In Her Shoes

1.

I got out of my car and walked into my house.

"Kids I'm home" I yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Mommy!" Ryland, my 4 year old son ran down the stairs.

"Hey baby!" I picked him up...

"Mommy why are you wearing those ugly shoes" he said pointing down at them

"These shoes are your grandma's old shoes..." I sighed looking down at them

"Oh okay..." He said... I wish he didn't have to go through losing his grandmother so early in his life... He hated when I mentioned her because it made him sad

"Mommy, why don't you love dad anymore?" He looked at me with big eyes

"I do love dad, it's just, well when 2 people are married sometimes they just grow apart, so when 2 people grow apart they become unhappy with their lives and decide its best to for them to go different directions with their lives... I will always love your dad, no matter what! But I have to love myself a little bit more and make sure I'm happy in life. Who told you that I don't love your dad?" I asked

"Arleen" Arleen was my oldest... She was having the hardest time with the divorce...

I put Ryland down and told him to go watch tv or something and made my way upstairs.

I passed by Katie's room and then by Ryland's room to get to Arleen's...

I knocked on the door.

"It's open" she said. I could tell she had been crying and it broke my heart

"Ari, can we talk" I said walking in.

"I have nothing to talk about with you" she said wiping a tear

"How about, maybe, the divorce" I said knowing she would want some answers

"Well here's one, why do you hate us so much that you have to be selfish... Make us miserable so that you could be happy..." She said harshly

"I'm sorry that your upset about this but you don't have the whole picture... I had my reasons... It wasn't just about happiness, it was about trust, and I could not trust your dad anymore..." I said  sitting on the bed next to her...

"Why? What could he have done that was so bad for you to put him through hell" she said

"First of all, Language young lady, your only ten... Second, if I told you, you wouldn't look at your dad the same... And I don't want that for you..." She would hate him if I told her the truth and I think that the truth would crush her more than the divorce has.

"Your so selfish!" She yelled

"I'm sorry you think that." I said walking out...

I walked out to face Adam... "What are you doing here" I said

"You should have told her... What I did" he said

"She would hate you... I don't want that"

He walked into her room and I followed

"Ari, there is something you should know..." He said looking down at his feet

"Adam don't!" I said

"I was seeing other women while I was with your mom..." He said

"You... Cheated?" She said in disbelief