Larry Stylinson ao3 one shots.

you're the one that i want at the end of the day

Written by:hilourry

Summary:Everyone is born with part of a tattoo on their body. It grows every year until the person is 16 and it becomes complete. When they meet their soulmate, the tattoo becomes colorful. Louis' tattoo happens to be colored in when she meets Harry in the toilet at their X Factor auditions.

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Louis was unfortunate enough to present as an omega at only the age of eleven. She cried a lot at first, wishing it didn't happen so early, that she could just be normal, but her mother sat her down and promised she would find a nice male alpha to take care of her soon. That's when she explained how their tattoos worked.
Every birthday, a little more of her tattoo would be filled in. It starts off as just as just speck somewhere on the person's body, and grows every year, until it's complete. When the person turns sixteen, their whole tattoo shows up, but in black ink. When they meet their soulmate, the tattoo will have color, and that's how they know they belong together.
Louis has wanted to figure out what her tattoo was since she understood it. She makes guesses on it all the time, thinks about what her mate may look like, or when she'd meet him.
When she turns sixteen, though, she's filled with dread. She lifts up her shirt and turns to the side, half a sun on her ribs. Half. She yanks her shirt down and stares in the mirror, suddenly anxious. Maybe she's not meant to have a mate. Maybe she's destined to be alone forever. Happy sixteenth birthday.
~
Louis' mother drags her to X Factor auditions a week later. She knows she won't get put through, and she's already feeling down that she's doomed to be die alone, and this will only make it worse. She hasn't told her about her tattoo, avoiding the topic at all costs. There's no way out of auditions, though.
"Mum, I'm not even good!" she argues. "They'll say no to me."
"You have a lovely voice, dear," she promises. "That's why I'm bringing you! I hear you in the shower. You're incredible!"
Louis blushes. "I'm not good enough."
"You'll never know if you don't try, Louis. You can sing that Delilah song you're always singing!"
"Hey There Delilah," Louis mumbles, crossing her arms. "Fine, but when I don't even get through, you owe me a huge tub of ice cream."
"It's a deal," she smiles.
~
Louis uses the toilets when she realizes how close she is to being called up. The nerves must be working on her bladder.
When she goes to wash her hands, there's a girl standing beside her. Her hair is long and curly, pushed back by a silk, pink and white headscarf. She's got on a white t-shirt and dark skinny jeans. She smells like an alpha.
Female alphas are so rare. There aren't many of them at all. Louis has never actually seen one before, or, not that she knows of. Out of curiosity, she tries and catches a glance at her crotch, finding a bulge. Definitely an alpha. She doesn't seem embarrassed about it. She gives off the vibe of confidence, like most do.
Louis gets this strange feeling over her, something powerful and she can't figure out what it is. She tries to ignore the churning of her belly, almost like a feeling of hunger, or maybe nausea. She can't figure anything out. Her hands are shaking.
"Are you auditioning or are you here for a friend?" she asks, drying her hands.
"Auditioning," Louis replies, her voice sounding foreign in her own ears. Something feels off.
"Good luck, darling," she smiles.
It makes Louis' stomach flip. "What about you?"
"Also auditioning. I'm Harry Styles."
"Louis Tomlinson," she says, drying her hands and shaking Harry's offered one. "Good luck to you, too."
"Thanks," Harry smiles. "It was nice to meet you. Hopefully I'll see you around, love."
"Yeah," Louis nods, ignoring the butterflies in her belly. "Okay."
Louis walks out of the bathroom, wanting to get away from her. She felt too weird around her, too squirmy and uncomfortable. She has more important things to focus on.
~
She gets through.
It's only to the second round, for now, but she gets through. She doesn't know how this is possible, but excitement and hope bubble in her chest. She might be able to do this.
She looks around and sees Harry hugging a woman she assumes is her mother. She must have made it, too. She looks like she could be famous, really. She's got the face and body for it. She's an alpha, too, so she'll get her way, probably.
They meet eyes and Harry smiles at her, waving and giving her a thumbs up. Louis smiles and does the same. Maybe she isn't so bad. Maybe Louis is just paranoid. Or maybe Louis is just being freaked over the fact that she's a female alpha.
