Silent Night

Chapter 6

Taylor

When Ruby kissed me on the cheek I know it's stupid, but I felt hope. Hope that maybe not everyone in this world hates me and hope that maybe I could finally have someone. She is different to everyone I have met, she doesn't judge me, she accepts me for who I am and I accept her. I felt like nothing could bring me down right now, I felt like I was finally happy. As close as I could be anyway, I was cold and wet so headed upstairs for a shower. Thank god my dad was already asleep so I had no issues with him; the water was nice and warm on my skin like a fluffy blanket. I kept running my fingers over where Ruby had kissed me goodnight and couldn't help but smile, I felt like a smitten 4th grader who had her first kiss. Ruby made me feel as though everything in the world was perfect and when I was with her nothing else mattered. She was the perfect friend and hopefully maybe one day more than that. I excited the shower and got into a singlet and pj pants before sliding into bed just staring out the window at the stars.

After about an hour of not being able to sleep I started hearing noises downstairs, yelling and things breaking. I grabbed Ruby's jumper now dry from my desk chair and slowly slipped downstairs. My mum was crying and my father was yelling at her for something, something else was thrown and broken making me cringe backwards remembering all the beatings. I mustered up some strength and went further downstairs to see what was going on. All I heard was something about bills and my dad's drug problem. Despite my mums efforts to hide our financial problems I knew that my dad's drug problem weighed heavily on us and I knew that if he kept it up we would be in debt. So I tried not to ask for more than the essentials and only ever asking for something if I knew we could afford it. My mum was trying to calm my dad down but he just continued to throw things and scream at her. I poked my head around the corner and saw him standing right in front of her throwing his arms around and getting more furious by the second. Mum was trying to reason with him but he wouldn't listen, I knew better than to get involved but I lost it when he hit her. He slapped her right across the face and she whimpered. Hearing this he got angrier and slapped her again before pushing her down to the ground. Jason kicked her in the side and then began to punch her shoulders and her arms as she tried to shield her face. I burst from my hiding spot and launched myself at him knocking him to the floor. Momentarily shocked but not for long, I quickly helped my mum up and pushed her into the downstairs bathroom ordering her to lock it. She hated when I got hurt for her but it was known by the both of us that I was tougher and less frail therefore could take more of a beating. Only seconds after getting my mum to safety Jason comes barrelling at me and grabs me by the hair yanking me to the floor. He kicks me in the side and kicks at my arms which like my mother were up to protect my face. Noticing that he wasn't inflicting enough pain he grabs my hair again this time to pull me up to face him. For the first time during a beating he says something to me that hurt more than the beatings combined. He whispered in my ear

"I never wanted you and neither did your mother, you should be glad that I didn't throw you on the street like I planned"

My dad slapped me furiously across the face and then eventually the slaps became closed handed and he is punching me with so much force I am surprised that my teeth don't go flying out. I feel my nose break and blood starts trickling down my nose and out of the left corner of my mouth. As I am used to it I refer back to a state I have practised many times, I go limp and eventually numb. It is so much easier and if I can take myself to another place and pretend I am somewhere else the beating becomes barely bearable. I imagine that I am with Ruby in the park swinging on the swings laughing and squealing in happiness. The sky above me is a crystal blue, clearer than I have ever seen it and the wind whips my face. Ruby is on the swing next to me laughing along with me. I find myself smiling in genuine joy. I know what is happening in reality but I don't care, I am in my happy place.