Zayn Malik's Long Lost Sister (Unedited)

83. Thoughts and Opinions

~Zayn's POV~

We didn't speak for a little while, the world around us carried on in it's universal music. Birds chirpping, cars driving by, a family across the way laughing and having a good time.

She didn't speak, and neither did I. Not because I liked the silence, but because it seemed as if we both were struggling with what we wanted to say.

I wanted to apologize. Over and over again, really drive it in to her on how truly and wholeheartedly sorry I am. But as soon as I would be about to break the silence, she looks like she's wanting to.

"So.." I say instead. It was a weak effort to coax out what was bothing her now, but she responded.

"So," She said firstly. Her bright blues find my browns and she takes a deep breath, her gaze keeping mine. Now I feel like it would be rude to look away from her, so I stare with curious interest. "I wanted to ask you something. And I want your full and honest opinion on it. No lying, okay? Can I trust you?"

I didn't answer for a second. I hated the fact that she didn't trust me or my words anymore. I hated that I pushed her this far. I nod my answer, but I thought of it as not good enough.

"Yes, I promise."

"What were you thinking when you called my parents?"

"I wanted to make things right in a way I thought would work. They've known you your whole life and I just thought that maybe-" I was going to say that I thought it was souly because they possibly could've helped the situation and we were desperate, but that would be a lie and I didn't want to lie to her anymore. "-maybe if you saw them, it would remind you of why you wanted to leave Florida so badly and come here. Well, that was at least seventy-five percent of the reason. The other twenty-five was because maybe they knew a faster way back into your trust and forgiveness."

"You know that they would've wanted to take me back to Florida, right? Whatever they've said to you and the family, if it was nice and seeet and sentimental, they were lying." Marley says, her eyes squinting. "They've hated you all."

"Honestly, all they talked about was how disappointed they were in us but how they would let you make your decisions now."

And it was true. They rode us on and on about how we knew Marley was senstive despite how she put herself out to be and that her inner trust circle was all that truly mattered to her. It was like being scolded by your grandparents. More shameful.

"I'm six-teen. I don't wanna make huge decisions anymore. I want help." Her gaze dropped from mine and I became greatful. I take in a deep breath as she lands her forehead against the table top. But she quickly fixed herself up-right and wipes her forehead of the filth the table left there. "What do you think I should do? What do you think is best?"

My eyes widen at her questions, stunted that she asked me. Did she trust me enough to help her now? Would she be expecting my answer to be the obvious one?

I want to be selfish, I want to tell her to straight up stay here with us and work it all out after her parents and Nadia go home.

Nadia.

Marley still doesn't even know.

"Before I answer that, Marls. I want to tell you that I met your sister." I say.

"I met them, too." She says, trying to be a smart ass.

"Not sisters. Sister. I mean, the sister your parents adopted almost two weeks ago." She did speak. She stammered for words before settling into a quizzical look, so I continue. "Her name is Nadia. She's roughly a year and four months. Likes to get into everything. Green eyes and dark curly blonde hair."

"She sounds lovely." Marley finally said. "But what does she have to do with what we're talking about?"

"Do remember the time you told me that you wished you weren't an only child? Do you remember when you wished you had someone to share your parents burdened with when it felt so suffocating? Remember when you went through all the hard times alone, wishing someone was close enough to you to understand what was going on inside that house?" I hated what I was about to say, but if I was being completely honest with her and myself, this was the truth. "I don't think you should leave Nadia the way you felt when you were the only child. I think she could use a big sister just like you. I think thats what's best, not just for her but for you, is for you to go back to Florida and be the big sister you've always wanted to be. I think it's best if you go with them."

"You want me to go?" Her voice cracked on the last word before she tried to straighten herself out and clear her throat. She was trying not to be the by what I was saying but her body was soon betraying her.

Her posture was slouched, her face pinched and showed signs of hurt, her shoulders were rolled forward. Even as she straightened up in her seat a second time, she still looked pained.

"Maybe you'll come back after a time away, time well needed, and forgive us one day. Maybe you'll bring us back in to your arms instead of keeping us at arms length. Maybe you'll come back and everything will be alright again." I word my hopes as if they made sense, but all I could hear was my unwilling thoughts telling her that she needs to get away.

She needs to heal, because seeing my sister broken emotionally and mentally and knowing it was my fault, nothing has ever hurt so much before.

"I want to think on it." She says, shaking her head. And from her voice, I knew she was hurting by my words just as much as I was at this point.

"Believe me, Marley, I want you here. I want you to stay with us forever, but we hurt you- I hurt you, and I can't ever forgive myself for the way you're looking now." She refused to look up at me, her eyes on the table between us and I could see them balancing tears, my voice started to tremble as I spoke more. "You're like this because of me, we're all in this position because of a stupid move I did in order to keep you here, and if I were in your shoes, I couldn't see myself forgiving me as easily as you have today."

She didn't speak, but I could hear her breathing starting to become shallow, and suddenly, I felt scared that I gave her the thought to take back her forgiveness.

My words and thoughts made my heart pound hard, so much so that I could hear the thud of my pulse hammering against my ear drums. I lifted my hands to my face, wiping my cheeks of the fallen tears and across my eyes to clear my vision.

And still, she remains silent, her head hanging farther so now her sight rests in her lap.

I stand from my seat on the bench, collecting myself away from it so I could sit right next to her on the opposite side of where I was.

I lay a kiss to her temple and wrap an arm around her waist, but she didn't want my comfort. She stayed motionless, even when she swayed from emotional weakness and I could tell she wanted to lean against me.

"It feels like you're sending me away." She whispers.

"Because I am."

(Hey, so I know this is short and probably crappy but it's reaching 12:30am and I decided to update again for you guys. Quick one, but I hope you enjoyed and I love you all very much.

I wanna dedicate this chapter to @ spicenialler . You've been so cute and amazing, and all your comments are so supportive and encouraging. You're truly a sweetheart, thank you.)