Our Love Will Never Die

Clean Cuts

  (WARNING: May be triggering to weak hearted audiences.)
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       I sit on my bed watching Corpse Bride. Johnnie and I would watch it together every day as kids. He would sneak in my window at night and he'd sleep over. My mother hated it, we'd always get in so much trouble because we laugh like we are on drugs when we are together. I smile at the memories of our parents lecturing us and us trying so hard not to laugh our asses off.

       My heart clenched slightly at the thought of him, it still hurts. It's been a month and I haven't seen Jeff since. My head hurts from crying so heavily, from sobbing so loudly. I've thrown up too many times to count and I've blacked out even more. My head throbs as a tear rolls down my cheek, wetting my neck and shirt once again. My breathing picks up and I bring my knees up and hug my legs, trying to calm myself.

       I look up at the TV right when Victor enters the woods, saying the vows he couldn't remember at the arranged marriage. I say them along with him, by now I know the words by heart.

       "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way through darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine." I put my hand to my lips, remembering my first kiss.~

       Johnnie and I sit together on my bed, my parents asleep by now. We sit side by side and we watch the movie intently as Vitctor says his vows. Johnnie looks at me and I smile sweetly back, enjoying our time together. We say them together perfectly in sync with eachother. I smile brightly the entire time, not able to keep down the excitement my heart felt.

        "With this ring, I ask you to be mine..." We look at eachother as Victor puts the ring on the hand like branch. Before I could say a word, John's lips found mine and we shared both of our first kisses together.

       ~That's when I break entirely. My stomach twists and I run to the bathroom, dropping to my knees next to the toilet. I strain to hold myself up as I spew pure bile. I haven't eaten in a few days so there isn't any food to throw up. I back away and slump against the tub, trying to catch my breath.

       I look around to distract myself from throwing up again. I catch something in the corner of my eye, something small that has caught the fluorescent lights. 'My blade...' I think to myself. I stand up, my legs wobbling and my ankles sore. I walk slowly to my sink and pick up the small, sharp piece of silver. My shaky hand brings it to my to my wrist. "No one will miss me." I whisper and I press down and make one deep, clean cut. Then another. And one more before everything gets hazy. I hear my name being called and before everything goes black, I see round faded blue eyes.

        Jeff...