"How do people expect me to be so happy when all they do is criticise me?" I think to myself slamming my bedroom door behind me and locking it with the cold metal key. I throw myself onto my bed and curl into a ball. A small salty tear runs down my cheek. I look at my drawer and climb off my bed.
I pull my drawer open and find a small green container. I open it up and see a shiny metal blade sitting there. I place my cold fingers around it and slide it across the pale skin on my stomach several times as I cry. I go into the bathroom and clean up the scarlet blood. That felt better. I wash my face and get dressed.
I walk downstairs again with my lips twisted into a fake smile. I see my mom, who was shouting at me for not trying hard enough a second ago, smiling back at me. "I'm going out." I say to her, trying to prevent my voice shaking. "With who?" She asks curiously. "Myself." I reply and leave the house with my warm blue hoodie zipped up and my arms hidden in the sleeves.
As I am walking I see a group of people around my age. One of the boys looks over at me. "Fatty!" He calls. I put my head down. "Fat. Fat. Fat." He says repeatedly. I bite my lip to try hold in my tears and keep walking. Eventually, I get away from them and reach the shopping center.
The automatic door opens and I am greeted with a warm wave of air. Busy shoppers, elderly men and women, teenagers and parents with children and toddlers hanging on to their arms and legs rushed in and out of various. I walk to the escalator and go up into the library.
It's always so peaceful here. I browse the shelves of books and I spot a pair of eyes looking at me from the opposite side of the shelf. A pair of blue eyes. The eyes disapper and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and a tall boy with the sparkling blue eyes and dark brown hair is smiling at me. "Um...hi." I say awkwardly. "Hey. I recognise you from somewhere. I don't know where though." He says with a confused look on his face. "Do you live here?" He asks. He nods his head. "Just up the hill. You?" He asks. "Me too. In Broadville." I smile. "Number 59." "19." I say. "Cool. Well I have to go. I'll see you around. I'm Jack by the way." He says and flashes a smile. "I'm Niamh." I say quietly.
I decide it is time to leave as I see elderly men and women placing their newspapers down onto a table and getting up slowly to leave. "Thank you." I say to the librarian as I leave. He gives me a nod and carries on sorting out books into alphabetical order.
