Just the Two of Us

Meet Myself

   Hello myself! I'm narrating my story because, well let's just say that I got bored of shutting up, and since I have nobody to talk to these days, I decided to narrate my story...to myself, I guess. Hence the introduction.

    Oh, and by the way, I'm the last person on Earth. Yup, I heard myself right, I'M THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH! Think i'm crazy? Well, I am, but I wasn't lying to you, I really am the last person on Earth. Which, you know, really sucks, because I'm the definition of an extrovert. Like, I live for socializing! I mean, I talk to myself a lot, but that's just not the same, ya know.

   That's why I have my pet parrot. You know, those cute little talking birds you find at the zoo. Well, I tried to teach him a lot of words and stuff, like in those old movies I used to watch, but it didn't work out so well. What can I say, he's a stubborn parrot who refuses to get smart, I should admire his courage. Don't tell him I said this, but he's kind of annoying, shhh!

   The only words, or should I say word, he knows is the word taco. You ask him a question, what does he reply taco. He's never even eaten a taco, sadly they don't exist anymore...I think.  Like, your probably wondering why my parrot only knows the word taco, because I've been wondering that for a while now, well I have a theory. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with when I first met the last animal on Earth. A darn tooten' pretty good day in my opinion.

   I was sleeping at the White House, (when you're the last person on Earth, that's pretty normal) and I was having this crazy dream about monster tacos taking over the world. Sounds terrifying right?! Well, it wasn't terrifying, because they were talking killer tacos. The best kind of taco's in my opinion. So, while they were trying to kill me, I was striking a nice conversation about how hot that one guy on a television I once saw was. I can't remember his name, but he was like some sort of god. No offense actual God.

   Well, I guess I was muttering taco a lot, because I woke up to him saying taco. Taco. Taco, over and over again. That's why I named him, or her, I'm not really sure, Taco. Seriously though, how do you tell with birds? Yup, Taco the talking parrot. That bird has never left my sight once, although sometimes I think he wants to. Just a hunch.

   Anyway, I got so caught up in Taco that I forgot to narrate my amazing name! Laura Hunt. People used to say I act childish, but I happen to be a really mature fifteen year old! (Wow, narrating is fun, isn't it? Gosh I'm bored.) 

   Ummm...to describe myself..hmmm....I would say that I'm funny, (at least I think so, but there's nobody to judge...literally, so it's my way or the highway) crazy, quite strange at times, extrovert, very fun, and let's see...did I mention crazy? I don't think I did, crazy. Let's see, negative traits...well, what do ya know, there are none. Who would've thought, well not me,that's for sure.

   Oh. My. God! Do you know what I just realized, the only two living things on Earth are like extremely rare, I mean I'm just downright out of the ordinary, and come on, it's no coincidence that a parrot just randomly flew into the white house, let alone into the first lady's old bedroom. (She's dead by the way, so I've taken the rightful throne of awesomeness). Oh my gosh, I bet the bird was attracted to my perfume I found at the mall...it was like really strong. I bet Taco was attracted to me! Geez, that sounded bad.

   Wow, I've spent so long narrating details that I almost forgot to get out of bed! I'm on a schedule here. You see, remember when I said I live for people? Well, that's the reason I've dedicated my life to trying to find one...and going to different stores in search for pudding, but that's a different story. I've been searching for socializing buddies ever since the last person I knew died, which I really don't want to think about, let alone narrate. Another day meh friends, Er friend, I mean, myself..I guess. Oh wait, I forgot about Taco! Another day, Taco. There we go, that sounds about right. See, another thing about me is, since my mind is always on loop,like constantly, I tend to overanalyze things if you know what I mean.

   Anyway, it's time to go travel some more. Road trip! Oooo, I'm gonna stop at the nearest food store and get some food. Yum, food, I was thinking about tacos. Oh wait, I forgot, no meat, equals no tacos. That means only processed yuck for me. Oohh, but I can get pudding, lots of pudding. I love pudding if you can't tell.

   I got up from my comfortable position, and make a big show of stretching to Taco. I know, I know, I'm a drama queen, always am, always will be. When there's nobody left to put a show on for, I put it on for a talking bird. I laugh outloud to myself. If there were still people on Earth, they would probably see this as crazy, you know me randomly laughing to myself, but trust me, I can be crazier than even that. I can't even explain it to myself. Oh geez, I'm doing it again, over analyzing.

   "Stay focused Laura," I said allowed to myself. "You have a duty to humankind!" haha, I said duty. I couldn't help but crack up a little bit, but I forced myself to be focused. "Right, Taco?" I said to the parrot. He flew from his place on the dresser of the random rich people house I was staying at (after two years, I'm not really picky anymore) and onto my shoulder. As he/she did this, he (just assuming it's a he) hooted "Taco."

   I nodded dramatically, like they do in the movies right before a battle, then I began to march to my suitcase filled with clothes, rich clothes, that I've gathered over time. Since I don't like using generators all the time, once I've worn it once, I tend to never wear it again. I just throw it in a nearby lake or something, wasteful I know. Oh my gosh, you're probably wondering what a generator is. Well, it's like portable electricity thats stored in a big, metal, thingie. I'm too lazy to set it up a lot, though.

   The people gave it to us before everyone died, but when people were starting to get the virus (which I'll explain more later because it's kind of, you know, depressing, and depressing things suck.) Well, at that point, they had given up teaching us to be smart, and started just teaching us to be prepared to...continue living. Although, back then, I thought I was a goner, so I didn't listen to good, and I zoned out a lot. But, rookie mistake, right? Me and Taco are surviving just fine...after all we are immune, which is pretty awesome.

   Anyways, after I threw Taco off my shoulder and put a blanket over his head, so he couldn't watch me like a pervert of course, I began to get changed. "So, what should I wear today, Taco?" I asked while sorting through clothes. "Taco." he said. Even though his reply was irrelevant, I pretended that he had said something intelligent. I picked up a purple tank top I found at the rich people store, (Walmart, I think it was) and said, "Oh Taco, good choice! How did you know the dark purple would go great with my tan complexion?!" I said, acting as if I were in awe. (I really wasn't, though)

   What can I say, drama queen, remember? "Taco." He said, trying to bite threw the blanket, an action I chose to ignore. He's a good parrot, good parrot. "You are so smart, Taco." I said throwing on some skinny jeans. I would put on something comfy like shorts or stretch pants, lazy clothing I've grown to love, but that is just not something you want to wear on a motorcycle. Yup, I'm so bad, that I have a motorcycle.

   "You ready to go on another adventure?" I asked Taco while grabbing my suitcase and the bird cage. I hate putting Taco in a cage, but I can't risk the only animal on Earth's life, because I had to ride on a motorcycle. (Don't get me wrong though, I do need to ride my motorcycle)That's why me and Taco made a compromise. Plus, Taco is very open-minded to the whole cage situation. I'm pretty sure that he likes feeling the wind in his green feathers. It makes him feels like he's flying without all the effort of moving. This time Taco squawked, flying into the cage when I opened it, sitting on his little perch. He may be annoying, but he sure can be cute! Just like little sisters...that are all dead now.

   "Taco." He said, and I took that as a ready. "Then off we go!" I yelled, basically running out the door, trying to make up for lost time spent gabbing to myself...like right now for instance. I'll narrate again when I do something interesting. (Just so you know, as the last person on Earth, I happen to do very interesting things a lot, like...living for instance)