Louis' mother hugs her like crazy when she lets her know she's through to the next round, wanting to celebrate with some huge dinner. They'll have to rent a hotel so they don't have to make the drive back to Doncaster, but his mother seems more than willing.
"I knew you could do it!" Jay says proudly. "You just needed some confidence!"
"Thanks, mum," Louis smiles. "Thank you for making me do this."
"Let's go get dinner!"
~
When they get to the hotel, Louis informs her mom she's going to go shower. She strips off her clothes in front of the mirror and finds her tattoo is now full and colorful. She freezes.
Her sun is still there, now bright yellow, with a grey moon beside it, designed to look like they're crossing paths. She brushes her fingertips over it, admiring the beauty of it. She refuses to believe it's because of Harry. She met a lot of people today. There's no way it's her. She's supposed to mate with a guy. It must be because of some random boy she passed today, that's all. It's not Harry.
She takes a shower and tries to wash off the feeling of anxiety. What if it is because of Harry? What if Harry is her soulmate? What is she's destined to be with a...girl? It doesn't make sense. There's very few female alphas, and of course, she'd get stuck with one of them.
Louis really doesn't think she could be comfortable with another girl, if she could be with one so intimately. The thought makes her itch uncomfortably. She can only hope it's all in her head, that Harry isn't her soulmate. She'll have to ask Harry to figure this out, once and for all.
~
Louis wakes up wet the next morning. She had an incredibly detailed dream about Harry. They were kissing, and Harry's huge cock was rubbing against her belly as she hovered over Louis on a bed. Louis remembers begging for her cock, over and over. She woke up before she got it.
She feels horrible and guilty and uncomfortable, trying to pretend it never happened. It was only a dream. Dreams don't mean anything, anyway. Just a dream.
"Louis, get dressed, love!" Jay says excitedly. "Another big day!"
"Yeah, I'm coming," Louis sighs, climbing out of bed and changing. She does her makeup in the bathroom, and takes another peek at the tattoo. It really is gorgeous.
"Your tattoo!" Jay cries. "It's colored!"
Louis quickly fixes her shirt to hide it, blushing furiously. "Yeah, we should go."
"Did you meet a boy yesterday? Tell me about him!"
"I dunno who it is, mum, I met a lot of people," she says. "Please, let's go. I don't want to talk about it right now."
Jay frowns but nods. "Alright, darling. Let's get going."
~
When they get there, Louis searches everywhere for Harry, wanting to get her answers and stop worrying. She was more nervous about this than she was about the competition, really.
"Mum, I'm just gonna go talk to someone I met earlier, okay? I'll see you later."
"Alright, love, good luck."
They say goodbye and Louis finds Harry talking to a group of male alphas. Louis taps her shoulder to get her attention.
"Hey, Louis!" Harry says excitedly. "So glad you made it!"
"Yeah," Louis forces a quick smile. "Can I see you in the bathroom, please? It's sort of important."
Harry's face is weird, then. She looks like she might understand, and maybe she's just as worried as Louis. Maybe she was hoping for a male omega. She nods and they walk to the nearest bathroom, which is thankfully empty.
"Um, your tattoo," Louis starts slowly. "It didn't happen to change color yesterday, did it?"
"It did," Harry says slowly. "The other side filled in, too."
"Can I see it?" Louis asks, her heart pounding angrily in her chest. She could easily pass out right now.
Harry lifts up her shirt and shows her tattoo, identical to Louis', on her left side, versus Louis' right. Louis bursts into tears.
"Louis? Are you okay? Why are you crying?"
She lifts up her own shirt, showing off the same exact tattoo, and sobs harder. Her soulmate is a girl.
"I guess you're my soulmate, then," Harry says softly. Louis nods and wipes her eyes.
"I guess there's no denying that," she sniffs, rolling down her shirt as Harry does the same.
"Are you okay?" Harry asks again.
"I'm fine," Louis lies. "Guess I'm just relieved. Found you after only being sixteen for a week."
"You're a baby," she grins. "I'm 18, so I've been waiting, but not for long. Now you don't have to worry."
That's a lie. Louis is more worried now than she was before. Great. "Yeah."
"Wanna grab lunch together? Get to know each other?"
