Kayla's POV:
I can't figure it out. I just can't. He's like a drug to me. I can't resist it. His eyes are breath-taking and when they look in mind, my heart melts. I need to see him everyday, ever hour. I need him in my life, and if I tell him that, he's going to be long gone and I can't risk that. Everyone's heard the saying 'love is blind' and if that's true, I was blind like a bat in the day.
He makes my heart beat faster when I'm around him. I am head over heels for him. Id do anything for him, anything. Even if he didn't want me in his life, id leave for him. I love him. I don't how it happened and I don't know why it happened but all I know is, it happened.
My mind couldn't function without him. I probably sound extremely weird but it's true. I know he doesn't feel the same. I've been keeping my feelings to myself for too long, it's taking over my life. My whole entire world revolves around him.
I'm a grounded person. I don't fall 'in love' for somebody this quick and this deep. It's new to me. Everything I'm experiencing with him, I've never experienced. Not even with Jean. Jeans a great guy but HE is so amazing.
Images of him pop into my mind when I have nothing to do. Smiles spread across my face when I think of him. How he's so quiet. How he's so mysterious. I can't tell what's on his mind. I can tell what most people are thinking of by their expression but him. Nothing.
It kills. It kills me slowly when he touches me. I've had several dreams about him being mine. When he touches my waist and bring me close to him, his breath tickling me, I feel like my heart will jump out of my chest and get away as far from him because it can't handle the pressure he's giving me.
He doesn't even care. And I love that. That's what attracts me to him. That I can't have him. I crave for him. And again, it's like a drug to me. It's like he's the dealer and I'm broke but I'm still begging him to give it to me. I need him.
I sound pretty crazy but if you wanted someone so badly, what would you do? Keep it bottled up inside of you? I have been keeping my thoughts to my self for years. No one bothers to ask what's on my mind or how I'm doing. Penny left. But Ariana came along but she's fading away. What do I have left? Nothing. Zero.
The best thing to do is forget about him. If I don't see him, I don't crave for him.
I kissed him once. And it was in the dark. I remember everything like it happened yesterday. How he said it was a mistake. That hurt a lot, but he apologized and everyone gets second chances right?
After this wedding, I'll try to move on. How can you get over your first love anyway?
I don't know and I don't want to but I have to. I can't just ...keep loving him until I stop breathing. I have to find my soul mate. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe God doesn't want us to be together.
But I can't stop.
I can't stop loving Zayn Malik.
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Bullied or Loved. (Zayn Malik)
Fanfic"As she ran into his arms with a big smile, him returning one back, she wrapped her arms around his neck and connected her lips with his. Why were his eyes open? Why was he looking at me?" Kayla runs into her bully after 2 years and ends up falling...
