Waiting

I'm Sorry

It's the waiting that's the worst.

Waiting. Waiting for something, anything, any signs you're still here.

Physically you're here, as you lie on this bed in this dull white hospital room.

But, mentally, who knows?

I don't.

Michelle doesn't.

Even the doctors don't.

"Prepare yourself for the worst,"

So, here I am. Sitting by your bedside knowing you could wake up any minute or I could lose you. I could lose you forever.

That isn't an option. I don't think I could bare to carry on without you.

Not after everything.

The fire didn't break us. Your gambling didn't break us. Neither will this.

You've been through so much, too much.

Too much to let three thugs be the end of you, the end of us.

In my restaurant.

My bistro.

You need to wake up. There's so much we need to do still. So much I need to ask you.

Why were you there? Why did you chase after them? Why did this have to happen? Why?

You must have been so scared. Lying there. Semi conscious. You didn't even have anyone with you.

I still can't believe it. I let this happen to you.

I'm so sorry. 

If I hadn't had gone down to London. We might not be in this mess. I told you I'd love you and look after you and never let anything happen to you.

But, when it came down to it, I just let it happen. I put some stupid meeting before you and I let you down.

I let them hurt you.

After everything you've been through, I still couldn't protect you. 

What kind of fiancé does that make me?

I let them hurt you.

"Possible brain damage," it still rings in my ears. Echoing and replaying, non stop.

Possible brain damage. Just three words.

Three words can change it all.

How did we get here?

Just months ago, we were so happy, so in love.

And then it's just like one revelation and suddenly it's  all gone.

I can't bare this waiting.

It's been three weeks since I got the call from Steve, telling me I needed to get back to weatherfield straight away, that something had happened. That drive was the longest drive I've ever experienced. It seemed like the roads didn't end and I would never make it back.

But, I did.

They told me you could wake up within a matter of hours, now here I am. Now, it could be more weeks, months, years, maybe never.

So I'm just left here, waiting.

It's just, I don't know how much longer I can wait.