Timeless

Entry #15

Location: Memory Gardens Cemetery, New York, U.S.A.

Date: October 05, 2011

It was a cold, rainy day and the winds howled amidst the half-naked branches of the trees scattered throughout the cemetery. Everyone was gathered at the entrance to the chapel, to take refuge from the icy drops falling from the darkened sky. One lonely figure, however, was standing before a pair of graves; her clothes and hair were dripping and the tears of the heavens mixed with her own on her face.

All her father's colleagues from the police force and the CIA had come to the service; Tony and Pepper had come as well; Maria, Natasha and Clint had come along with Coulson; even Fury had shown up... and, of course, Steve had been there with her throughout the whole ordeal.

And as she stared at the twin tombstones before her – each holding a picture of her parents – her mind began roaming on its own, replaying the events of the previous days.

She recalled the moment when her father had finally drawn his last breath; she recalled how utterly destroyed she had felt, as though the entire world had crashed on top of her. For a second she'd believed she would suffocate when her lungs refused to work anymore. But then Steve had approached the bed, and his hand grasping her shoulder had felt like a lifeline that someone had tossed her as she struggled not to drown in a raging ocean.

She recalled looking up to see the sorrow on his face; she recalled lunging into his arms; and she recalled how he had held her so tightly and so protectively – as if he was trying to shield her from her own grief – while her sobs resounded in the empty room, only muffled by the fact that she had buried her face against his neck.

She recalled Tony's stunned expression when he'd entered sometime later, to find Richard dead; she recalled sighting the sincere grief in his eyes... something she'd never witnessed before; she recalled embracing him and feeling him break down into tears in her arms; she recalled how much that had surprised her and how much it had made her feel... attached to him... when she'd realized that Tony had genuinely cared about her father.

But why...? Why did she always have to be the strong one? Why was she always the one who had to put her grief behind and be strong for others? Why couldn't she just be weak for once?

She was so lost in those thoughts that it took her a moment to realize the rain was no longer pouring on her; and even if she'd expected it, it still startled her to see Steve standing next to her, holding an umbrella over her head.

"You don't have to hide your tears..." he said gently. "We already know that you're strong; and there's nothing wrong with crying when you lose someone you love. God knows how much I cried when I lost my parents... or when I lost friends on the battlefield. It's alright to cry..."

"I just... I've always set my own grief aside, because I thought I owed it to others to be strong and move on... to my mother... to Phil... to Nick..."

The feeling of his warm hand brushing against her frozen, wet cheek compelled her to look back up into his azure eyes.

"You also owe it to them to be honest with yourself. And grieving when you should isn't anything unnatural. If you bottle it up, it will just come back one day and destroy you."

When she lowered her eyes and he sighted the way her lips trembled, the young male wrapped an arm around her; almost instantly she latched onto him, breaking down into sobs while he kissed her soaked hair.

"I know you're strong... but you don't have to go through this alone. I'll help you shoulder that burden, if you'll let me."

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