Imaginary Lover

Chapter 18

                 

A/N- What is this? An update? How is this possible? What sorcery is this? Well, this fic is almost at the end and there will probably be only one chapter after this before the epilogue and I will try my best to make it long as hell. Thank you guys so much for sticking with this story. I love you guys

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Two Years Later

Dean and Castiel had been together for quite some time now. Their relationship had been fraught with ups and downs in the beginning but it had settled in the last few years. Of course that wasn't to say that they didn't have fights or arguments. They fought like every other couple did and resolved their differences or just chose to agree to disagree. But there was one thing that had started weighing on Dean's mind recently- the fact that Cas would be graduating and they hadn't talked about what their future would look like.

Each day they met and Dean felt as though it lingered between them- that unanswered question that both hesitated to voice because saying it out loud would mean acknowledging the reality of what may happen instead of enjoying what they had now.

But the truth was that Dean was afraid. What if Cas didn't want things to continue? There was so much that Dean had imagined that they would do together that he couldn't imagine doing with anyone else. Would all those hopes and dreams be laid to waste? They had to be solid, they needed to talk about this so that things could be planned and discussed.

There were only a few months left until Castiel would graduate and recently, he'd been distant. It was new but Dean picked up on it immediately. Texts were fewer, there were more silences, less time spent together. He didn't want to believe what might be happening. Maybe Castiel had a reason for cancelling on their Netflix Night the third time in a row or not calling him when he said he would. Right?

Dean played with his phone, procrastinating and nervous at the prospect of texting his boyfriend. He hadn't felt this way in years and here he was, hesitating to type out a simple text to ask to meet the love of his life. He looked at the ring that was on his right hand and drew strength from it and texted Castiel asking him to meet him at the lake where they went on their first date.

For a long while, his phone was silent. A few hours later, his phone pinged with a text.

Cas- Okay. Time?

Dean glanced at the time and replied that they should meet right now if possible.

He didn't get a reply in return so he took that as acquiescence and walked out of the house and to his car. No one was home yet and he was hoping that he would be back on time or at least go out to dinner with Cas. A terrible pit yawned open in his stomach and it caused anxiety to build up. They had been through so much, it couldn't just end.

Thoughts were swirling and changing constantly, from best case to worst case scenarios, and Dean felt as though the worst case was more likely. It's not because he didn't want to be with Cas, it was because he felt that Cas might not want to be with him. Yes, Cas had said that he would wait for Dean, no matter how long it took but they'd been dating for over two years and they still hadn't had sex. In most people's books, that was a deal breaker unless they were completely and irrevocably in love. The feelings that Dean had were like that, complete, irrevocable, made for Cas. But he was starting to wonder if it was the same for Cas or if Cas had said that at the time and thought that maybe Dean would get over his insecurities and scars by now and they would have sex.

That particular thought sunk Dean's heart right through his body and out. It hurt him to think that it might just be about them not having sex. His pessimism had kept him alive in the past but it was time now to consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, it was something else and he wasn't being used again. Trust him, he loves you. The thought gave him comfort as he reached the park-lake.