"Sure," Louis replies. She can at least sit down for lunch. It's not like they're going to have sex, or anything. Well, not yet, she thinks to herself. She doesn't think she has much of a choice in the matter. It's already been written in the stars, and, well, in the ink on their skins.
They walk to the small cafeteria set up for the contestants, Harry kind enough to pay for Louis' lunch. They sit down across from each other, and Louis feels so self-conscious, so anxious and small. She feels like she needs to be submissive for this alpha, who's, technically, her alpha. She doesn't know what to do, what to say.
"You're scared of me," Harry says, like it's obvious. It probably is.
"Um, am I supposed to be?" Louis asks hesitantly, and Louis isn't sure if Harry is about to laugh or cry.
"No," Harry says quietly. "I don't...want you to. I'm not like that."
"All alphas are," Louis says quietly. She internally panics that she may have said the wrong thing, upset Harry so much that she could be angry enough to do something awful to Louis. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Harry shrugs sadly. "I know alphas can be shit, but...I promise I'm not. I'm nothing like most of them. You're the last person I want to think I'm a bad person. I would never treat you badly, and I don't want you to be...afraid of me."
"Sorry," Louis mumbles, pulling apart her sandwich and not making eye contact.
"Louis," she says softly, and Louis bites her lip and looks up. Harry looks hurt. "Please don't think of me that way. I mean, if we're going to make our relationship work, you can't be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you, ever. I'm not that kind of person. You're supposed to be my mate, why would I ever want to hurt someone so special?"
"I dunno," Louis mumbles. "Alphas do it, sometimes."
"We're not all like that. You may have had a bad experience with an alpha, maybe, but don't think I would do anything to hurt you. You don't know me yet, and I don't know you, but fate wants us together. You could at least give me a chance, give us a chance."
Louis doesn't really know what to say to that. It's been a crazy twenty-four hours, and she didn't sleep well last night, and now her soulmate in front of her, a female alpha. Then there's the whole X Factor ordeal, of course. She's barely thought about that, truth be told.
"I'm sorry," Louis says again. She can't find anything better to say. "I'm just...nervous, I guess. I wasn't planning to be mated...this early."
She doesn't want to say 'to a girl', so she chalks her nerves up to her age.
"Well, we don't have to rush into anything," Harry promises. "We'll be friends. There's no rush, we're young. When you're ready and sure, we can move further. No one is asking us to mate right now, no one is asking us to have babies, we've got so much time. This is just us getting along, becoming friends and getting to know each other. That's it."
Louis takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment. She thinks about that, thinks about taking their time, getting used to each other, growing together, rather than being forced together. She thinks maybe she could just get used to it, adjust to the idea of being with a girl. Maybe it wouldn't be terrible. She could at least be friends with Harry, she owes her that.
"You're right," Louis sighs. "I'm sorry for...you know, how I acted. Just a lot to handle, with the auditions and us and everything."
"It's been intense," Harry agrees. "But we'll get through it. We'll support each other. I heard your audition, by the way. You were incredible."
"I wasn't," Louis shakes her head. "I ruined that song."
"If that were true, the judges wouldn't have picked you. They all said yes to you! You did great."
"Thanks," Louis blushes. "I, uh, saw yours too. It was incredible. I don't know why Louis said what he said, because you were perfect. Really pretty song choice, too."
"Thanks," Harry grins. "At least I got through. All that I cared about."
"You're going to make it really far," Louis tells her. "Like, final contestants, I'm telling you. Even if you don't, you'll be famous, I just know it. I have this gut feeling."
"I hope you're right," Harry smiles a little. "But I doubt it. I just did this whole thing to see if I could do it, I guess."
"Well, you definitely can," Louis tells her honestly. "Have some faith in yourself."
"Only if you do," Harry smiles. Louis gives her a nod and a hint of a smile.
"Fair enough."
~
They don't get through, this time.
Harry and Louis look at each other when their names aren't called for the next round, and Harry's eyes are shiny with tears. Louis hasn't allowed herself to get too excited, so she isn't all that surprised, but Harry, Harry was supposed to make it. She was supposed to make it big, and she didn't even make it to the next round. It's an injustice, is what it is.
