If These Walls Could Talk [Frerard]

18: Save Yourself.

Mikey's voice cracked through the other end, urgency and what sounded like sobbing, but the stages just before, "Gerard, you-Frank-he-"

"Mikey, oh my god tell me-"

"Gerard, I'll be there in like, ten minutes but we have to fly back right now, oh my lord-"

"But, I can't leave this place."

Matt piped in, sensing the fear and shaking in my voice and face, "You have a pass. It's urgent, so we let you go."

"Mikey?"

He sniffed on the other end of the line, responding with a shaky, "Yea?"

"I'm scared."

--

Mikey got there, as in, the front gates, around fifteen minutes later. I was still shaking hard, and Matt had his arm around my shoulder. It was frigid outside, and my teeth chattering didn't help my nerves. My mind raced as I thought of the possibilities, the horrible consequences that could have come along with whatever Frank happened to do, or, at least, what he allowed to be done to him. Mikey hadn't told me what happened to my best friend until we were in the car, but even then he was vague about the topic. His eyes were still red and puffy, mine just wide, awake, and alerted.

"Tell me what happened, Mikey," I demanded, my voice still soft as his knuckles tightened on the wheel, turning white.

"Well, he-Frank-"

"Mikey."

"Frank was hit by a truck, and hard. It wasn't an accident, he walked out there. He wanted to be hit. And, Mom and Dad said he tried to run beforehand and they lost sight of him and−Frank could be dying right now, Gerard," He said, not once turning to look at me as both of us shook. I inhaled a shaky breath, my own hands clenching, along with my jaw.

"Let's get to the airport, then."

"Yea, I'm just so glad they let you leave. I don't know what I, what you, would have done if you couldn't go see him. Matt's just really nice and made a deal with his boss, and because you and your friend, Dewees, right? Yea. Because both of you made a really good impression on the doctors and nurses and everything, Dewees was able to give some sort of hint that you needed a little extra help. They thought you deserved it, and honestly, you do. Honestly, this is all my fault, Gee. If I hadn't dragged you all the way across the country, then maybe Frank wouldn't have gotten depressed and tried to kill himself." Mikey began to rant on and on, but I'd stopped listening after those two words.

He tried to kill himself. And I couldn't be there to stop it.

I wanted to scream and I wanted to never stop. I wanted to dive out the window at that moment, but I just knew I couldn't. Frank needed me more than ever, and I could feel his sorrow from this far away.

We, luckily, got to the airport quickly. Mikey knew the way well that time, so there was a more direct route. Majority of the car ride was silent, as we'd tried to put on the radio, but all of the songs made our hearts ache even more than they already were. My heart was holding onto the feeling of it being about to burst from all of the emotions I was feeling at one time. When we actually arrived to the airport, Mikey handed me the tickets he had bought beforehand, saying he bought the directly after he heard the news. We rushed down the terminals, dragging the few bags that I'd decided important along with us, thankful that we got there just as boarding was in progress. The woman taking the tickets kept any conversation and everything short for us, seeing concerned looks and terrified eyes across our faces. Loading on quickly, the plane took off not long after. I didn't take any Xanax before the flight, but my mind was enough to distract me. I would look out the window every so often, getting a few shivers shot down my spine, but I tended to focus my view on the clouds. The way they floated along and around the plane itself almost calmed me down, but thoughts of Frank would constantly flood and invade all calming thoughts. The plane ride seemed to go by faster than expected, much less time seemingly taken than the trip to L.A, but it still wasn't short enough.