Girlfriend's Best Friend

Chapter 28

       Now that three of my friends knew about what was going on between me and Brooke, I was starting to get nervous. She knew this too, but she acted completely unbothered by it, but who knew if she truly felt that way.

            We went back to Carter’s house to hang out and started playing dumb games like truth or dare, never have I ever, and even hide and seek. Brooke kissed Carter during hide and seek so “no one else suspected anything,” but I had a feeling she was just doing it to be spiteful. And I couldn’t even tell her that that hurt me, considering the position I was in.

            Carter told us that we could all sleep over his house if we wanted which I thought would be fun, now that Kelli and Brooke were friends again. For the first time in a while, everything felt like how it was on day one, where there were no problems or secrets.

            Brooke and Kelli fell asleep on the couch together by the time the food Carter’s mom had ordered for us arrived. All six of us devoured it, Mattie and Duke passing out right after we did. Graham and Jace laid down, really tired but neither wanted to fall asleep yet. Carter and I both reached for the last slice of pizza when Brooke woke up.

            “You guys ate all of it?” she asked, still half asleep.

            “Good job, you woke her up,” Carter burped in my face and took a bite out of the slice. “You might wake Kelli up too.”

            “Kelli’s a really heavy sleeper, you won’t,” Brooke said. As soon as she said that, we both gave each other the same look that no one else would notice, knowing the opportunity we had when everyone else fell asleep.

            Brooke’s stomach growled and she went for Carter’s pizza. He raised it above his head where she couldn’t reach and shook his head. “Carter, please! Just one bite!” she put her hand on his shoulder and stood on her tip toes to try to get the pizza. She was only wearing the shirt Carter gave her to sleep in, which lifted up as she raised her arm, exposing her bare ass that her thong didn’t cover.

            “Brooke, don’t do that!” I laughed at her, explaining what happens when she does.

            “No, Brooke, you’re good, keep doing that,” Graham said. Not gonna lie, that p.issed me off, but I didn’t show any emotion. If Mattie, Duke, or Jace had made that comment, I would have yelled at them for it because they knew how I felt about Brooke. I explained it to all of them the best I could, which was honestly that I do love Kel, but can’t figure out why I couldn’t let Brooke go.

            “Are you not wearing underwear?” Carter asked, almost too excitedly.

            “I don’t know, why don’t you check?” Brooke flirted with him. No, no, how about he doesn’t check. I watched as Brooke flirted around with Carter for a few more minutes, and I honestly wished Kelli was awake so I could flirt with her in front of Brooke. Why was I so spiteful?

            Brooke told us to all lay down in a circle with our heads facing each other so we could stay up and talk, but Jace had fallen asleep right after he positioned himself. Now that Brooke was laying next to me, I felt like I loved her again. I hated that no matter what she did, I couldn’t get angry at her enough to not want anything to do with her anymore. I’d always kind of want her, but I’d never be able to.

            Carter passed out next, and I was waiting for Graham to fall asleep so that Brooke and I were the only two awake when he admitted something to us that I never would have guessed.

            “Like, I really like my girlfriend, and you guys have to promise me you won’t say anything to her but I hooked up with another girl when I was dating her,” he looked down, regret spilling over his face.

            “What? Who? When?” Brooke was so hypocritically quick to ask.

            “She said her name was Ava Rivers but she wasn’t even from here so I wouldn’t know if she was lying. She said she was on vacation with her friend Savannah for a week and I figured since she wouldn’t be here long, it wouldn’t really matter and my girl would never find out. This was about a month ago which is why I flipped on you guys when I knew you...” he lowered his voice. “Hooked up. I was so disappointed in myself and regretted it so much after and I didn’t want Cody to make the same mistake I did.”

        I instantly felt like absolute shit, knowing one of my best friends was trying to protect me from a mistake he himself made, but that I would never be able to stop myself from making.

            “I understand that, bro,” was all I could say.

            “I was just trying to keep you guys from doing something you’d both regret, I’m sorry if I acted like a dick. I’m so tired though, I’m going to go to bed, night guys,” he turned his head and fell asleep.

            I looked at Brooke, seeing if she had the same expression on her face that I did—guilt, embarrassment, regret—anything that told her this wasn’t a good idea.

            But her expression was unreadable. And ten minutes later, we were hooking up.

            When I kissed her, I couldn’t help but to smile. I didn’t want to, but how could I not? I felt her smiling too, but I could feel some kind of hesitation, something holding her back. Maybe this was it—the moment that Brooke realized we have to stop. I realized this a long, long time ago, but I just never could. I’m sure Brooke realized this too, but I mean maybe she finally understood it. Maybe she’d tell me this wasn’t a good idea, that she just made up with Kelli, that Graham and the rest of our friends would be so disappointed to find out, and she’d be the one to end things with me. I wouldn’t have to end things; I wouldn’t have to hurt her.

            Maybe that’s why I stuck around Brooke for so long. I couldn’t leave someone that broken to fix themselves. When I was that broken, I had Kelli to help me out. When Kelli was that broken, she had me to help her out. But when Brooke was that broken, who was there? But does that qualify as love?

            “Guys,” Graham said, forcing us both to pull up. “I’m still awake.”

            I heard Brooke quietly gasp and she looked at me to say something, but how was I supposed to explain that?

         “Guys, even after what I just said, you’re still doing this?” he asked, disappointingly. “Do the other guys know?”

            “Yeah, they do but Graham, look, it’s honest to God, not what it looks like,” I had no idea how I’d bullsh.it my way through this.

            “Then what is it?” he asked. And when I didn’t have an answer he continued, “I know you were just making out but bro, that’s still cheating. And Brooke, you just made up with Kel. Why would you do this again? The day everything became okay again?”

            “Graham, we should be honest with you. It wasn’t just today that Brooke and I did this again…we’ve been doing this. Ever since that first time you saw us. I know we told you it was one time but it wasn’t…” I tried not to sound so nervous. I just didn’t want him to think less of me than he had before he knew. I didn’t want him to think I was worthless.

            He started yelling at me that Kelli was right there and I yelled at him back to stop talking so loudly. “Of course I feel bad, Graham. Honestly, nothing against you Brooke, but I really wish we never started this. I love Kelli but I can’t stop going back to you. I know we fight a lot now because of this but the more we’re together, the more things I find to love about you,” I said. If I couldn’t bullshit my way out with lies, I’d bullshit my way out with the truth.

            “If you loved Kelli then you wouldn’t have any feelings for Brooke,” he said, trying to call me out on my lies.

            “I really love Brooke though,” I lied. “And that’s the problem.”