Once Rejected, Twice Shy

Chapter 3

I was exhausted.

The silence in the room was unnerving. I missed the familiar sounds of Cassie's light snores when we had shared a room. She was a noisy sleeper, but the noise helped me sleep back at our old home. The unnerving silence kept me awake for too long, which was then backed up with late night anxiety and nerves which made it impossible to sleep.

I hated being back here. It was too familiar, too painful. It had been home once, but I had never felt more out of place.

The sun was barely up and I decided a warm shower would probably do me some good. Perhaps loosen my muscles that were wrought so tightly, I could barely walk properly. I tried to keep my footsteps light as I entered the darkened hallway, not loving the idea of a common bath.

I had wanted to take a long hot shower, but fifteen minutes in, I heard tired morning greetings and knew my time was up. I had managed to avoid anyone else once out and was pretty proud of myself till I spotted a familiar figure ahead of me.

I tried to keep my sigh in as Cassie pushed herself off my door as soon as she spotted me. I notice the scowl on her face as she waited for me to cover the distance.

"I knocked. I was thinking whether to barge in or not."

"You barged didn't you?" I checked and she shrugged. I noticed the bags under her eyes and decided that I wasn't going to become the first person she snapped at. Cassie hated change and this shift wouldn't have been easy for her. It wouldn't have been easy on anyone.

"Come on, I think I know where the kitchen is."

I wanted to tell her that breakfast wouldn't be in the kitchen, that it would be at the main dining hall but I kept my mouth shut, partly to avoid her morning moodiness and partly not to admit to myself that I still knew this place inside out. I let her lead, slowing a little as we caught glimpses of the sunrise in the window. The hallway was starting to lit up and people had started to appear.

I was relieved to see familiar faces as they acknowledged us as we passed. A few kids had ran up to Cassie with toothy grins, brightening her mood slightly as they begged for her to play with them till their parents called them back. A few other pack members decided to join us as we made our way to breakfast, the light conversations and welcoming smiles easing my tension just a little. They pointed us in the right direction, earning myself a glare which I shrugged off teasingly.

Yet that tension all came rushing back as I spotted my brother the second we stepped into the dining hall. Our little group had dispersed, most going straight for the table laid out with food. Jared was talking to two others, their backs facing me but as soon as I watch the conversation die off from his face, I felt the dread sitting at the bottom of my stomach explode.

I watched as my parents turned, I held back my tears as my eyes met theirs. I felt my heart shatter at how watery my dad's eyes were and how my mum had let slip a choked gasp. I knew that I wanted to go to them, but fear had me grabbing Cassie's arm and turning my back to them as I marched towards the food, unsure of where else to go.

I heard Cassie's sound of protest, which died quickly as she caught up with my long strides. Gone was the effort to keep my footsteps silent as I practically stomp my way towards the table. It was taking everything in me not to cry and as Cassie cut into my field of vision with a bright smile on her face, I was never happier to have her by my side.

"I win, I get to eat first." She gloated as she blocked my path and grabbed a plate for herself as she stuck her tongue out at me. She raced down the length of the table, piling her plate as if she had gone hungry for days.

Despite my almost tears, I laughed. I laughed lightly as I took a plate and grabbed what I thought I would be able to keep down. My appetite was gone, replaced by a nauseated feeling of nervousness and fear I haven't felt in a while. But as I watch Cassie join Taylor at a nearby table and stealing his ham sandwich from plate, I felt slightly more relieved as I focused on them.