Louis walks towards Harry as they get off the stage, squeezing her wrist comfortingly. Harry's eyes blink down at her in surprise.
"I'm so sorry. You should have gone through, they're all bloody idiots. You don't need them or this show, Hazza. You're going to make it, I know it," Louis blabbers on, her cheeks flushing at the weird nickname that just flooded out of her mouth. She has no idea where it even came from. Harry's lips tug up, just barely, at it. Louis relaxes a little bit.
"Thanks, but I don't see the point in even trying," Harry shrugs. "I'm obviously not good enough."
"But you are!" Louis argues. "They make mistakes on this show all the time! Don't you watch it? There are so many artists that didn't win and should have. You can make it without this show. You have the talent."
"So do you, though," Harry says, biting her puffy, pink lip. She's got fantastic lips, speaking objectively, of course.
"Nothing compared to you," Louis shakes her head. "Fuck them."
"I can at least thank them for allowing me to meet my soulmate," Harry says quietly, and Louis' chest warms. If the both of them didn't try out this particular year, Louis doesn't know if they would have crossed paths. It's amazing how fate works, she thinks.
"You're right about that."
~
Before they have a chance to leave the arena, their names are called, along with three others. Louis and Harry look at each other briefly, and look at the other three girls looking just as confused.
"What, they want to criticize us and make sure we know why we won't be coming back? Do they want to see us all cry?" Harry says, sounding angry. The alpha in her, Louis assumes.
The girl with the black hair looks back at Harry. "They wouldn't, would they?"
"Who knows with them?" Harry says bitterly. "Simon Cowell is no Mother Teresa. He's made plenty of people cry, and we won't be the last."
She's right, is the problem. It's plausible. Anything for good TV, probably. After the day she's had, she would much rather go home and sulk in the privacy of her own home, and not in front of cameras.
They all step out onto the stage, a blonde girl standing between her and Harry. Louis wishes they were standing next to each other; she could use some support, even if it's just a few brushes of skin.
"Hello again, girls," Simon says. He doesn't look too evil, at least not at this second. Maybe it's not what Harry thought, maybe it's good news. "I'm sure you're wondering why we wanted you to come back. You're all very good singers, and I believe you could do really well, but maybe not as solo artists. We've decided to put you in a band. So, get comfortable, because you'll be here a bit longer than you thought."
Louis doesn't know what to do with that information, actually. The other four girls are celebrating around her, letting out a few tears. Louis looks over at Harry who's dropped into a squat, her face in her hands. When she stands up, Louis runs to her and leaps in her arms, and she catches her as if it happens every day. Louis doesn't know why she does it, because it's definitely out of character for her, but here she is, her legs around her waist and Harry's arms around hers. It just feels right, really. It was a heat of the moment sort of thing, and Louis can't be blamed for her actions.
"Told you," Louis whispers brokenly into Harry's ear. "Gonna be a proper star, you."
"Yeah, well, looks like you're coming with me."
Louis smiles and Harry sets her down. They smile at each other stupidly before they huddle with the other three girls, hugging. It doesn't matter if they don't know each other, because it sounds like they'll have plenty of time to later on. They all introduce themselves, saying their name and their hometowns, and standing around awkwardly for a moment.
"So...what are we gonna wear?" the girl with dark hair asks. Zayn, her name is, Louis reminds herself. The blonde, Niall, looks Louis up and down and speaks up.
"I like her shoes. We should dress like her."
Louis looks down at her scuffed up black TOMS, ripped jeans, and grey cardigan. She has no idea why they would want to all look like her, honestly.
"We've got time to worry about that," Liam says. "We should probably hang out and figure out what the hell to sing, to see if we can actually sing well together or if they made a huge mistake."
"Positive attitude," Louis jokes.
"We can go to my dad's bungalow," Harry says. "Like, get to know each other, sing some songs together, have fun."
"That's a great idea," Louis supports. It's probably best that they learn to get along before being in a band together to avoid any sort of clashes. If they want to have any sort of chance at this, they have to get along first.
~
Spending time together in the bungalow was actually a great idea. It's so much fun for them all, and even though they don't get a whole lot of work done, it doesn't matter, because they made a lot of memories.
