The Undercover Nerd

Chapter 24

London's POV:

I would always willy-nilly remember the evening when I collected the individual, sharp shards out of the grass, while countless tears were rolling down my cheeks. I bit my lip and tried to suppress the tears, while I was with my books pressed tightly to my chest, leaning against my locker. Just as before, no one paid really attention, so they didn't even noticed me. Therefore I didn't really care if one or two tears moistened my cheeks.

It's finally Friday and that means weekend. The whole week I hadn't met Marcel once in school. Maybe he is sick ... or mad at me? I took his glasses out of the breast pocket of my shirt, looking closely at the twisted frame. I myself didn't know why I carried them everywhere. Maybe because I wanted to give them back to Marcel, if I would meet him somewhere, or because I wanted to have something that belonged to him with me, when I couldn't talk to him anymore. But I had to give them back to him and maybe my answer finally as well. Far too stupid I had been thinking about it at all. Of course I loved him. I just think that it all happened so suddenly. My feelings, and then even his as well, have just caught me off guard. But deep inside I always knew that I wanted only one thing... and that was Marcel.

'Eleanor is not my girlfriend.' 

Yes, I had to believe him. Eleanor wasn't his girlfriend and he just wanted me, only me. A small smile spread across my desperate features, before I opened my locker and put my books inside. I was relieved that this turbulent week was finally over and I finally had a little break from all the school stuff. Unfortunately, other problems would replace this instead. Marcel.

He was what I wanted, but at the same time my problem. Only I was the cause of this problem, because I could easily solve it. Why am I so insecure?

The locker door slammed shut before I picked up my bag from the floor and moved towards the exit.

"GO OUT OF MY WAY !" I heard a deep boy's voice growling.

It was Jack. Ugh.

With full force he pushed me to the side and I almost tripped over my own feet.

"Have a good week-end to you too," I muttered, rolling my eyes and continued walking outside.  

I have to tell him...tonight. 

***

Focused on the thing in my hands I bit my lower lip, as I sat at my desk and tried to straighten his glasses again. My eyes wandered to the almost healed scar on my finger, which I got when picked up the shards last Friday. They almost reached the knuckles of my hand. After I was sure that the frame was now back in order, I tucked it in the pocket of my coat and got up from my previous seat.

I had this strange feeling in my stomach. It was a mixture of nervousness, anxiety and butterflies that fluttered wildly in my stomach. I only needed to think about Marcel's piercing green eyes and I couldn't let go of this feeling.

Reluctantly, I grabbed my phone and typed in a message to him.

-Are you at home ? - London.x-

I let out a deep breath and tried to calm down. My hands were shaking, heart was pounding against my chest. It took a while to reply but I was even more relieved, as I finally read his answer on the screen.

-Yeah , just came back.-

The way he answered me, caused me once again to suppress the tears. No emoji or a well-meant 'x', not even his abbreviation at the end of the sentence. Maybe I overreacted what his response was concerned, but I couldn't ignore the hardness, he indirectly suggested.

-I'll be over in a few.-

I had to tell him, and this time nothing could stop me. Even if Eleanor would stand there, or whoever else, I had to tell him. I had to tell him what he slowed from me and what my feelings demanded... what I wanted so longingly.

I swallowed hard and closed the door behind me. Then I moved down the stairs and flung open the heavy front door to enter into the dark night. The stars shone in the sky and the moon was shining bright. I was aware that it was pretty late, but at the moment I didn't care. Come on London, you can do it!

I don't know what made ​​me so insecure. Why I couldn't believe what Marcel told me. Maybe because no one had ever loved me. My parents were always busy with their company, I never had any friends and even I myself didn't like me. My womanly curves were always a disadvantage for me, let alone the fact that would think I was pretty. So why would anyone else think I would? That was the point that made me feel uneasy. I wasn't confident enough to believe in love and Marcel's words had just surprised me.

'Hey Marcel, I love you too.'

No, that sounds hysterical.

'Hi, uhm, can we talk ?'

That's better.

With each step, I was getting more nervous and bit my lip harder and harder. I had to constantly encourage myself to not turn back around and to go further instead. I couldn't imagine how he would react or what he would probably say, let alone whether I would ever get a sound out of my trembling mouth, which I tried to contol by capturing my lips between my teeth.

I just hoped it wasn't too late.

____________

I'll try to post the next chapter tonight, but I can't promise! 

Did you get any tickets for the Where We Are Tour yet? 

I didn't get some, but I'll try to buy some as soon as I get the money:D 

-Nikolina.x

#TeamLorry