Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. My alarm rang through the clear night. I slapped it instantly, shutting the annoying ringtone that stuck in my head throughout the day. Last night, well frankly I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about Zayn. His dark eyes always stuck out in my mind, as if God or somebody up in the heavens was trying to tell me something. I groaned as I stared at the ceiling. Day 2 of hell, but I was actually looking forward to it. I knew Zayn was going today, which that was something to look forward to. He told me we had almost every class together, except math which frankly nobody bothered me in. We had all other classes together.
"Amber!" My mom shouts, waking me up even more. What the fuck.
"What?" I shout back.
"Zayn is here!" Shit shit shit shit. I hear footsteps come up to my room and I panic. I'm an ugly girl and even uglier without makeup on. And even uglier at 7 am in the morning. Why the fuck was he here? I hear a knocking on my door.
"Hey babe." Zayn's voice floats from under my door, causing my nerves to pluck.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Sorry about earlier I just didn't want you to see me." I blush, looking down.
"Why?" He asks, clutching the steering wheel. Today he decided to wing it with an all black outfit. He looked good.
"I'm ugly in the morning. I'm really sorry-"
"Shut the fuck up." He swore at me, cutting me off. I quickly gave him a dirty look.
"Excuse me?"
"I said shut the fuck up. You're beautiful." He shakes his head as we pull into the parking-lot of the school. We sit in there for a moment, silence choking us. Zayn cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to be rude but it just bothered me that you said that about yourself." He shook his head before unbuckling.
"I'm sorry. It's just I don't see anything beautiful in me." I shake my head in harmony with him and I look up at him, his eyes clear with an answer.
"It's sick to think that some people have to drill negative thoughts into others minds." And that was that.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What the fuck?" Melandy shouts as I walk in with Zayn. "Why the fuck you with her?" She asks him, and he grunts.
"Yeah she's fucked up. I heard she almost jumped off the bridge. I wish she did...." Jack trailed off and Zayn growled.
"Don't say that to her." He looked at Jack with a mean, burning look. I looked down and felt a hand on my chest. "C'mon babe, you don't deserve this. Let's go." I nodded as Zayn led me to my locker.
"Thanks Zayn." I look down, pressing my fingernails into my wrist.
"Why are you doing that to your wrist?" I look down at my wrist, hoping it would bleed. I was twisted inside. I was a monster. I didn't deserve to live and breathe. "C'mon we are going home."
"No I can't miss class." I said with a straight voice, as if nothing was wrong.
"Amber. Look at you."
"Look at me? Yeah I know I'm a fucking piece of shit." I curse, not bothering to care. I wanted to die.
"Amber don't say that. Bloody hell, we're going home whether you like it or not." Zayn growled, fighting back against me. I knew I would lose, but for some reason I kept fighting.
"No."
"I don't give a fuck what you think. We're going home." Zayn raised his voice a bit, causing a bit of a scene.
"Aw, the cute couple is fighting already." I heard Melandy's voice beside us and I didn't bother to look up. I pushed harder and harder into my wrist.
"Can you just fuck off?" Zayn yelled at her. I looked up to see Jack beside Melandy.
"Don't tell that to my girlfriend." Jack rolled his eyes at Zayn before looking at me. "At least my girlfriend isn't a wreck."
"We aren't dating." Zayn punched the locker beside me and looked down at me angrily. "C'mon." He grabbed my arm and I didn't object. I followed him out the door, knowing if I kept fighting him he would probably punch me or something. "Show me your wrist." He commanded as I buckled my seatbelt.
"What?" I asked, acting stupid.
"Show me your wrist."
"Why?"
"Cause I care." I groaned and cringed as I rolled up my jacket sleeve, showing off my scars. 1....2....3.... and counting scars was on my arm. I looked up at Zayn and he was frozen.
"I'm a disappointment I know." I looked on as Zayn grabbed my arm, raising my ripped up arm to his lips. He was kissing them, one by one. His soft lips sucking the hurt away. I felt tears run down to my chin, trying to win a sort of race. When he reached the last one, he took his time. When he finished, he looked up at me, tears in his eyes. He stared at my arm.
"Why do you hurt yourself like this?" He asked softly, staring at my arm. He looked shocked, and saddened.
"I do it because I want to die." I sniffle in my tears, before they continue flowing.
"You don't deserve this. I may not know you well, but you don't deserve this. Nobody does." He opens his mouth to say more, but chokes up. I bite my lip to stop from breaking down. He looked up at me, his eyes red.
"I'm sorry." I look away from his eyes but he pulls me back in, forcing me to look back at him.
"You're never cutting again." He says before placing my arm down.
"But I have to cut. I like it." He looked at me, hurt. He looked at me as if I just cursed his whole family to die.
"You like it?"
"Yeah. So what?" I watched as he fumbled to open my bookbag. He took out a pen and scribbled his name on my wrist.
"Everytime you cut, you'll be cutting me." I cringed.
"Zayn.... Please don't do this to me." I cried out even harder.
"You can do this Amber. I may not know you well but I promise you, today is your day. We will get to know each other." He looked at me with promise.
"I don't know if I can." I shake my head and he buckled himself into his seat.
"We are going to my house. Buckle up."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I couldn't sleep so BAM. And also, if this story gets to 40 reads by Tuesday I will write personal imagines on here. You can give me a plot and a boy and your name and bam I will write you a masterpiece. Not really but I'll try.
But importantly thank you for reading this story it means a lot. I hope that some of you can relate, even if Zayn wasn't the one to save you. If it was Harry, Michael, Louis, Niall, Liam, Ashton, Calum, or Luke Hemmings then I think you all could relate. Or if it was the janoskians or hell, even the Jonas brothers or some other band or person. The point is I'm proud of you guys for not cutting.
Love, Amber
