Should I?

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Should I let fear rule me? Let my walls rebuild? No, I should learn to deal but this fear keeps me from moving, forward and back. I'm stuck in the now with no way to escape so how do I understand that everyone has a plan when here I am planless. I'm a broken toy. There's no future, no past and no guarantee that I will survive. Only my thoughts telling me that surviving is all I have left. That the now is a gift but what if this is a gift I want to return and exchange something else? The thoughts tell me it's a nonrefundable gift. That I can't exchange it or regift it. It's mine for life so I'm stuck as a broken toy with no way out or up or down. Only the thoughts to keep me company till I find a plan. Till I find my plan....

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