Summer's barely started for the almost new couple, and they don't think it can get any better than being together. However, the reality of life is only around the corner and they never expected that keeping a relationship healthy would be this diffi...
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I go to bed and fall asleep after hours and hours of staring at the black nothings in my eyelids. It was the only thing I could do. I knew Niall was probably angry with me and I could understand that. Although I'd explained that I didn't even kiss Harry back, I knew that Niall blurred out everything else after he learned the fact that Harry and I kissed.
For him, it didn't matter if it was accidental or if I didn't kiss back. The only thing running in his mind is that I kissed somebody else. Somebody else that wasn't him. So I know how much it's probably hurting him, because had it been me in his shoes, I'd feel my heart bruise up too.
So I understand. And with understanding, I can't blame him. If he broke up with me, I'd understand that too. It'd just be unfortunate, because I think I'd be lost without him since he's the only thing understandable in my life. I wouldn't be able to understand anything else.
I'm not even sure if I make sense anymore. I've overthought so much that everything in my brain has become knotted up and thus, indecipherable. Even when I become unconscious, my dreams are encrypted in a black and white format that remind me of Niall.
I can't escape him. He's everywhere even when he's not. I say that too many times but it's true.
When I wake up and check my phone, Niall is there too. I'm not just talking about my wallpaper of him literally smiling the sunshiniest smile, no. I'm talking about the long text message he'd sent me a few hours ago.
From Cheesehead:
Hey. Sorry I hung up our call earlier today. I know that was nighttime for you and that you're probably asleep, but it was morning for me so I had time to think it over while I was out practicing golf. I've just gotten back now and I've figured myself out.
I'm sorry I hung up on you. I was just really upset. But I've got it now, I know you wouldn't cheat on me. You said that Harry kissed you first and I trust you on that. And I swear to God it's taking all of me not to fly there right now and bash his pretty face in. He'll be ugly if I ever see him.
But enough about him. We need to talk about us. What happened to us? I told you this long distance thing wouldn't work. But you never listen to me, do you? And I know you want the best for me, but I don't think you'd be happy to learn what's been happening here. And what it's done to me.
It's pretty bad, baby. I know you'll throw a fit if I tell you, so I'm not going to just yet. I think it'd be better if it wasn't over text either.
So, anyhow, tell me if you still want to work this out. All you have to do is tell me you still want me and I'll come back to you. I'm not joking. Just give me the go and I'll be there.
If not, I don't know what I'd do. I don't want to love somebody else. I don't think I'd be able to even if I wanted to. You're the only girl for me, Kaya Owen. I think about you so much it almost drives me insane. I don't think you know how deeply in love I am with you but I want you to understand. The amount of love I have for you is enough to let you destroy me and kill me a thousand times over. You have all of me, I swear.
