The Mind of a Player

Don't push the power button!

I got to school and tried my best to avoid any type of contact with Alexis. I am completely afraid of love. Ever since my dad told me I'd fall in love one day all I've wanted to do was avoid it. Hide from it even. I don't want to fall in love. It's literally scarier than anything else on the earth and afterlife. Some people say they like love. I think they just like the idea of love but when it's actually there they hate it. With me, there would most likely be a thin line between love and hate.

I saw her waiting at my locker as I came up the first stairwell. I hid behind the wall separating me from her field of vision. It worked until the first period bell rung. Her first period is Chemistry and Chemistry is down in the basement. She decided to use the first stairwell. I turned around and ran as fast as I could down the steps.

Apparently I run kinda slow because right as I got to the bottom of the stairwell there she was at the top. She probably wouldn't have noticed me if I didn't turn around to see if she was there.

"Aden?" She asked like my mom found out that I didn't do a chore or something. I looked her directly in the eyes.

"Yeah wassup" I answered slowly.

"Did you come to school late on purpose or what?"

"Something came up..." It wasn't a lie. I was in shock an completely afraid that my play-ality was in jeopardy. If my player was cut out from my life I would not survive. Playing for me is like water - it's a life's necessity.

"Oh ok well I don't really feel like going to my first period. Wanna cut and go to the park?"

Should I decline or say yes? If I say yes what will happen? Will she bring up the text? Would I find myself saying it back? I cannot take any of these questions into consideration.

"Actually I need to do a presentation today that's why I said that I'm free for tomorrow because I had something today." Executed like a perfect player/liar. But when I think about it, it's the truth.

"Oh ok well I'll see you after school maybe."

"Yeah maybe." I said going up the stairs quickly. She dismissed it but looked confused afterwards. She proceeded to walk to her class.

I blew a sigh of relief. Once I was clear she was out of earshot I swore at the top of my lungs.

"Who does she think she is trying to get at me? She of all people knows the outcome of that... Some people just don't learn." I said all in one breath just talking to myself.

I walked to my locker and struggled to get my things out. It was difficult to even open it in the first place because of how sweaty my hands were. I stuffed my things into my book bag and rushed to my first period.

I was late and ended up having to present first. It was terrible because I was fumbling around with all my note cards, I was stuttering like a woodpecker, and swearing under my breath just about every five seconds. Alexis was really getting to me and all she had to do was say three words. I finished and was given a B- despite my constant swearing and confusion on my own words and handwriting. I took my seat in the back and fell asleep for the rest of the class.

I was woken up by my second period bell not long after I fell asleep. I tried to forget it but the text just kept flashing in my head like a really traumatizing memory. She is absolutely crazy if she thinks I'll say it back. She's got to be all types of stupid if she thinks that I'll change my ways because of her. I'll never change... Ever.

I proceeded to lunch and as I walked in the door it seemed as if everyone in the student body that was present was staring into my soul. Did they all know? Were they just staring because of the sheer fact that I entered the cafeteria without making a single gesture towards anyone?