It was all real. Everything that I "dreamed", all my mini blackouts, everything was real. I was just remembering; that's all. Finding out that I'm not going crazy should make me more happy, right? Then why am I so depressed, why do I feel so empty?
But I know why, I just don't want to. I don't want to remember that night. The night when I woke up shivering in the middle of the street. Unaware of the havoc I had caused, I stood there shaking because it was dark, I was alone and I had just woken up from another nightmare. Instead of having "mystery lady", or as I now know, Renna to come take me away to Mrs. Thea's kitchen, I was standing on freezing pavement, which had cut up my feet as I ran. I was so confused. Suddenly, I noticed the fires surrounding me. Licking at the tall, spiraling towers, they continued to climb higher and higher destroying everything they passed. Then I noticed the echoing screams, the shrill cries, the frantic shouts. My little heart turned to stone and dropped. It was my fault. My fault. I did this. Tears of realization stung my eyes as I looked around, watching the terrifying scene unfold before my eyes. Squinting, I noticed a limp body just a few meters away. Frantically, I sprinted towards it. "No," I declared. "No!" I shrieked as I knelt down beside the blank, open eyes of Mrs. Thea. I barely heard the murmur of Renna as she told me it was okay. I was not so easily reassured.
That night I found out I was a monster. Someone to be feared. I was so young but I had already disappointed myself. That's why I didn't try to change my fate when the High Court asked me if I did it. I couldn't stand myself so how could others? The only problem was that the type of magic I used to destroy everything, well let’s just say that it attracts unwanted attention, and Recorpea, our planet, hates attention of any kind. I guess we're kind of a shy people. We watch from the shadows. Observe other civilizations and snatch up their ideas. We don't like it when others notice us.
Execution or banishment. Those were my options. Ironically enough, when the judge asked me which I preferred, I had to get them to explain the words. That's how young I was. After explaining the options further, they gave me time alone to think about it. I had no visitors. I think Renna tried to come once. They wouldn't let her see me. Considering my options, I decided on banishment, since death was very scary to me at that age. In hind sight, execution doesn't look so bad.... My choice and its conditions were announced at the Grand Pavilion as promised. Clearly, the day was very traumatic for me as I can still hear her Majesty's words echoing through my small skull.
"As we were, and still are, all put in danger by the inexplicable and disastrous actions of this young criminal, the entire planet will have to be evacuated immediately. Announcements will be made about which escape shuttles each family will use. The council has already sent out messages to the other city leaders and search droids are on the lookout for those not living in public vicinity. Belongings should be limited to two carriable bags per person. Also, please notify an official if any member of your family has not yet been registered or if your family name is not on the list for a shuttle in the next eight hours. Everyone will be gone by moonshine tomorrow and arriving at our new home, Hiddesh, the following lightshine. Everyone except the one who caused this catastrophe. Miss Klea, “her cool gaze shifted to me, "you will stay here, banished for eternity to suffer the great loss of our planet alone. You will hereby be known as The Forgotten Girl; the girl who rejected her people and was left behind. You will be transported to the outer limits of Carsha in one hour." With that sentence, two guards came to drag me away leaving me to stare, with blurry eyes, at the crowds of people I had let down. The people I would never see again.
I still don't know who "my family" was, since there was no one left on Recorpea but me. I still don't know why I forgot who I really was. I still don't know what to do. All I know is that I'm scared. I'm alone; there is no one for me to turn to and no hope of ever finding anyone. I can't leave and no one will come because, after all, who wants to remember The Forgotten Girl? Filled with hopelessness, I begin to wander the abandoned streets aimlessly. A lone tear leaves a small trail on my cheek, as I stare at the cracked glass in empty shop windows. I watch as the wind picks up a small piece of paper and twirls it in the air. When I pick it up, I see that it’s a grocery list, long abandoned by its creator. Silence sweeps past my ears, eerily ringing in the empty space. I feel like a ghost. A small shadow facing the immense darkness of an empty world. How can I live like this? How can I live another day, knowing that the next is just another struggle with pain so that I can wake up the next morning and do it again? Suddenly, my thoughts are too loud and too dangerous. I sprint, trying to leave everything behind but the echoing sound of my own footsteps reminds me that there is nowhere to hide from you. I continue to run anyway. The horrific scenery around me starts to blur as I leap over debris. Faster, faster! I have to go faster, until everything disappears. Until I can't see anything anymore and then maybe I'll forget just like everyone else. Abruptly, I feel myself falling. Pain clouds my thoughts as I skid across the crumbling pavement. For an instant, I can't move but slowly I gather myself together and curl up inside. I am numb.
Beep. Beep. Beep. I raise my aching head in confusion. What is that? I listen carefully. Silence and then; Beep, Beep, Beep. There it is again! I pick myself up, unable to keep my curiosity at bay. Following the repetitive noise, I finally come across a large building, which I determine must be where the sound is coming from. As I head for the double, metal doors, I take a deep breath. Once the doors are open the 'beeps' are a lot easier to hear. Surprisingly, the inside of the building is very plain and orderly. The floors are white tile and the walls are light grey. Desks and comfortable-looking chairs fill the space. I walk towards the only other set of doors in the room. Opening them, I see that they lead to a long narrow hallway, undecorated by any pictures or color. I follow the cold, stone floor towards the insistent sound. Just before the hallway opens up, I see a pale, greenish light shine on the walls in front of me and then disappear. When the next set of 'beeps' start again, the light reappears. Then I arrive in the space the hall leads to. The entire wall across from me is filled with empty metal chambers; each one has a small red light beside it. They stretch as far as I can see on my left and right. I think these must be where the escape shuttles were. But wait, where is the beeping sound coming from? My heart swells with hope, is it possible? Is there one left? I stumble down the corridor to my right. If it's there, I should see it soon. As I go farther and farther with nothing out of the ordinary, my heart begins to thump wildly in my chest. And then I see it. There is one shuttle left and I am looking at it. There is still hope.
I inch my way closer and closer. What if this is just another dream? What if I wake up now? I reach my hand out, and it collides with cold, solid metal. This is real. Taking another shaky breath, I open the sealed door of the compartment and step in. On one side of the small space is a black screen. I give it a light tap and it glows to life.
"System check complete," a robotic voice announces, making me jump. I press yes. "All passengers ready for take-off,” the voice comes back. I hover over the 'yes' and then quickly tap it. "Please start ignition process and stay calm during take-off. All safety procotions are necessary until three minutes after breaking the surface." I press the glowing green button and feel my stomach flop as the computerized voice counts down painstakingly slow. "Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. The room starts to rumble and I hear a loud squeal. Next thing I know, the whole thing is shooting forwards and my vision is getting blurry. I feel my world going black but this time I let it. I am not remembering the past this time, I am going to a better future.
