Dangerous: A Marcel Styles Fan Fiction

37: Much Like Falling

37: Much Like Falling

   The last time I’d looked in my journal of song lyrics was back at work at HJ before Marcel had transformed into what he now was. He was just a nerd to me the last time I opened the book and worked on my dream.

   The only songs I saw in my journal were pages and pages of lyrics expression popularity, fame and partying – basically a mess of the popular Ke$ha songs. Not one of them really had feeling and emotion lacing it. Not one of them even expressed love, or heartbreak, or even really happiness. They were just messes of nothing.

   I grabbed a pencil and put the tip to the page, thinking about Marcel and bringing up my inner rhyming dictionary. I thought about all out experiences, all our confessions, every emotion I felt when I was with him – all the uncertainty and doubt – and the love which came only after I lost him. I kept this up just pouring out more emotions until I had a half decent page or two of scribbles. I looked them over and thought about a title. Though there were two options, I chose the lesser. This was a sad song, and, therefore, had the sad title “Much Like Falling”:

There are no more chapters of our story,

I’m left with teary eyes.

No matter how much I say sorry,

It’s not enough to apologize.

You kept saying truths alone,

But I couldn’t deny.

In hard times my cover’s blown,

But it wasn’t always a lie.

It feels so much like falling,

Heart shattered like fragile glass.

I watched and waited for this heartbreak to pass.

I thought I would feel nothing,

But that wasn’t the truth.

Dormant emotions sparked to life and now I know:

I love you.

Now I’m standing here secluded,

As you disappear into the night.

And I have concluded,

You’re the one, you were right.

Your anger is so cold,

My cries are all ashamed.

But I said these words so bold,

And you still didn’t believe my claims.

It feels so much like falling,

Heart shattered like fragile glass.

I watched and waited for this heartbreak to pass.

I thought I would feel nothing,

But that wasn’t the truth.

Dormant emotions sparked to life and now I know:

I love you.

I never said it, but now I know it’s true,

The tears, the pain, the girl inside me is telling me I love you!

It feels so much like falling,

Heart shattered like fragile glass.

I watched and waited for this heartbreak to pass.

I thought I would feel nothing,

But that wasn’t the truth.

Dormant emotions sparked to life and now I know:

I –

   I’d written “love” right? Whatever it had been, it was now just a wet spot on the page, left behind from the tears welling in my eyes and spilling from my cheeks.