After dancing in the park past sundown, Niall finally decided that it was time for the pair to head home. "I'll walk you home," Niall said with a smirk.
Winter rolled her eyes, "Oh, maybe 'cause you live right next door to me?" Niall laughed and shrugged.
"I'd walk you home, even if we weren't neighbors," Niall said with a giggle, "That's how much I like you."
Winter shook her head, chuckling. She reached out for Niall's hand and he securely took her hand in his. He carried everything he brought in his other hand, refusing to let go of Winter. They made a few jokes and shared a few laughs until they were almost home, and then Niall thought to bring up something he'd been worrying about since he heard that kid at school. "Hey, uh, Winter...?" Niall mumbled, clearing his throat.
"What's up?" Winter squeaked, glancing up at Niall.
"So... today at school, some kids were talking to me about you and stuff and asking questions..." Winter stared at Niall and nodded her head, encouraging him to continue. He mumbled, "And one of them said that you have struggled with depression and that you have an addiction and I... well, I..." He didn't know what else to say. Was he worried? Yeah. Was he fearful of what Winter's response might be? Yeah. Was he even sure he wanted to know what her response might be?
Winter stopped walking and Niall followed suit. She let go of his hand and her head rolled back while a long sigh slipped from her mouth. "I've been depressed since fourth grade," Winter explained, "That's when I was diagnosed."
Niall's eyes widened. He swallowed hard. "Wait, so you really are...?" It was as if he was afraid to say the word 'depressed' now that he knew his girlfriend struggled with it.
Winter nodded. "Yep. I've been diagnosed and I've taken medication for it in the past. Not recently, but I can always get an anti-depressant if I feel like I need it."
"Oh," Was all Niall could say. He lowered his eyes.
"And about the addiction thing..." Winter started, before pausing to think about what she'd say. She valued Niall far too much to risk losing him. So, instead of telling him the entire truth, she told only part of it. "I like to drink sometimes," She admitted, "You know that. You've seen me drunk before – at that party. I don't get violent when I'm drunk or anything, I just feel a little more... at ease. Content, I guess. Sometimes I swear alcohol helps me more than any prescription drug I can get."
"That isn't healthy for you, Winter," Niall said. At this moment, he regretted even asking Winter about her problems. He wished he hadn't. He didn't want her to be suffering and he hated thinking that she was.
"A lot of things aren't healthy for me," She said. Winter threw her arm up, motioning to the sky as she said, "Breathing this polluted air isn't healthy for me either, but I have no choice with that one. And, y'know, feeling depressed isn't healthy for me, either." Niall sighed deeply. He didn't like the direction Winter was taking this in.
"I want you to be safe."
"I want to feel okay."
"Winter-"
"Niall!" Winter shouted, knotting her fingers in her hair. She let out a frustrated groan, clenching her eyes shut. She hated that she had to keep things from him, that she couldn't fully tell him her story. She hated knowing he'd judge her, and that he was probably judging her in this very moment too. She hated that he was so damn good. But at the same time... at the same time, she loved it.
Breathing heavily, Winter whispered, "I'm sorry."
"What?" Niall's voice cracked as he lifted his eyes and settled them on Winter. He didn't want this to escalate like this. He was concerned, that's all. He didn't want to fight.
YOU ARE READING
Church Boy ♱ nh
Fanfic"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23.