RED

Chapter 5

I never loved you Sam. I never will.

I never loved you Sam. I never will.

I never loved you Sam. I never will.

Shit. Can I just die?

"That autistic son of a goddamn bitch!? How the hell can he do this?! I can't believe it!?!" Lovelle said for the nth time.

She's been cursing the-one-who-should-never-be-named nonstop after she dragged me back to our room. I can hear her but I can't retain anything that she has said. His voice and the last thing he said keep on playing inside my head.

"Don't dare he show his face to me again! Or I swear this Samantha! I swear that he'll wake up in a hospital bed losing some of his brain! I swear th-- Samantha! Are you even listening to me?!"

She stopped pacing around our room and looked at my direction disbelievingly. Who would not, if you kept on cursing your best friend's ex for the last half an hour, and your best friend was just sitting on her bed looking at you but her mind was obviously somewhere else. I'm sorry but I can't help it. I don't even know what I should do. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm seriously lost since he left me broken.

"Samantha?!" Lovelle shouted at me.

"Huh?"

"Oh crap! Have you lost your mind? You're out of your senses! Snap out of your trance, Samantha! Can you feel anything?! Your ex pig of a boyfriend just cheated on you!"

"Lovelle..."

"Yes? What is it?" She snapped.

"I-I can't feel anything... I can't feel anything. W-what's happening to m-me? Lovelle, what is wrong with me?"

I don't know what is happening to me. I can't seem to feel anything, no anger, no pain, nothing. I feel numb. I should be crying right now right? I should be angry and hurt. But I can't feel anything, not even a single emotion.

"Lovelle! I-I don't know what to feel... Should I cry? I should be mad at him-at them right?" I asked her.

She was just looking at me, confused at what I am acting. Then that looked transformed into pity. She rushed towards me and kneeled in front of me so she can look me in the eyes.

"Sam, just breathe. Let your heart feel, not your mind. Just please stop over thinking. J-just feel."

I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath. And everything came like a strong cold wave that washed over me. I started crying. I started feeling again. I can feel the pain, the anger, the sorrow, the regret, the disgust. I started remembering everything that I and Red did together. The places we went to. The things he said to me. The moments that he made me feel loved.

"I d-don't, I can't understand! He s-said he l-loves me! H-he showed it to m-me! He m-made me feel his l-love for me Lovelle! And I felt the love, I felt his love! B-but everything was just an act! Everything was just a lie!"

I screamed. Lovelle didn't say anything. She just embraced me while I'm crying.

"Cry Sam. Let it all out. Don't let anything be left behind..." She said still hugging me after I screamed.