Bad blood...

New York City

Sorry for the late update guys. I just couldn't get myself to write anything plus I had exams. I hope y'all like it. And I'll try to update a little more regularly from now on.

It's been almost over two years since I last stepped onto the cold yet euphoric streets of New York. This place was once home, my safe place, but right now I was dreading this place and the events that may occur here. It's funny how a place where you felt the happiest could later on become the reason behind your grief.

There was once a time where I was even ready to break all connections with my father just so I could remain amidst this hustle, with my people, forever. This city is where I have accomplished the most significant  milestones of my life, it's where I: fell in love (the kind you read about in fairytales), won my first Grammy award, purchased my own lavished house with my hard earned money and most importantly it's where I found out that I was expecting a baby. All these moments held value to me because I had a soulmate with me, supporting me, making me smile and making me feel loved- making me feel like I actually meant something to someone. He made me feel special.

Having him stand beside me, made every moment worth cherishing, made me want to live life to my hearts content. He had ways of making me smile through the worst situations. Moments like when my Grandma or Midnight passed away, moments that made it seem like my world was going to shatter, he always made me believe that daylight isn't too far. There was just something about his angelic smile that gave me assurance that everything was going to be alright, it was so contagious. He knew me better than any other, after all he was my best friend.

Never had I expected myself to be so head over heels for anyone. A guy I had coincidentally met through a dance reality show had become the centre of my world, my anchor who held me down at all times. I had also never expected myself, a girl from the Bay Area, to be surrounded by a group of hardcore, traditional Russians who loved me to death. They always had my back, treated me like I'm royalty. My very passionate Russian Army, ready to declare war on anyone who had bad intentions for me. I'm pretty sure they've broken quite a few bones because "The Queen was under threat." They were little goofballs, they had a strong and a slightly threatening  exterior, however they were extremely loving and compassionate by nature. I was so loved and pampered by the Chmerkovskiys and their squad.

I couldn't be thankful enough for the things,or people to be more precise, that New York City had blessed me with, But despite all those beautiful memories being here now is causing me extreme pain and nostalgia. I had never felt a greater sense of loss, well besides the day I decided to leave my people and my world.

Those happy days with My Russian Army and Val are now history, all I have left with me right now are memories and my little bundle of joy, the reason why I'm still living. My little baby boy... Luca Chmerkovskiy.