His Broken Mate

Chapter 15

Elaina's POV

As Xavier continues talking to me, asking what happened, if I was okay, I start crying. Sure, I felt a shitload of relief when I ran away, but guilt has been eating at me ever since I stepped foot outside of his territory.I'm a horrible mate, and a horrible person. My old pack should've killed me. I should just stop existing. I tried committing suicide when I was twelve, but it didn't work, I just ended up in the hospital. I could always try again...

"No!" I hear Xavier shout through the link; he must have heard my thoughts. "Please, I can't survive without you!"

"You've survived this long without me," I say quietly through the link. I close my eyes and feel one last tear slip out. "I can't survive with me. I'm sorry." With that, I shut off the mind link again and jump out of bed, quickly jumping into some black jeans, a black hoodie, and come converse.

I run over to a notebook and scribble down a note, taping it to my closed door as I leave my room for the last time. I quietly but quickly walk through the halls, trying to figure out how to get out of this damn house. After maybe ten minutes, I'm back in the living room, looking at Cat and Kaeden, both passed out on the couch.

My eyes dart back and forth between the two people before me, thinking about how they're two of the only people who ever truly cared about me. Tears well up in my eyes as I feel a mental breakdown I've been fighting off for years overwhelm me. I break down sobbing, tears streaming down my face as I fall to the floor, balling myself up and hugging my knees. The sudden noise wakes up Kaeden, who drowsily looks at me for about half a second before jumping up and rushing over to me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He glances at the bandages covering my arms. "Oh, Lainey," he says sadly. I don't even care that he can see all the marks on my arms, I just hug him really tightly, nearly knocking him over in surprise. He hugs back, just as tightly. "What happened?" I just shake my head, sniffling. I slowly get up, detaching myself from my shocked friend and grab his hand, leading him back up to my room. I gently take the note off my door and hand it to him, wiping my eyes.

Kaeden's POV

I hesitantly take this mysterious note from Lainey, just wanting to hug her again, I hate that she feels so horrible right now. I slowly unfold the piece of paper and read it.

Dear Cat, Kaeden, and Xavier,

By the time you find this, I'll be a bloodstain on the front of a train or at the bottom of a lake. I'm sorry I didn't properly say goodbye before leaving, but I suppose that's what this letter is for. You know, closure. Cat, you're an amazing friend. You've done so much for me, even you barely knew me when you invited me to join your pack. I mean, I could have been a serial killer or something, but you were so nice and caring. I hope you go on to start a family with a loving mate, and have lots of friends to help you forget me. Kaeden, you also didn't even know me when you stood up for me that day at the mall, and it means a lot since you're the only person who ever did that. You're gonna have an amazing life, with one lucky mate, believe me. You're an awesome, caring guy who deserves the best.

And finally, Xavier. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for running away, flinching away from you, and just not trusting you. It's just that I've been through so much and I can't handle someone loving me, or an entire pack looking up to me. I can tell you're a caring, strong guy who is a great leader and person. What I'm doing isn't your fault, and you couldn't have done anything to help, so please don't beat yourself up. Please try moving on and finding another girl, someone who isn't as broken and fucked up as me, just try forgetting me. I just can't handle life, my feelings and thoughts are so overwhelming and horrible, I just can't bear to live anymore. I'm sorry your only experience with a mate was so horrible and short, you deserve better.

You all have a place in my shattered heart, but it's time I left. Goodbye.

-Elaina

As the letter ends, I feel my eyes get watery as my heart skips a beat. She was going to kill herself.

Elaina's POV

Kaeden slowly folds up the letter and hands it to me before giving me a secure hug. He looks me straight in the eyes and says, "You matter to people whether you know it or not and next time you feel this way, please just come talk to me."

I can't seem to muster up a response so I just let him drag me to the bathroom down the hall, where he sits me down on the toilet and starts correctly cleaning and bandaging my arms. I know how, I was just sort of in a rush when it happened. I awkwardly pull up my shirt so he can reach the cuts on my stomach, and when he's finished I examine the pristine, white bandages. "Thank you. For everything," I say quietly, staring down at my mummy-like arms. "I think I'm gonna go to bed."

He nods and protectively follows me to my room, hesitantly stopping; he doesn't want me to do anything else. "I'll come talk to you if anything else happens," I murmur quietly. Nobody's ever cared before, it was weird for someone to find out I was going to or tried killing myself and wasn't disappointed that I survived. He gives me another quick hug before I slip back into my room, and sliding into bed. I open up the letter, reading it again before placing it on my bedside table.

I let out a sigh and sit back against the frame. I can feel Xavier's panic through the line, and I'm going to mind link him when I pass out from exhaustion.

*****************************************

Oh my god you guys, you have been asking for an update forever, sorry for taking so long to fulfill your request, I had a bit of a writer's block, but I'm back :)

Thank you guys so much for all your comments, I love getting feedback. It really means a lot that so many people find joy in my writing. My vote goal for this chapter: 20 please :)

Anyway thanks so much for reading and putting up with my slow updates, I've been really busy, you know, playing skyrim and having mental breakdowns. Depression and anxiety is fun *thumbs up* I'll try taking advantage of summer and update more frequently.

~MysticWillows