Step Brother (Josh Dun)

never was never will be

Trigger warning cutting
I got home at 5 and Josh was in his room playing his drums I went to ask where our parents are and when I entered his room he was crying "what's wrong!?!?"
"Uh nothing"
I went and sat beside him on his bed and i put my arm on him cause he helped me feel safe so I wanted to do the same.
He turned over and looked into my eyes "everything's wrong taylor everything"
"Josh I'm here if you need me"
"Not the way I want you to be though"
I looked at him and we both leaned in then *KIDS WHERE HOME"
I quickly realized what I was doing was wrong and ran out of the room with tears running down my face all I hear from down the hall is "Taylor is that you?"
"I have to go to the bathroom" I quickly ran down the hall into my bathroom crying
Then I get a text
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Jishjosh: you're a fucking asshole you know that
TaYLor:Can you fucking not I had a horrible day
Jishjosh:I wouldn't actually fucking date you, hope you know that lol
TaYLor: No one would bye going to kms
Jishjosh wait
Jishjosh: don't I'm sorry
TaYLor left the conversation
Jishjosh:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jishjosh: I hope you don't I'm sorry :(
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I was already fucking depressed this just pushed me over the line. I left the bathroom trying to stay strong I've been cleared for 20 days now I don't want to mess this up.
I went into the kitchen and my mom asked me to set the table "I actually wanted to eat in my room tonight I'm just not feeling it"
"Alright but remember you've been clean for 20 days and I'm proud of you"
I grabbed my plate and when I turned around Josh was there starring at me I walked right past him with tears in my eyes "goodbye" I whispered
He turned around and just said "dont"
I went to my room placed my food on my bed and went to check my phone
●○ 6 new messages○●
Jishjosh:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jishjosh:I hope you don't I'm sorry :(
Jishjosh: whatever I bet you won't
Jishjosh:fuck sorry
Jishjosh:my girlfriends 20 days clean I bet you can be to
Jishjosh:whatever bye
TaYLor: I can't I'm sorry.
Jishjosh FUCK
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I looked at myself in the mirror and opened the cabinet and took the razor across my wrist but I went to far I cut to deep my arm started to bleed so much then beside me the bathroom door opened it was Josh dammit I forgot to lock it "TAYLOR !!!" Josh screamed

BTW go read wanted by @frerardorjoshler2