The Walls that Separate our Worlds

1 Step at a Time

How do you try to help your friends out when you know the only way that will cure them is with medical help? How do you tell your mum you're a murderer? How are you supposed to react to seeing, like, 50 people all starving with malnutrition lined up in a cemetery making their way through to a place that they have been dreaming about for years? How do you explain to your three year old little sister about why she found blood on my white t-shirt? When your friend says happy nineteenth birthday to you and you just stand there, shocked at how she remembered and how insignificant it is too me. Was I supposed to be happy or sad? Happy that I'd made it this far. Or sad that I was only nineteen and had already killed three people, was trying to survive every day off of very poor food, trying to provide for my family and friends, as well as keeping them safe, but, I had lost that magic you got when you were little and it was your birthday, it no longer meant anything to me, it was only a day, one day, exactly the same as the rest, people were dying, people were being born, going about their normal day with no concern about you or no knowledge that you even exist.

At least Fi was trying. She had cleaned up the garden although in doing so she has set off several of my tripwires, and nearly had her arm sliced off, although I pretend not to care I do wonder how we are going to survive this. Tyson has been helping too... ish. When he isn't sulking or as he calls it 'thinking' he is trying to take control of every situation, almost like he's trying to make up for how useless he was back in Gaia. But it only ends up with me growling at him to shut up and get back to work. He's had to build up some muscle pretty quickly too, he is our muscles... unfortunately. If I physically could I would do everything myself. Mum is trying to make an effort to clean and stuff, but she doesn't get very far before she gets tired. Little Imogen has taken very greatly to Fi and Tyson and loves 'helping' them whenever she can. Fi has also been teaching Imogen her alphabet; she's learning fast too, I guess it would be good to try to get somewhat of an education.