Project: Chosen Grannie

Chapter 1

Agatha Anglethorpe's life was a masterpiece of organisational precision.

For this, Miss Mary Millicent Mulligatawny was chiefly to blame.

From seven in the morning ("Rise and shine, dear Mrs. Anglethorpe!") to nine at night ("Goodnight, dear Mrs. Anglethorpe. Don't hesitate to wake me if you should need your hot water bottle refilled in the night."), every minute of every day was superintended by the sweetest, flutteringest, most conscientious attendant ever to afflict a geriatric.

It was unbearable.

Even the cats were demoralised and powerless against the Juggernaut of Law and Order. And who could blame them? Claud, Hector, and Sirius had been reduced to a state of speechless indignation from the moment of Mary Millicent Mulligatawny's arrival. After all, not even the most self-respecting cat can hold its head up after being labelled a 'sweet kitty cat'. And although Alecto, Megaera, and Tisiphone weren't openly hostile, Agatha had learned to lock the door to the craft room carefully after each visit. The yarnage carnage after the first "sweet kitty cat" incident had been appalling.

And yet... it seemed impossible to complain. After all, what was there to complain about? Mary Millicent Mulligatawny — Agatha just couldn't separate the names in her head — was a diligent, careful and cheerful attendant. She never made a fuss, kept everything shipshape and running smoothly, and was always ready to humour Agatha's every whim.

In short, Mary Millicent Mulligatawny was the perfect attendant.

Yet somehow, those very perfections grated on Agatha's nerves. She sighed. You couldn't fire someone for being too good.

"Did you say something, dear Mrs. Anglethorpe?"

Damn. Agatha stifled another sigh. She should have known those sharp ears wouldn't miss a thing. "I was just counting my stitches," she lied. "Sorry to bother you."

"It's no bother at all, dear Mrs. Anglethorpe. If you need anything at all..." Mary Millicent Mulligatawny smiled sweetly, and Agatha felt her blood sugar level spike momentarily.

Alecto, who had been curled up on the hearth, coughed up a hairball and left the room in disgust.

Agatha stared down at the knitting in her lap.

"The sweet kitty cats have so much character, don't they?" Mary Millicent Mulligatawny cooed.

Agatha could have sworn that Hector and Sirius winced. Claud frowned and affected deafness. Before Agatha could answer, the kitchen clock chimed.

Mary Millicent Mulligatawny laid down the stack of household lists she had been going through. "Oh, it's time to fetch the tea tray."

As Mary Millicent Mulligatawny left the room, Agatha mouthed an apologetic "sorry" to the boys. Meg and Tess were nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Mary Millicent Mulligatawny filled the teapot with boiling water and carefully arranged Mrs. Anglethorpe's evening medication (two small white tablets for blood pressure, and one large pink capsule for cholesterol) symmetrically in the middle of the saucer next to the gold-rimmed china teacup patterned with blue roses. While she let the tea steep for precisely two minutes, she buttered a golden brown scone, then placed it carefully in the middle of a gilt-edged china plate. As she did so, she wondered if she ought to make some adjustments to dear Mrs. Anglethorpe's daily schedule. The poor dear had seemed decidedly low-spirited all day.

Nearly fifteen years ago, Mary Millicent Mulligatawny had been hired as a nurse-companion to the retired seventy-year old librarian. It had been the greatest stroke of luck. Agatha Anglethorpe was in relatively good health, and — apart from having far too many cats — an easy and undemanding patient/employer. Her only son and his children lived overseas, and while they called and spoke regularly, visits were perforce few and far between. They had been delighted when Mrs. Anglethorpe had agreed to hire the very well qualified Mary Millicent Mulligatawny to live with her. The two and a half million dollars that Mrs. Anglethorpe had won on the TV show Jeopardy shortly before her retirement meant that they were able to live very comfortably indeed. Really, Agatha Anglethorpe was the ideal patient/employer.