dark places - jb & ag {completed}

{sixteen}

Sleep wouldn't come. No matter how hard I tried, it just wouldn't.

It was understandable. How could I sleep, how could my mind find any kind of rest, when my thoughts were just about to drive me crazy? How could I find any kind of comfort when my heartbeats were racing against each other, thumping hard against my ears, along with Justin's steady ones that I was able to hear clearly as I lay on top of him in the sky.

The thought of how humans were in danger was enough to keep me fully alert; not only that, no, I felt as if my blood was boiling inside of me. The need to run and just – do something was so great that I felt every inch of my body aching. Though I had no idea what to do or where to go, I just couldn't help the need inside of me.

The need to help, to protect, to save.

I turned my head to the other side over Justin's chest, sighing. His skin felt so soft and incredibly warm, but it was hard like marble, tight and all muscles. I wanted to stay there forever, over his chest, enjoying his warmth and the sound of his even breaths and heartbeats. But the thoughts in my head were blocking me from truly getting lost in the feel of his arms. He hugged me to his body protectively, his wings spread on either side on us, looking larger than I'd ever seen them before, yet utterly beautiful and amazingly strong.

I wanted to reach out and touch them, but I didn't want to disturb Justin even more than I already was, so I refrained.

With another sigh, I closed my eyes in another attempt to get some sleep – not that I wanted it or felt the need to sleep. No. I just wanted to pass the time until Justin awakened.

When I closed my eyes, I tried to rest my mind. I tried not to think of this new need to do something to prevent Justin's kind from hurting humans any more. It was really hard. Almost impossible.

I thought about Sophie, and what Mathew had said. He had said that the secret to growing black wings was to hate. I couldn't imagine Sophie possibly hating anyone, or anything. She was the most pure and loving person I knew – how could she hate so much that it'd help her become a demon? It was beyond my understanding.

My thoughts of Sophie and how loving she was made me think of my mother, how she was as loving and kind, and how good it felt to see her in that dream I'd had the other night.

I smiled lightly, and right then, something changed behind my closed lids. Darkness changed to light, bright like the sunshine and sparkling stars, and when the light was gone – I again found myself in the same place I'd seen in my dream. I found myself walking in green, wide lands, this time with the knowledge of where I should go. This time I knew whom I would find, and when I found her – I smiled brightly, and called, "Mom!"

Something felt strange. I opened my eyes and everything was gone, darkness was present again, and Justin's steady heartbeats rang softly in my ear. I couldn't understand what that was. I wasn't asleep. I knew I hadn't fallen asleep, I was fully awake. But how could I see those things so clearly? It wasn't just thoughts – that much I was very aware of.

I closed my eyes again, thinking of my mother just like I'd done a minute ago, and there I was again, among bright lights and then green lands, and at the end there was my mother.

This time I was very sure I wasn't asleep, because though I could feel my legs walking, and I could see with my own eyes as the form of my mother neared as I walked toward her, I was still able to hear Justin's heartbeats and breaths. I was still able to feel his hard chest and the warmth his body had always offered my own.

Those facts made me realize one thing – what I was seeing was like a vision, though I had no clue if visions played out that way. It was me seeing this, not another person, and I was even in the same clothes. When my mother turned and looked me in the eyes, I knew that it was something other than a vision, because she could see me, as well.