My Y (A Zayn Malik Fanfiction) *Completed*

'A Talk to nowhere'

"We were strangers when we met and we were strangers when you left"

Listen to 'Early morning strangers' by Cher
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Chapter 3 'A Talk to Nowhere'

Waking L up:
"Luke wake up."
I pushed him hard, he move back and forth, then returned to his pillow covered with a pool of drool. Ew.

Waking L up (continues):
I know He was an expert at doing this. Sleeping like a dead owl. I had to do sonething or I swear I will be late which I dont wanna be. Not today atleast. What if I got late? Plus excuse of Luke being asleep is extremely dumb. God no.

I headed towards the kitchen. Everything was a mess there. I know he was awake at night cooking here miserably. Fetching a jug of cold water which I presume was too cold it could rupture your veins in a second, I made my move. What could he possibly react with. A scream? No he's too old for this. I raised my arm and tilted the jar. The moment it reached his forehead and then his entire shirt, he jumped and by jumped I mean an actual spooky shift.

"What the hell Jess? "

"You were just not worthy of my words" I replied dramatically which teased him off more.

"Fine. Wait I am coming." he asked while rufling his wet hairs and wet shirt and yeah wet PJ's.

After a minute or two, he came with his hair perfectly set up with all those rare hair products he use. I swear I haven't heard a single name of any of his products. I heard he went to a holiday with bunch of his bestfriends who are probably scattered in this entire Luke world. And there he ended up using gel and some actual weird stuff on his hair with his so called 'chums'.
Luke drove the car swiftly. We practically dont go to the same college. He's not even in college, still cuddled between the high school bullshit. I graduated from the same school. Its awful in every term although Luke never agrees maybe because life showed a little mercy on him.

We reached my college's building after a couple of minutes. I wasn't even out of the car when I heard voices hurled towards us and by us I mean Luke. Did I mentioned that before? He's not just hey-will-you-be-my-friend guy in his own territory but is already raiding mine. I didn't even bothered looking there and went promptly towards the campus. Not that I was jealous of him, I just had envy against life. It blesses some with infintiy and takes from some without realising they are probably left with nothing, not even hope.

I toured an eye over my lecture sheet. It's physocology. The only period I find the person right infornt of me interpreting what I felt, was feeling and want to feel. I entered the class to find a large bunch of students glaring at me. I looked down as I always does just to make myself inconsiderable to others. Mr. Hudston stood there, smiled at me.

"Late Miss Barmada?" He asked, lifting one of his bushy eyebrows.

I nodded and took my seat without wasting a single minute. I just dont want to end up telling him that I got late as I was pulling out some waking up experiments on my brother.

"So today we are negotiating and navigating the worlds of depression in other words anxiety..." he scribbled the word DEPRESSION on the board while the others whispered murmurs of despair.

"I want to hear you people.. I want to know what is depression to you. Why do you think it overcomes a person and his personality?" He finished his words and starting glaring at us with his round firece eyes.

This is actually the time when he expect us to confront his unbearable yet discomforting looks and answer him. I looked down digging my pen in one of the unfortunate pages of my notepad. People started telling what they felt or expressing their views, earning Mr Hudson's displeasure or his signature sceptical smiles.

One voice.

"Depression practically sucks. It makes people SUS!!"
That was probably the guy from Africa. He has nothing but to use slang in class and get an extensive lecture from Professor after the class.

"That's not a contribution to a healthy convsrsation Mr Lou, Meet me after the class"

Told you.

Another voice.

"Depression bites a person everytime he overthinks. It's practically a killing machine"

This particular person earned Professor's nod. Usual nod.

After a number of more muffled voices, I could feel being locked under someone's stares. My heart started beating fast that was obnoxious apparently.

'Why dont we hear something from Miss Barmada? '

Bile rose in my throat. I looked up at him who was already smiling goofily at me. Why was he acting so ecstatic? It's depression, Remember?

'Um.. depression is.. ' And then a sudden flashback of too many events collided through the walls of my brain. Every single thing appeared in front of me. The accusation, the body and the tears. I knew what it was.

"It's a state of various emotions jolted with one another. It's like a betrayal of a promise.." I spoke reluctantly.

My mother's face scooted in front of me, always promising.

'Like the breakage of something so valuable something replicating trust' I continued though I know I couldn't resist the temptation to crumble the entire world with all the abhorrence I had against her.
I could feel her face showered with puddles of guilt and selfishness in my mind.

'Like a shattering of soul.'

'Like blessing someone with accusations..'

I continued saying whatever got hilucinated in my big junky brain.

'Like nothing but dismay, nothing but feeling dejected and nothing but being rejected...' A tear escaped my eye, a despondent ending to whatever shit I was babbling.

I stopped. Stopped myself from revealing and getting into the eerie past. I pushed the brakes of my pixilated mind and stopped. The whole class was silent, like they visited my world more than I did. Professor gave me a smile, why did I found it sympathetic?

"Anyone would like to speak to that?" He said.

The class remained as silent as graveyard until I felt a voice reached my ears.

'Why do we even tend to remember it? It's a useless remembrance of what your past contains, why it rejected you or why it made you dejected'

It was a soft demanding voice. I knew from the selection of the same words as I chose that it directed me. His words coupled with mine turned to me. I didn't turned back but replied maybe because I was too engrossed in what I feel or too protective of my theory.

'It's not you who remember it, it's the goddamned world that snubs you every single minute of your life, it's the narcissists who make you crawl into your deadly past and answer the questions you regret being asked" I said with a profound voice.

I could feel his smile even though I never dared to look at him or to see who was I arguing the battles of my past with.

"I believe it's your cowardice then. You are too vulnerable or feeble to abstain from what you see or what you hear. You are too endangered by every single thing reacting towards you because You look at every disappointment and look away from every chance of joy" the same softness in his voice struck me.

His words swept away all those murmurs. It poured away gallons of silence. I heard each one of his word. It like it got imprinted in my mind. Every word he said hit me like a dagger or another unanswerable question.

"That was more than a healthy conversation I presume..Will continue tommorow... '

Professor Hudson said, looked at me and the mystery guy one more time and went by. I grabbed my backpack and moved out of the class real quick.

What on earth did just happened? Why cant I control my brain for showering me with endless thoughts?
Screw Me.