Selector

I sat in the desk chair, my right leg jiggled up and down in a combination of jitters and nerves and anxiety. Did I take my meds this morning? In that moment I couldn't remember, but brushed it off. I had bigger fish to fry at the moment. The stack of papers sitting on the administrator's desk held my future. I couldn't bear to let anything else consume my thoughts.

This was everything I had worked for. Somewhere in that stack of papers was my name with my designated Sector right beside it. It had taken me the full 5 years to complete my Ph.D. And now, this was the moment of truth. I took a deep breath when I remembered I hadn't taken one in a while. 142 seconds to be exact.

I couldn't figure out if the anxiety I was feeling was because of my impending future, or because I didn't take my meds. I would have to check when I got back to the dorm. It had to be because of the stack of paper's on the administrators desk. I never skipped my meds. Never.

I tried to lock that thought in a box in the back of my brain. No time for that. I took another breath, this time it was 78 seconds after my last. I was tense all over, my body rigid with anticipation. What was he waiting for? Just pass back the damn assignments already. I felt like I was going to throw up.

I wondered briefly how Alvy was doing. He was in the room next door, undoubtedly in the same state as me. A nervous wreck. It had been 98 seconds since my last breath. I took another. I needed to get home and soon. I wished he would hurry up and pass the damn assignments out.

I failed. I didn't get anything. That's what happened. I know it. I am a horrible geneticist. I am dumb and worthless. No hospital or company is going to want me. I will end up back home doing some pathetic remedial job with a completely worthless Ph.D. in Genetics. I'm a disgrace. I will have wasted all of my time and effort. I didn't have any real potential anyways. I barely got into this program, and I probably graduated at the bottom of my class. That is if I graduated at all.

The administrator clapped his hands together, breaking my train of thought. "Okay, let's get started. On my desk are your offers for post-doctorate work in the field of Genetics. Your offers are from the hospitals or companies directly and are based on their judgement of your potential. You may receive multiple offers, you may receive one, or you may receive none. You have 24 hours to decided to accept your post. When I call your name, please come take your assignments and then you are dismissed. Please do not whine to me about not getting what you wanted. It's not my fault, nor can I fix it." He cleared his throat and picked up the stack. "First up is Melaine Albany."

A girl with blonde hair stood, grabbed her paper. As she looked at her results, her face dropped. She then exited the room in a blur of tears and embarrassment. That would be me in just a few short minutes.

A few more names were called. The reactions varied from disappointment, to excitement, to a simple shrug of acceptance. My name was then called. I stood, walked to the front of the room and took the piece of paper from the administrator's outstretched hand. He spoke to me in a quiet voice, "Congratulations, Mr. Bly."

I didn't look at the paper. I couldn't stand the embarrassment of finding out my results in front of my peers. Once out in the hallway I made a brave glance down at the sheet. There was a list of five names. Sector 2 Hospital, Sector 3 Hospital, The Corp., Sector 4 Hospital, and Government Health Care.

These were the top five posts. How could that be? I got offers from the top five places to work in the country.