forever always

ii. its in your smile

✿✿✿✿

"WHAT?" they all seemed to yell at once. I looked up at them and scratched the back of my neck.

"Y-yeah..." I stuttered out, regretting telling them. They'll probably tell me to get rid of it. That's not what I want. Unless... Unless I do? No, no I don't want her to feel bad... I want her to know that I'm happy. I just... I can't face her now... Or maybe I can? My whole head was spinning.

"Niall?" Harry shook me from my thoughts. "Niall how did this happen?" I looked up at him. "I fucking had sex with her you retard," I spat out, frustrated and confused. Harry looked hurt but I didn't care at that moment. I stood up, finally finding strength. I started for the door in a hurry.

"Where the hell are you going Niall?" Louis almost glared at me. Liam gave me a sympathetic look. "Let him be, Lou, this is a rough time for him," he cooed, calming Louis down.

"He's probably going to fuck his girlfriend again so she has twins," Zayn winked at me, making me blush and fill up with rage.

"It doesn't fucking work like that, fucktard!" I spat out at him, letting out all of my stress on him. Zayn just waved me away and I stormed out of the hotel room.

"Okay well bye," Louis called after me. I ignored him and texted Jade:

(14:32) Where the fuck are you?

I didn't hide my anger and I knew Jade could tell. Little did she know that I wasn't mad at her, only the lads. They weren't supportive. Well... I actually didn't know what their opinions about the baby were, since they only wanted to joke about it. Damn idiots. 

Suddenly my pocket vibrated and I fumbled to grab my phone. I had a text from Jade. I wonder what took her so long to respond. Maybe Perrie's comforting her. I hope she's okay. I opened up the message:

(14:35) Perrie's room, 315.  Don't be angry.

Crap. I scared the shit out of her. I rushed down the hallway to room 315 and knocked, lightly so she wouldn't be intimidated. I waited for a few seconds, then the door creaked open. Then it opened up all the way, Jade standing behind it, covered in tears. I suddenly started sobbing too, not really understanding why. Maybe it was the stress, maybe the whole situation in general, maybe Jade crying. I pulled Jade into a hug and walked into the room, still embracing her. She was shaking from crying and maybe fear. I sat her down on the bed then noticed Perrie watching us discreetly from the desk. "I'll be going now," Perrie quickly said, then scurried out the door.

Once she left, Jade looked up at me, her face puffy and red, mascara on her cheeks. I stifled some tears, trying to regain myself. I wiped away a tear then kissed her cheek. She shuddered. "Princess I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered into her ear. Finally she spoke, voice cracking. "B-but you're angry with me..." she stuttered out. I kissed her softly on the lips, shushing her.

"You think I could be mad at you? Especially now?" I tried to calm her. She just shrugged.

"I was just angry at the boys sweet pea," I added, trying to reassure her. Jade smiled a little and so did I. "You kept your promise," she said. I nodded, pulling her close into another embrace.

"I would never break a promise," I mumbled into her cheek. She giggled from the vibrations on her now dry cheek. I looked at her sleeves - sopping wet. "Love, maybe you should get on a new shirt." She nodded and went through Perrie's clothes.

"All of Pezz's are too tight or small..." she frowned. 

I grabbed her waist from behind. "But I want to see your bump," I whispered into her neck, nuzzling my face into her collarbone. Jade blushed, obviously still embarrassed about this whole situation.

"If I see it baby, I can think this all through," I started and she looked up at me, listening. "I'll decide if I want the baby or not," I finished.

Her face dropped. "Actually, this is my body Niall, you aren't going to have much say in this decision. Especially since I already decided." She pushed away from me and looked me straight in the eye. "I've had three months to think about this and I've already decided to keep it."

I couldn't say anything except look at her. My mouth went dry, and I couldn't think.

Keep it? She already decided? Without me? I thought maybe I would have a say in this, I am the father for God's sake! Instead of saying that though, I just put my hand on her stomach. "I want to see your bump." I almost commanded. Jade kissed my cheek and gently moved my hand before lifting up her shirt. Her bump was small but not completely unnoticeable. I would've seen it if she hadn't worn those baggy clothes. 

I put my hand back on the bump, looking at her and smiling big. I couldn't say anything except for repeating the same things over and over again.

"I'm going to be a father, and this is our child and I can’t wait, this is my baby."

Jade giggled at me, her eyes full of relief and smiling as well. "I got an ultrasound a few days ago and had the doctor print it off for me," she said, still smiling and starting to run to her purse, pulling out a folded up photograph. "I kept the gender a secret, too, I figured it's more fun if it's a surprise," she added. 

I nodded, still a little dumbfounded. I couldn't get the concept through my mind. I'm going to be a father. I'm going to have a child; she's carrying our child. A dozen things ran through my head, thoughts of happiness and some of sadness. Wait if she loses the baby? What if a fan pushes her? I suddenly felt extremely protective about her. I had to keep her safe; she couldn't lose this child... Our child. Jade kissed my cheek then handed me the picture.

I looked down at it, tears threating to fall once again. It was a black and white picture, a small, I don't know... blob? A baby, that's what it was. It was my child, curled up in a ball as if it were fast asleep. Without warning, I grabbed Jade and kissed her passionately. She kissed me back, then I pulled away to look at the ultrasound again. "Turn it over," she said, smiling big.

I did as told and saw that there was writing on the back. I read it again and again:

Foetus - 36 weeks - 73mm - 23nd August

I just looked to Jade, who had a proud smile on her face, to the picture, to the writing, then back at her, then I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. My tears of joy.

"The baby's quite big already, don't you think? Jade broke the silence. I could only nod, and she handing me a tissue. "Tears of happiness I hope," she laughed. I nodded and pulled her into another embrace, very carefully, though. I wouldn't want to hurt our child. Our baby.