No More (Elizabeth x Ciel)

Chapter 17: Information

They had found it. The same club Ciel had had to visit the day before. Elizabeth needed to get in and investigate it. Although, they needed to see the bodies first, so she'd need to find the nearest undertaking service. The most popular undertaker in the area had just disappeared, how strange.

Anyways, Elizabeth threw on a plain dress (not the one from Nina, special occasions only) and headed out the door. She'd visit the nearest undertaker first.

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"Lady Elizabeth this isn't a good idea at all!" Paula squeaked nervously.

"Then wait outside, Paula." Elizabeth looked at the buildings sign. Morguo's undertaking service. She was definitely in the right place. She stepped in through the door, Paula tried to follow but Elizabeth stopped her. "Seriously, wait outside. And I want none of this told to my family." Elizabeth closed the door. 

She straightened her back to appear more confident, but truthfully she was a nervous wreck. She'd only been to an undertaking service once before, on that month. Elizabeth had helped pick out the coffin for her betrothed. "Hello?" Her voice cracked, "Is anyone here?"

"Hellooo~" An eerie voice called from behind the counter. A white haired man wearing an obviously fake mustache sat up.

"Might I ask what you were doing down there?" Elizabeth glanced over the counter to see an open coffin laying on the floor.

"Oh just resting." The man grinned widely. He seemed oddly familiar.

"You..." Elizabeth paused, "you look familiar." He smiled in reply. "You're the old undertaker! Just wearing a mustache!"

"Bingo, lady Elizabeth. Now, for my inquiries. What are you doing here?"

"I'm investigating the recent string of murders. The last one took place at a gentlemen's club." He scoffed.

"A lady like you? Investigating murders?" Elizabeth cautiously nodded. "Well, I suppose it's no stranger than a child being involved in the underworld. Just know, there isn't an escape once you've entered London's underworld."

"I know. I need to see the bodies."

Undertaker laughed. "So straight to the point. I don't do work for free, I'll have you know. Give me a good laugh first."

"You want me to tell you a joke?" Elizabeth asked and undertaker excitedly nodded. This was a problem. Elizabeth didn't know very many jokes. 'Lucille. I need a joke!'

'Oh shit yes! I got this.' Lucille told a plethora of jokes, none of them were particularly funny. Elizabeth chose to say the ones she remembered.

"Okay Mr. Undertaker ("Please, just call me Undertaker."). The other day, a burglar managed to break into a lawyers house. It was a terrible struggle, but the lawyer finally managed to rob him." This was met with a yawn from Undertaker. Elizabeth groaned. "How does a hanged man differ from a drunkard? One takes a drop to live, and one takes a drop to die!"

"Are you going to say anything funny?" Undertaker had a bored expression.

'I thought that'd work. People of his species usually think death jokes are funny...' Lucille said. Elizabeth brushed it off.

"Alright then. What's the difference between a foolish Dutchman and a tube? Ones a hollow cylinder and ones a silly Hollander." Elizabeth tried.

Undertaker grunted. "I'm about to ask you to leave my shop, you're so boring."

Elizabeth became extremely irritated. "Fine! How about this! A foolish woman tries to save her deadman fiancé by becoming a masked hero and disposing of the crime in London. All for a man who does everything behind her back and probably doesn't even love her! So anything she does means absolutely nothing! But she still does it because she's a naive girl who holds on to the false hope of the past!" Undertaker burst out laughing. Elizabeth huffed with embarrassment and anger.