forever always

i. a big sweaters


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I got out of the plane and walked as fast as I could, looking everywhere, searching for my long-term girlfriend, Jade Thirlwall. Finally I found her, smaller than everyone beside her, standing in the middle of the room, as she was very short for a 20 year old. Her big eyes were full of an emotion I couldn't understand. It was a mix of fear and...joy? I ran until I was standing in front of her, smiling. "H-hi Nialler..." was all that came out of her mouth. I didn't notice the fear, though, I was too happy.




"Hey babe! I missed you so much!" With that, I kissed her softly, feeling my heartbeat get faster as she responded to my kiss. "Missed you, too..." She mumbled while wrapping her petite arms around my neck.




"Are you ok? You don't seem alright..." I looked at her, my eyebrows raising as I saw that she was wearing something she said she hated. A large t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Usually, she'd be wearing skinny jeans or a skirt... I was starting to get worried. She just looked down and fiddled with her thumbs, pushing her glasses up after they fell.




"I'm fine," she almost snapped at me. I wasn't completely sure but I was too happy to have Jade in my arms again to care at the moment. Even when I heard the boys behind us, making kissy noises and laughing, I just looked at her, a huge grin appearing on my face. "You changed your hair again, I like it." I said, trying to ease the subject. "Yeah, thanks," she shrugged.




"I forgot how pretty you are," I whispered in her ear. She blushed, looking adorable like always. Jade kissed me and replied smiling, "I forgot how charming you are." This smile... it just wasn't right. Frowning, I felt myself freezing. The outfit, the fake smiles... Jade didn't seem okay. She wasn't okay.




I saw her trying to hide a tear that was slowly falling down her perfect cheek, panicking even more. Holding her hand, I took her outside the airport and waited for a cab, letting the boys know that we needed some alone. They'd go to the hotel and wait for us there. I was going to take her to our favorite place, the site of our first date; a small park in London.




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Once we got there, we sat by the pond. Suddenly, Jade started crying and couldn't stop. "Babe, what's wrong? Please, tell me what's going on," She didn't answer. I felt my heart breaking in my chest. "Listen, Jade... I love you."




Finally, she controlled her tears enough to answer me, "I love you too, Niall," she tried to wipe away her tears. "I'm really sorry for crying... I know you hate it..." I took her hand and intertwined our fingers.




"Don't apologize, baby. But if there's something wrong, you have ta tell me," I tried to soothe her. My eyes followed her free hand as she put it on her stomach.




She took a deep breath, "Promise me something first," she wouldn't look me in the eyes until now. Her brown eyes were full of tears and they were bloodshot. "Please, promise you won't be angry with me..."




Nothing made sense. I couldn't tell where this was going and I got worried. "How could I ever be angry at you? Say what you have to say and we'll find a way to get through this no matter what it is." She looked down at her stomach and sighed deeply. Her words faltered when she breathed out, "I'm pregnant..."




"W...What? You're... you're what?" My face was completely blank as I looked at her, unable to produce even the smallest sound. She apologized over and over while she looked at the ground. Jade was crying so hard that her mascara ran all the way down her cheeks and she tried to fix it with her sleeve. I wanted to hug her to make her smile again but... nothing. My body was in control. I just couldn't face it. I stood up, unable to look at her. "Just... just give me some time," With that, I left, hearing her calling after me and knowing that soon the tears would run down my cheeks as well.




I ran all the way to the hotel where the rest of the boys were. They wanted me to explain what was going on but I just couldn't breathe. "Niall? Are you okay?" Harry asked me as he checked my forehead for a fever. Feeling like throwing up, I took out my phone and sent Jade a short text message:




(13:56) I love you no matter what. We'll get through this. x




"Y-yeah, I'm... I'm okay I guess," I finally whispered, knowing this wouldn't convince them at all. In a split second, I got a text back from Jade. This made me feel terrible, I knew I was slowly killing her. I could even hear her worried tone, barely relieved:




Jadey: (13:56) Thank God... I love you, too.xx




The boys gave a strange look. "Niall, we know you're not okay," Liam stated. Then Zayn spoke, "Niall just tell us what happened. Where's Jade?"




"Jade's um... one sec..." I was being a terrible boyfriend. I texted her:




(13:58) Where are you, princess?




She took a little longer to respond. She was probably making tea to calm her nerves. It was an extremely short text, one word, letting me know that she didn't want to talk:




Jadey: (14:00) Hotel




She must've been with Perrie in the other hotel room. "A different hotel room, she's okay..." I finally answered Zayn's question. I sent her another text:




(14:01) I think we should tell the boys.




Even though she was obviously upset, she still replied:




Jadey: (14:01) Good idea babe.




Louis sat down next to me, "Niall tell us what happened at the park." Just then, I got another text from Jade:




Jadey: (14:02) I'm really sorry again.xx




As I read it, Louis shook me, begging to know what happened, so my text was quick:




(14:03) Stop apologizing baby, it's fine.




The reassurance wasn't working and I was getting worried. Maybe she suddenly hated me. "C'mon Ni, what happened?" they boys begged.




I took a deep breath in, still barely believing what I was told only a few minutes before. I looked at them, their faces concerned.




"Jade..." I started, I could barely get the single word out, "Jade... She's... Jade is pregnant." I finally said.