My daddy is coming back today. From that place he always goes to. I miss him. Wait here he comes.
"DADDY!" Alec and I scream as we see him coming out of the airplane with his army clothes on. We start running before mommy can catch us and we run into daddy's arms.
"Don't cry daddy" I wipe the tears off of his face with my thumbs and smile as he holds Alec and my hands.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
(Addy is 8)
Daddy came back last week. Emma is sleeping at me again. Her mommy is going to have a baby soon. I also want a baby. Daddy is taking me and Emmy to the ice-rink later and then he's going to take me to my horsie, his name is Legacy he's still a baby like me.
( A month later)
Daddy is leaving today, I don't want him to go. At least he stayed for my birthday.
(Addy is 10)
Dad leaves more than he used to. I just want a normal daddy like everybody else.
(Addy is 13| March 2)
The army came to my house today. They told me that my dad died. At first I could believe them. Then they gave my mom a jar with ash in. Then I realised that they were serious and that my mom was holding my dad her a jar.
I feel a lump in my throat. Everything starts going blurry. It's getting hard to breathe.
I feel the cold wooden floor on my knees, then my shoulders then on my cheek . As the tears stream down the side of my face. Everything starts going numb . My sobs muffled. The only things I feel is my heart being squeezed and my lungs gasping for air. It feels like somebody just ripped my heart out. I can feel Uncle Wayne picking me up off of the floor and carrying me to my bed. Emma climbs in next to me and puts my hair into a plait. For hours we cried. I cant believe that my dad is dead. I start seeing black dots everywhere and soon I am fast asleep thinking about my dad.
(The next morning)
Emma was still there when I woke up. My dad was still in the jar my brother is nowhere to be seen. This can't be right. No my dad is still in Afghanistan. The military probably got confused with us and another family. I walk downstairs with Emma hand in hand. I go to the land line and dial my dads number. No answer . I try again. I'm going to keep trying until he answers.
( Three days after they found out)
Why. WHY did he have to die. Yes I am angry. I'm angry at God for making him die. I'm angry at my dad for leaving. And I'm mad at my mom for allowing him to go.
(The day thereafter)
Please God, I'm sorry for being angry at you, I'm sorry for yelling at my mom. Please just bring him back. I wont ever shout again I will keep my grades up. Please God please bring him back to me.
(The funeral | March 12 )
I am numb. They are going to bury an empty casket.
As they start to lower the casket, my mom puts a red rose in I put a white daisy in. I think about all the times I did see him. I thought about what he was like. I realised that I would never feel his warm hugs again, I realised that I'm never going to see his beautiful eyes or his smile ever again. I realised that my whole entire world just fell to pieces and that its never going to get better.
(April 18)
It's been more than a month. I find that I can't sleep much because everytime I close my eyes I see his casket. When I do sleep I sleep for 10 or more hours and I struggle getting up. I don't eat much anymore, I'm never really that hungry.
(May 18)
Been more than two months. Lately I've been getting more fatigued and back pains than I used to.
(July 29)
I stopped counting how long its been. I find it hard to focus on one thing.
(September 9)
Darren, a senior, invited me to go to a party and I'm tired of sitting around I'm gonna go.
(September 10- 2011)
What Darren didn't tell me was that it was a trance party. My drink got spiked and by the time we left we were both so drunk we could barely walk straight. He got onto his motorbike first and I soon followed.
(September 15)
I've been going with Darren to parties every weekend and we get wasted. I get onto the bike after him and we start driving home. I see a bright light from my left hand side. Its a minivan and its not stopping. Next thing I can feel Is pain coursing through my body. Black spots cloud my vision.
I wake up to beeping and bright lights. As I open my eyes I try moving but pain stopped me.
"ADALINE-KAI PARKER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" I'm greeted by my brother.
"Where's mom ?"
"Oh my God" mom sticks her head out the door " DOCTORS SHE'S AWAKE" she yells at the poor doctors
"Adalynne-Kai Parker what on earth were you thinking?"
(a weeks later)
They assigned me a psychologist. According to my shrink I'm depressed.
