Intimacy

IV

I didn't see Adam again. The afternoon passed in a daze. Luckily I didn't have any classes with Jill either, someone I was all too happy to avoid. It was a small miracle none of the teachers called me out on my obvious lack of attention. Probably chalked it up to first day jitters. If only.

My thoughts centered on the same person they centered on all weekend, and my feelings were a snarled knot in my chest. The sensation of betrayal sank its teeth into my skin and gnawed at me. Except...

We weren't dating, not really. We hung out once, shared a couple beautiful hours in the sun soaked woods. We hadn't even kissed. My cheeks burned at the thought. I couldn't reconcile the Adam I knew with the blonde girl in Jill's picture. In my mind they were two different people. By last period I'd managed to nibble all my fingernails to the quick, a nervous habit I hadn't done in months.

What was I going to do?

By the time the bus dropped me off at the corner of my street, I had no answers. I kept walking passed my front door. Mom wouldn't be home until late and I didn't want to sit in an empty house. I wandered without direction and found myself at the mossy bridge.

I stared into the woods, debating to myself if I should go in on the off chance of finding Adam there. He did say he frequented the place. Would he talk to me? He wouldn't even look at me in the cafeteria.

I talked myself out of going in when I saw a flash of movement through the trees, a fleeting glimpse of blue flannel. My feet were already moving. I ran into the forest, the blue flowers brushing against my ankles from the fringe of the path. I couldn't have been that far from him, but I didn't see him anywhere. Where was he? Was I seeing things?

Far through the trees was another fleeting blur of blue, much further than I thought possible.

"Adam?" I called, soft and uncertain. The figure didn't pause, vanishing further through the trees. I ran after him, breathing hard by the time I reached the spot, but he was nowhere to be found.

Frustrated, I turned to leave and realized I'd strayed off the path. Actually, I couldn't see the path at all. Nothing but moss coated trees and blue flowers. I swallowed down a jolt of panic. The forest couldn't be that big. It was nothing but a swathe of trees between Rothsdale and the next town over. No matter what direction I picked, eventually I'd come out of the woods. I turned toward what I hoped was the direction of my house and started walking.

A hour later, I was still deep in the woods. There was nothing through the gaps between trunks except more trees. I was also miserably thirsty and sweaty. What the heck was I thinking running in here, chasing a blue hallucination? I pushed through a low tangle of bushes and promptly stepped in water. I stared, taking in the scene in front of me.

I'd stumbled upon a naturally constructed pool, a series of short waterfalls entering and leaving, tumbling over heaps of stones that stopped up enough water for a fairly deep pool. There was a small island at the center, where a large willow tree trailed its curtain of branches across the surface.

"Beautiful," I said, kneeling beside the small waterfall that fed down into the pool. It was crystal clear and moving water was safer to drink in a pinch than stagnant. I'd risk it. I sipped a handful, savoring the cold sweet taste of it. I couldn't remember anything tasting so good. Deciding to take a rest before I threw myself back into the woods, I stripped off my shoes and dangled my feet in the pool.

I sighed as the ache in my calves melted away. The willow and surrounding trees reflected a warm green that soothed the warped mess of emotions that built up through the day.

I stared out over the water, wondering if I could find this spot again to show Adam...

Right back where I started.