“Time to go to bed, big guy,” Drake called out to five-year-old Daniel. They have just finished watching a movie that Daniel liked so much. It seemed like the only way to keep him busy and from asking Drake questions that he didn’t have answers to.
Daniel was still sitting motionless in front of the TV, so Drake decided to approach his son and sit beside him on the sofa.
“What’s the matter?” he asked as he stroked Daniel’s hair. But of course he knew what the matter was. How could he not?
“Dad,” Daniel said as he faced his father, “when is mom coming back?”
His face was so sad and so innocent it almost broke Drake’s heart. He put his arms around Daniel’s small body and stayed like that for what felt like hours, trying to find the right words to tell his son that his mom wasn’t coming back. In the past week, he’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Daniel the truth. But he was so young and fragile, and he didn’t even know if he would understand. He couldn’t do that to him. But he knew that eventually, Daniel will know. And he had the right to know.
“Daniel, do you want to hear a story?” Drake asked.
Daniel gave him a puzzled look then nodded.
“Let’s get you to bed first,” Drake smiled, and he led Daniel to his room, his chest heavier than it had been lately.
When Daniel was finally lying on his bed, his toy car that his mom gave him on his birthday beside him, Drake sat on the side of the bed.
“What’s the story about, Dad?” Daniel asked.
“A little impatient, aren’t you?” Drake said, giving his son a small smile.
Then he started telling the story, staring at his hands while he spoke. Daniel inched closer to his father, listening.
“When I was a kid like you, I would sit on a bench by the shore near our house. People liked to go there, especially during the sunset,” Drake said. “I’ve always liked the sound of the water, the people chattering, the orange sky, the smell of popcorn in the distance. It was where I run to when I felt bad.”
Drake liked it there. Sometimes, he would watch the couples talking and drinking, laughing, exchanging hugs and kisses. He had always wondered what it would be like for him when he grew up, what kind of girl he would meet someday and marry.
He took a glance at Daniel who was listening thoughtfully. He went on.
“Then one day, when I was 16, I saw her there. She was the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen,” he said. “Since then, I’ve always waited for her to visit that place, until I finally got the courage to approach her and ask her name.”
Drake would never forget how they became friends or the way her eyes shone whenever she looked at him. He could still recall the teasing smile she gave him when she caught him staring at her and said, “Why are you staring at me? Let me guess. You’re in love with me.”
Drake took a deep breath and continued.
“Years passed. We drank, we broke the rules. We stayed like that for a long time. But one morning, I just woke up thinking that I couldn’t afford to lose her anymore, that I need her in my life. I didn’t want to ever let her go.”
Tears are forming in his eyes, but he blinked a few times to stop them from falling. He could do this. He had to. “That was the day I asked her to marry me.”
Daniel blinked, confused why his dad was telling him this. He was about to ask when Drake spoke.
“Daniel,” he said, “Life can do terrible things.”
Drake didn’t want his son to get hurt like he did then. He’d give anything to protect his son from the pain that the future might bring.
“Dad, why—“
“We got married. Then we had you,” he continued, ignoring Daniel’s unfinished question. “One day, she came home and asked me if she could talk to me.”
His voice shook.
“I knew that something serious was happening because of the tone of her voice. She was always happy and cheerful, but on that day, she looked… different,” Drake said, not even trying to hide his tears now. “Then she spoke, and it was as if she stabbed me in my chest.”
Daniel was crying now, too. He rarely saw his dad cry, and even if he didn’t know exactly yet why he was crying, it pains him to see his dad hurting.
“She said, ‘I’m sick, Drake. I’m dying,’” Drake said, trying to stifle a sob.
He wouldn’t ever forget how she cried in his arms as she whispered, “Please, don’t be sad.”
But he was sad. He was much more than sad. He was wrecked, miserable.
The next thing she said to him in that moment was what he will always remember for the rest of his life, the only thing that he could hold on to. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
For a very long time that night, Drake and Daniel cried together, both wrapped up in a tight embrace.
