Once Upon a Time Lord

Chapter One

                  "Illustration" by Moi

When Killian swung from the pirate ship, Jane was thoroughly shocked.  Perhaps not as shocked, however, as she would have been had the Doctor not landed in his police box next to Lucy moments before.

"Are you Jane?" Killian called out, the wind from the storm outside nearly drowning out his voice.

"Yes, why?" Jane said.

"Climb aboard!" Killian shouted to Jane.  Jane looked to Lucy, but before either of them could say anything, the Doctor yelled back to Killian over the wind.

"On that thing?  She'll be far safer in the TARDIS!" the Doctor shouted.  The Jolly Roger, which was the title painted on the side of Killian's pirate ship, wasn't the largest ship to set sail, but it was big enough, and in comparison to the Doctor's phone box it was almost comical that the Doctor would suggest that his phone box was safer than the Jolly Roger.

"The Jolly Roger is ten times safer than your old box!  She couldn't even fit in there."

"It's bigger on the inside!" the Doctor shouted back.

"How about if we just put the TARDIS on the ship?" Lucy said.  All three of the others turned to her, and the Doctor said, "Who're you?"

"Lucy Hathaway," Lucy said.  "The better question is who're you, spaceman?"

"We don't have time for this," Killian said.  "The building is going to collapse.  Jane, get in the ship."

"I'm not going anywhere without Lucy," Jane said.

"Oh, for crying out loud," the Doctor said.  He snatched Lucy's hand and dragged her into the TARDIS, which promptly disappeared from existence and rematerialized on the deck of the Jolly Roger.  Seeing this, Jane accepted Killian's outstretched hand and he swung her up onto the deck.

"Hmm," Killian said, looking her over.  "Future me was right."

"What?" Jane said, but he had already rushed off to pour some strange dust across the ship.  Before Jane could ask what he was doing, the ship started floating.

The Doctor and Lucy fell out of the TARDIS, looking flustered.  The Doctor glanced over the edge of the ship, looking confused, and then nodded.  "Flying pirate ship.  Brilliant."

He then proceeded to scan every inch of the deck with a strange buzzing object that Jane didn't recognize.  After a moment, he frowned.  "Wood."

"It's a ship, mate," Killian said.  "They usually involve that."

"Captain?  Or whatever?" Jane called.  Killian glanced over his shoulder, turning to face her. 

"Killian's fine, love."

"Killian then," she said.  "Are you kidnapping me?"

Killian rolled his eyes.  "Certainly not.  I'm taking you on an adventure."

"No thank you," Jane said.  "I would like to be taken back home."

Killian shook his head.  "You wouldn't like that, actually.  Ogres.  Ogres everywhere."

"Ogres?" Jane said dubiously.  "You're going with ogres?"

Killian shrugged.  "C'mon.  You won't want to stay no matter what lie I come up with, so you may as well let it go."

"But where are you taking us?" Jane asked.  Killian glanced back as he put a hand on the wheel.

"Why, the Enchanted Forest, of course."