Casting Grey

Chapter 6

I fingered the walls and scanned my surroundings. The all so familiar dark and matt walls with our group posters stuck on them, sajangnim's proudest babies. Then, I felt a pang of guilt once more. I felt as if I've betrayed him, and dismissed a chance for the both of us to become successful. It was my fault. When I looked up at the posters, the members' faces looked up at me, and smiled at me, as though they were trying to convey words of encouragement to me. Just then, I heard footsteps coming down the staircase and looked up. Seven hyung. He was one of my greatest companions throughout my journey in YG, and he has one of the most marvelous ideas going on inside his head. That guy, that genius man standing right before me. He gave me a disapproving frown, before enveloping me into a bone-crushing hug. After he let go, I winced. "Kwon ji yong, you finally came back huh? Finally sane? Finally willing to give your best to sajangnim? Was that how you intended how to repay him? Just with an apology letter? Ya, 와서!" He was really mad, and his eyes were rimmed with red along its corners. Seven hyung changed alot, eyebags were seen, clothes baggy and tattered, his voice has also grown coarse. Everything changed so much after my departure, I couldn't help but to blame myself yet again. He grabbed me by the collar and dragged me up. The place where I wanted to be in least, at the moment. Sajangnim's office. It was easy recognizable, with the black door and a golden moschino engraved sign, "too young to live". Seven hyung knocked on the door and a curt voice behind the screen replied, "Ji yong, come in."
I was appalled at how he knew it was me who was standing outside the door all along. "How.. how...h-"
"I knew you since you were eight, kid, so spare me the bullshit. Care for a cup of cappucino? Let's have a good talk and you can go and meet the rest. Chaerin misses you." He chuckled while stirring in the creamer. I winced at the mention of CL, yet another person I was afraid to face. I cheated her, her feelings, her passion, and stole that innocent character away from her. I'm a monster. However, I looked at my palms and told myself, you came here to clear your conscience, so you'd better be prepared to face the consequences, Kwon Ji Yong...
While climbing up the stairs to sajangnim's office, i had a sudden flashback, of the period of time before i left.
"Chaerin ya~ are you happy in YG? or are you planning to leave YG after your contract end? Do tell me earlier although I sincerely hope a talented person like you would stay, arrasso? " sajangnim's wise words rang out. I stood behind the door and listened to their conversation, hoping that CL wouldn't leave. I would miss her dearly. "Sajangnim, CLssi, you guys are here. I have to speak to appa for a while, chaerin meet you in a while?" She gave me a doubtful look, as of why she had to leave the room. And now, she regretted leaving that very room, without hearing what I had to say.
-flashback over-

I reminisced how well sajangnim treated me and how close we were compared to the other trainees since I was 10 years old. Yet, he had to face the bitter betrayal of me, the "talent" he thought I was, and took pain to groom. Tears welled up in my eyes, but they just refused to fall down.