Chapter 5

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A M Y

I woke up to the sound of sniffling. I sat up and looked around the room. I was not at my house. I forgot that I stayed at Emily's house last night. But when I sat up from my spot on the floor, I couldn't see any sign of Emily. I heard sniffling again and finally got up, pulling the blanket off of me.

I walked around Emily's bed and to the bathroom door. I heard sniffling again, but this time louder. I rattled the door handle trying to open the door, but it was locked. I knocked on it, but there was no answer. I knocked again, this time louder.

"Emily?" There was still no answer, but a loud sob instead. I started to panic.

"Emily! Open the door!" I was screaming, banging on the door as hard as I could. But she still didn't answer. Her sobs continued.

Why did she lock herself in the bathroom? What is she doing? I was panicking. What do I do?

I need to get her out of there. Who knows what she is doing?

"Emily!!! I yelled, but there was no response. There was no sound at all. Not even her sobs. It was completely silent.

"Emily?"

Oh my God. Something is wrong. She wouldn't just stop crying out of no where. I have to get into that bathroom.

I ran over to my purse and quickly reached for my wallet. When I got it out, I pulled my credit card out. I ran over to the bathroom door and slid it through the crack of the door. I heard a clicking sound and twisted the door handle. I'm surprised that actually worked.

Finally, I opened the door and peeked through.

"Emily?" I peered around the door and gasped at the sight before me.

E M I L Y

I couldn't sleep.

It was 3a.m and I haven't slept at all. No matter how many times I tried to close my eyes and sleep the least little bit, my eyes would suddenly re-open. Sleep was impossible

Amy moved to the floor last night when she was sure that I was okay. I was glad. I felt crowded when she was here. I could hardly breath. It was like she was taking up all of my oxygen.

It's not that I don't like when she is here. It's just that, sometimes I like to be alone. Especially after my dad comes home. Because then, I can get my relief.

My relief.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

*TRIGGER WARNING *

I looked over to see if Amy was still asleep. When I saw that she was completely under the covers with nothing but her feet sticking out, I slowly got out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. I opened the drawer under the bathroom sink and reached in to retrieve my blade. I ran my arm under cold water to make it numb, then slid the blade over it. I don't know how many times I did this until I realized that I was crying. I let a single sob through my lips before quickly closing them. I couldn't wake Amy up.
She doesn't know that I self harm. And I don't know what her reaction would be if she found out that I did.

I kept sliding the blade over my arm. Over and over again, remembering the things that my dad told me.

Your stupid and worthless!

Cut.

Look at you, you ate all of that food and now you going to get fat.

Cut.

No one needs you! You just a worthless teenager!  You just cause unwanted trouble! That's all your good for!

Cut.

I did this until I ran out of room on my left arm. I moved over to my right arm and did the same thing, still trying to stifle my cries. My legs were weak and I could no longer stand. They finally gave out and I fell to the door, hitting my head on the sink. I let out another cry.

"Emily?" I heard a knock on the door.

Shit.

I finally let out my sob. There was no use in holding it in any more.

"Emily?!" She was banging on the door now, but I couldn't find the strength to make my legs work.

"Emily!!!" Her voice was muffled now. Like it was fading away. I looked down at my arm.

"Oh my God." I whispered. Then I became dizzy and fell to the floor, slowly closing my eyes as everything around me faded into black.

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Please don't hate me!

I know I said that this was going to be almost as long as chapter 4, but my mind kinda came up with this and I decided to put it in here. And Luke isn't in this chapter, but he will be in the next one, I promise!

I probably won't be able to update for the next few days because I'm going to stay at my sister's house. So I'm going to start updating chapters on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I don't update on one of those days, then I will update two chapters on the next day. I hope that's not too confusing for you.

I am probably going to update another chapter tomorrow. I am going to start writing it tonight so...........

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              Lots of love xx,

                           ~ Catie




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