Billy Mays X reader

Chapter 3

     The cafeteria was so noisy and incredibly dirty. You could've sworn that the teachers only cleaned it once a month or maybe even a year. Billy had brought his own lunch so he was saving a seat for you while you went to buy yours. The food looked kind of gross. There was grease all over the pizza and most of the milk was expired. You looked over to see the lunch lady...or whatever it's gender was. "These mashed potatoes trigger me!" they said. You looked at them with a confused expression in there face.
     You went to pay for your food for the lunch...um person. "Uh...are you a boy or a girl?" you asked nervously as you punched your school ID number into the machine. "Check your privilege young lady! I happen to identify as a bisexual ace coo coo puff penguin!" they said proudly. Your eyes widened, "Okay then." You went to sit with Billy as the lunch bisexual ace coo coo puff penguin scream, "LOVE WINS!" while waving around a rainbow colored flag. You sat beside Billy while he had a huge smile on his face.
     "That's Jesse," Billy said, "they graduated from here thirteen year ago. Their name used to be Jessica but..." You chuckled, "I see how it is." You took a bite of your mashed potatoes and instantly spit them out. It tasted like poison! "Yeah, I wouldn't eat that if I were you..." Billy said as he gave you half of his sandwich. You blushed a bit. Billy was so kind to you.
     Suddenly a loud voice boomed through the cafeteria. "FOOD FIGHT!" Billy instantly crawled under the table and pulled you down with him right before a huge slice of greasy pizza was about to hit you square in the face. You saw as food flew everywhere throughout the cafeteria. "Jeez, this is the third time this week!" Billy said. You were speechless. You had heard about schools having food fights in books and tv shows but you didn't think they were actually real. Another person crawled under the table with you two. It was Pepe! She appeared to be crying and was covered in expired milk and mystery meat.
     "Babe, what happened?" Billy asked. "You know what happened!" Pepe snapped, "Stupid Donald keeps starting food fights!" "Donald?" You questioned. "Yeah Donald Trump." she responded. "He's the school bully to put it plain and simple." Billy said. Pepe nodded, "He's racist and gets his haircuts from an old guy off the street." Billy frowned, "Pepe stop making false assumptions." "You know it's probably true!" She replied.
     "DROP THE FOOD"  your eyes widened. You saw Jesse standing on an empty lunch table with a megaphone. The cafeteria went dead silent. "Don't you know that all this ruckus could trigger someone!?" Jesse took a deep breath to calm down a it. "Anyway Y/N L/N, Billy Mays, and Pepe the Frog, the principal would like to see you all.

((There I did it where's my cookie?))

((Also L/N means last name just in case ya didn't know))