forget me not // shownu

chapter 2

two sides to every story.
hyun woo pov

Since our debut, my worlds been completely turned upside down. Promotions, photoshoots, meet ups, and concerts have taken up any free time I may have had. Especially this new "reality" show they've signed us up for. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just hide in the background, but that's not an option for me.

Management unexpectedly reassigned positions the day before our debut. I was made the leader of the group and had no choice but to fulfill that role. It caused some tension between us, but there was nothing we could do.

People are expecting me to be a leader...to represent the maturity and successfulness of this group. But that's not who I am. It's not the type of person I'll ever be.

I miss my old life. My friends, my hometown, my school. That was a life that I belonged in. My friends allowed me to express myself in ways that I may never experience again. But since that time, I know I've let them down. They must think I've become too good for them now. There's no way to apologize. It's not like management cares about where I came from. To them, the less communication I have with the outside world, the better.

Management watches over us almost 24/7. Considering we're brand new in the music industry, we can't afford to make any mistakes. This means our style, attitude, personality, and love life are entirely in the hands of our company. They decide who's going to be the "rebel" or the "sweetheart", they tell us how to dress, except on a few occasions, and they monitor our relationships with other people, especially other idols. It sounds restricting, but it's normal protocol for managing a new group.

But I promised myself I would never give into this life. Well...I promised her.

Her name is Ellie. I haven't seen her in years. It's hard to think about it now. Sometimes the memories hurt too much.

I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for her. She convinced me that I could accomplish anything I set my mind too. The possibilities were endless. She was so confident and put together. Even to this day, I can't comprehend what would've attracted her to me.

We haven't talked since I left America. For the first few months I tried to think of things to say to her, but nothing seemed right. I knew she was better off without me, so why put her through the pain? It sounds bad, but I did it for her. I loved her...and I knew it was best to let go.

As I grew older, I began to think about her more and more. Daydreaming became a habit. All I could think about was how it might of been if I had stayed. Would we be together? Would she be happy?

I asked myself these questions daily. I missed her, and I knew it might be time to connect with her again....if she hadn't already forgotten about me.

But during this time, I was in the middle of auditions. Soon after that, I was picked up by a company and began training. The roller coaster had begun.

My thoughts of Ellie were pushed to the side. Training was all I could think about. There wasn't time for anything (or anyone) else. I know she doesn't understand this but there's no way to go back. I've made choices I can't reverse. Trying to explain all this to her now would be pointless.

It's too late to reconnect.

♡ minyoongles