Shia LeBeouf x Reader

A date?!?

You are out with your friends at Starbucks, your most jfavoritist places of all time. You are drinking a double frappa choco monstonstrosus deluxe coffee with whip cream and ketchup and looking at Dank memes. "OMG" one of your friends named Stephanie says "IS THAT SHIA LEBEOUF!!!"??? You turn around and see him walking into Starbucks. You've had a crush on him since you first watched transformers. He walks up to the counter and says "I'll have a double frappa choco monstonstrosus deluxe coffee with whip cream and ketchup" You stare at him with wide eyes thinking "OMG WE HAVE THE SAME FAV DRINK" He gets his order an sits down at the table right beside yours. You look at him and he notices you staring at him an looks at you. You look away an start sweating peanut butter. Then Shia gets up and sits at your table. "Hey there, what's your name" e ask. "U-uh, my n-name is u-um, (y/n)". "That's an awesome name" he says. He hands you a napkin to wipe away the peanut butter. You blush and except it. You wipe away all the peanut butter and go to throw away the napkin but Shia takes it from you and eats it. You look around and notice all your friends had left hours ago and it is now night time. " oh no, I don't have a ride home" you say. "I could give you a ride" Shia says. You accept an get in his Bugatti that's says 'DANK' on the side of it. "Where do you live" he asks. "Flimsondale" you say. "But that's all the way in Pennsylvania and we're in California" Shia exclaims. " you can stay at my house if you want😉" " S-sure. I mean a-as long as I'm n-not a b-b-burden☺️" you say flustered. Shia begins to drive at 99.99 mph and you arrive at a trailer park. "We're here" he says getting out and opening the door for you. You get out of his sweg mobile and follow him into his trailer home. It's dirty af but you can't complain cause you live in a box. He goes over to the kitchen and presses a button. Then to your amazement he raps all of Kitchen Sink by Twenty Øne Piløts. "THAT WAS SO KEWL SENPAI" you say blushing. You then notice that a secret door had opened and it lead to some stairs. Shia being the total meme lord master he is, jumped down the 3 flights of stairs. He landed on the bottom and had broken 3 fingers but because he's so Dank they healed instantly. You use your wings to simply fly down stairs and you do an epic back flip before you land. "That was Dank" Shia says. You blush like crazy " Th-thank you Shia s-senpai". You look around the room and notice it is a sex dungeon. "Kinky" you say, looking at all the things he owns. You come across a cage but can't see inside "what in here" you ask Shia. "Oh, that's where Shrek lives". "Can I open it" you ask. "Sure" Shia says. You open the cage and out from the shadows comes Shrek. "Now let's get this party started" Shia says holding a dildo. Shrek leaps out and tackles you and Shia shoves the dildo down your throat. Then they both have sex with you and you die. Your last words being " That was memelicious". After that Shia and Shrek have loud oniony sex and then they both die screaming "THIS IS MY SWAMP". The End.

Dedicated to thedoctorwithabowtie . He is one weird mofo.