Soundtrack.

Wrecking Ball.

It's been six weeks since the break up and he's still on my mind all the time. His words haunting me. 'You didn't care, you just walked away from me.' I did care, I still do. The breakup was mostly caused my my caring.

We started of so cliché, like a cheesy movie that people pretend not to like but then re watch on Netflix when no ones around to see them cry.

It all started with a kiss. One amazing kiss that had me enchanted by him, as if I was under his spell. I was so in love that it practically radiated from me and from him. So sickeningly in love that we were known as Emily and Charlie, the two were so serendipitous that nothing else mattered.

The happiness only lasted a few months. Charlie was unhappy, getting worse but every time I asked he'd avoid the question. Pretending that everything was okay. When it wasn't.

Secrets. He had so many and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't confide in me. Was I not good enough. Untrustworthy. I remember getting so angry, so insecure because of it all and getting more and more frustrated until I reached breaking point. His secrets were tearing me apart. Wrecking me.

I exploded.

Confronting him forcefully about his problems, I didn't let him run away from the conversation. Abusing him verbally relentlessly, not caring that he was hurting. I was a ball of raw emotions crashing into him. A wrecking ball.

"If you loved me then you'd talk to me, you don't love me." I'd said to him just before I walked away. Tears were streaming from my eyes then. Just as they are now.

Now that I realise that I should have just left him to himself and support him through it. He would've talked when he was ready but I ruined it all, everything we had between us.

I've tried so many times to talk to Charlie. Now I know how wrong I was. To convince him to take me back and explain to him that I did care about him, tell him that I just wanted him to let his guard down. But it's too late now. He thinks I just walked away, having never loved him.

I tried to break his walls when I should of just let them crumble away. I broke his trust. We wrecked each other and now nothing can fix us.

I wish I could talk to him properly again. Even if it's only one more time just to say. I didn't just walk away from him, and I will always love him. I will always want him. He won't believe me though. I know it, he won't even try to listen.

It's been six weeks and I need to move on. Stop thinking about what we could've been if we hadn't wrecked ourselves so blindly.

Song: Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.