A monarch is not just a butterfly. It is also a sovereign head of state. My friend and I came up with ANOTHER definition. We didn't like being called "Teenagers" and we didn't want to be called "Young women" either. So we came up with Monarchs. A wo...
Have you ever felt... empty. Like you are just a living shadow? Do you feel disgusting inside and nothing can fill you? I have had that feeling so many times that I don't know what to do about it.
It usually happens when I indulge in something else. And it definitely happens when that "thing" I indulge in happens to be something that doesn't please Him.
Some of these include some fan fictions or shipping. Also, TV shows and movies.
I just don't know how to fill myself up again. When I try to look up an answer, people will tell me what I'm supposed to do but, they don't tell me HOW to do it. And let me just tell you... that's incredibly annoying.
Right now, worship is really working. At this very second I have worship playing. Singing and praising him really fills me. Since I am a teenager (16 years old) I can identify with a teenager spirit. I have come to find that music means SO MUCH to me. I have also found that most teenagers feel the same way.
Music is a huge part of our lives and I think God knew this so he blessed us with talented musicians and happy folks we can worship WITH.
I REALLY feel full when I can relate to the song I am singing. I can't tell you how full it makes me. And then singing about triumph. When I sing about God triumphing or singing about Heaven and how CLOSE we are to being there, I just am filled with happiness.
I almost put joy! However, I can't say that it feels me with joy because that happiness unfortunately doesn't last.
Happiness is temporary where as joy is permanent. I am told that praising God's name will give me joy and I have yet to experience that. My goal right now is to be able to feel full joy.
What does Joy feel like? That's what I want, I want it SO BAD!
Before I leave you, I want to address one more thing.
When.
When do we feel empty?
I kinda talked about it in the second paragraph, but I want to expand on that. I find that I feel empty after I have done something I REAAAAALLLY like. As an example, I will use shipping.
Do y'all know what shipping is?
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That's what shipping is. I like taking two characters (male and female) from my favorite movies or TV shows and place them together in a romantic relationship. Ha ha ha...I just thought of all my OTPs walking in pairs onto Noah's ark.
Oh my gosh, that's terrible! I gotta stop! Don't you just hate it when you put light and dark together? Blech!
Anyway, I get so carried away in looking at pictures on Pinterest of my favorite ships. But, afterward, I always end up feeling empty. You know why? Because those pictures don't change or fill me. They just sit on my boards doing NOTHING! I think to myself,
Okay then, if this doesn't fill me, I'll go read a fanfiction about them.
Wait that didn't work
Okay maybe I'll find a video on Youtube about them
Nope that didn't work either
See what I mean? That will NEVER fill me. EVER!
Now don't ask what I do to get rid of this feeling.....As I said before...I HAVE NO CLUE! I am still waiting for God's joy and filling to wash over me someday.
