Jony: A Love Story

The Nightmares...

Jess had 3 dreams that night. Each one was worse than the last. Her first dream started out beautifully. She dreamt that she was a princess in a dazzling castle, wearing the most divine dress she had ever seen. Her betrothed, whom she was destined to meet that day, arrived on a charcoal steed, wearing platinum shining armor. Jess' jaw dropped. His graceful hands reached up with such grace, and pulled off his helmet, revealing Tony's sparkling sillhouette. Behind him, a cavalry of loyal soldiers, who were prepared to follow the dashing night into any battle, assured that they would win. With a look of shock and victory on his face, Tony jumped off of his horse, not taking his eyes off of Jess. He slowly walked up to her, got down on one knee, kissed her hand, and whispered to her something that shocked Jess down to her very being.

"Do you have any mild sauce?" He asked her quietly.

"Ummm..... No?" Jess was so disappointed. She was hoping that he would propose, or ask her out, or something. But no, of course he was a guy, a human being incapable of knowing how to get a question out. That was when Jess realized, she was talking! Excitement raced throughout her body giving her chills. Tony looked at her oddly, and Jess looked back at him with the 'hip/shoulder/stare'.

"I can talk, so you just don't say anything."

"Okay?"

Fudgenugget holy craplord Mary mother of baby Jesus! Jess couldn't believe that Tony (or some form of him) was being so rude to her! She looked over to one of the cavalry soldiers, who had said something, but Jess didn't quite hear it.

"What is wrong with your magesty?" The knight asked quizzically.

"Get back in formation, knave!" Tony had screamed at him.

"But sir, I only-"

"Ashton Carlot, you would do well to learn your place."

"Sir Tony, please let him speak." Jess mumbled quietly.

"Excuse me?! No one, and I mean no one tells Sir Mark Antony what to do, and who to listen to!"

"I wasn't asking you to listen, I was asking you to let your soldier speak to me, or should I have you catapulted out of my kingdom?!" In a rage, Jess tore past 'Mark Antony' and looked the knight, Ashton, in the eyes.

"Your magesty?" He uttered.

"Yes, Sir Carlot?"

"What has caused you to not be able to speak?"

That was when the dream changed. The entire earth whirled around Jess until she realized that she was in Oz. As in Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, Oz. She walked out of the bush that she was flung into and saw what she recognized as the Munchkin City. It looked almost exactly like it had in the 1939 Judy Garland movie, but with a twist. The Munchkin City was entirely upside down. Looking out into the distance, Jess' jaw dropped because the entire land was upside down. She was standing on a sky completely overcast with clouds.

Soon, a huge creature came out from underneath a particularly large thundercloud, and fumbled towards Jess. He stomped in circles around her, hardly using subtlty to say that he wanted to eat her. "You'll taste better than my lamb liver stew!" He thundered. His loud, baritone voice boomed around her. She snuck away behind a nice, soft cumulus cloud, where she had hoped that the giant would never find her. If only.... In three monsterous steps, the giant had reached Jess. "Where are you, little sugar cube?!" Of course, the beast rightly called her a sugar cube, because her pale skin was as white a sugar.

"I am no where!" She replied, remembering a Greek myth that a hero named Odysseus had defeated a giant using only logic.

"I can hear you!" his voice boomed around her.