The Nightmare and The Voices

Chapter 3: Self Pity and Second Voice

It was the next day already so I woke up. This time I didn't wake up to a vibrate sunshine or to happy music; but rather a dark gray sky and nothing but a dark mind. The room was dark due to no sunshine entering the room,it was dead silent, no sound came in or out of the room. I decided at the last minute to stay in bed. I didn't want to go to school, or to do anything except to stare at the bright white wall. I had no determination to get up, to move forward. I'm tired, I'm tired of trying so hard every day. Theses voices inside my head make it hard to keep on going every day. Yet I smile and act like everything is okay. The voices, they have become more constant in my head....th-they  try to play tricks with my mind. I try to hold back the tears, to hold back the pain...but I couldn't. So, I cried until I felt satisfied. Even though I knew that no one was by my side.

It all seemed like one big dream,everything seemed like one big lie. Everyday is the same story with the same boring plot line. We're just...humans....humans who are constantly stuck of the idea of happiness , yet we can not find happiness until we've known sadness. We can not find love until we've  known hatred.

I get up from the bed with no energy but I have to get up because I need to use the restroom. I walk out of the room and down to the hallway, as I walked I felt my legs get heavier and heavier with each step I take. I can feel the stiffness of my face and the bags under my eyes from crying. To what have seemed like endless painful steps I walked in front of the restroom door. The restroom door was wood, it has a nice paint coating of cherry black; the knob of the door was a very soft light gold color. I enter the restroom and turned on the lights. When I turned of the lights I looked at myself in the mirror and all I saw was my empty reflection. What seemed to be a faceless human with out any desire to stay and learn to live life my way.

My dark brown hair was all over the place. My light brown eyes had bruised bags under them. My face was pale white as snow, it almost seemed like a ghost. I just stood  in front of the mirror with a displeasured look of what I saw and with what I found. It's just a reflection...I  know, but then...why do I see a monster? I know there just voices, I know it's only in my mind but I can't help to be afraid every time I close my eyes. I can't help but to wonder why me. Why is it always me? I started to feel tears fall down, yet I continue to stare at myself in the mirror while crying. W-wh-why? It's always me, it always has been me. Yet I'm only the monster I create,the one everyone hates.

"Jack...J-Jack don't get discouraged, you are meant for greatness. Right now I know it's challenging but your gonna go through more difficult obstacles in your life. You have to help yourself sometimes, because in life not everyone is going to help you. Not everyone is going to be there when you need them. What you do today will effect your tomorrow... so please Jack, stay calm. I will always protect you, just hear the sound of my voice and stay clam." Said the calm and gentle voice in my head, it's voice was so soothing. I started to calm down and wipe off the tears from my face.
"Wh-who are you? Why are you so kind to me?" I said in a soft delightful yet confused voice.
The voice scoffed, "I'm you Jack, I'm the gentle and kind part of you that you kept locked inside. I'm the part of you that you kept locked because you... hated me.I couldn't help you, I couldn't save you from your father and the bullies. All I could say was please stop, please leave me alone." As the voice spoke it became more soft and sad yet I heard it clearly.
"W-what? What are you talking about?!?" I said worriedly and confused. But just like that the second voice left.