Louis is curled up in a sweatshirt and a beanie, a blanket thrown over her legs as Niall strums her guitar. They mess around with a few different songs, trying to get a feel for what kind of music they'd be singing. They all have different taste, so it's annoying, at first, but when they do find the right songs, it sounds great. Like, amazing. Louis has a small ounce of hope in her belly, blossoming with every perfect pitch.
"We're...good?" Louis says.
"Don't sound so surprised," Zayn snorts.
"I didn't know if it would work," she says honestly. "I didn't want to get my hopes up if we were shit."
"We're not, though," Niall says confidently. "We're good."
"We might actually have a shot at this," Harry says. "Like, if we work hard, and have fun, people might like us?"
"I like us," Niall shrugs. "Others will, too."
"We'll have to work hard, though," Liam reminds them. She's really serious, Louis notices, and they haven't really gotten along so far. Louis doesn't hate her, or anything, but they haven't been seeing eye to eye. Louis likes to have fun, and Liam just wants them to work for success. Louis thinks if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, they'll move on.
"We need to have fun, too," Louis reminds her, bringing her knees up to her chest and fixing her beanie over her head. "Without fun, people won't like us. We'll be too serious and professional and not likable."
"Lou's right," Harry says. She's sitting next to her, but they have a distance between them, so Louis doesn't feel too freaked out. This time with her, though, has made Louis like her a lot. She's kind and funny and sweet. They get along really well. Like, it's insane how easily they fall into conversation, how easy they can talk and how it feels like they've known each other a lot longer than just a couple of weeks.
"We'll make it work," Zayn shrugs. "Whatever happens happens."
"Good attitude!" Louis says cheerfully. "Love you already, Zayn!"
Zayn grins happily.
"We should probably talk about the elephant in the room," Liam says slowly.
"What elephant?" Louis squints her eyes. "Everything seems fine to me."
"Our, um...genders," Liam coughs awkwardly.
"Oh," Louis deflates. Probably is something they should discuss, really. Actually, Louis and Harry should tell them about the whole soulmate thing.
"Liam," Zayn hisses. "It's not our business."
"No," Harry shakes her head. "That's okay, she's right, we should talk about it. It's glaringly obvious to everyone and we should figure out how to handle it. Yeah, I'm an alpha. And you three are betas."
"And Louis an omega," Liam motions awkwardly. "Isn't that...?"
"Um, actually-" Harry clears her throat, ready to speak up, but Louis beats her to it.
"We're soulmates. So, either way, it would happen," Louis shrugs, trying not to think about it too much.
"What?" Niall asks, shocked. "How did that happen?"
"Like it normally does," Louis shrugs. "We met in the toilets, and when I got home I noticed my tattoo was colored and full. I only had half when I turned sixteen, and apparently, so did Harry, but when we met they filled in. They were two halves that completed each other. When we saw each other the next day I asked if hers filled in and turned color, and when we went to the bathroom together, we figured it all out."
"What are you going to do about it?" Zayn asks quietly, seemingly stunned. "That's fate. Like, actual fate. You met in a bloody toilet during an audition for something that was a long shot."
"We're going to be friends," Louis shrugs again.
"Friends?" Niall shakes her head. "That's shit. This is huge! You're so young and already found each other. You can't tell me you're going to spend all this time together and be in a band and then just be friends."
"It's new to us," Harry explains for Louis, because Louis is positive that if Louis was okay with it, Harry would already have a mating mark on Louis' neck. "We want to get to know each other first. We'll be friends, and if things work, we'll go further. It's no big deal."
Louis plays with her fingers. She doesn't like talking about it. She doesn't like thinking about her fear of her sexuality, of what being soulmates with Harry means. It's a demon she hasn't been able to face yet. She's friends with Harry, best friends, really, but that's as far as she allows her thoughts to go, or as far as she tries to let them go.
Zayn shares a look with Louis, almost as if she knows, understands. Louis bites her lip and looks away.
"Will it cause any issues between us? Like, band wise?" Liam asks.
"Why would it?" Harry asks. "We're just friends."
"For now," Liam reminds him. "What about later on? If you end up a couple?"
"We'll deal with it when we get there," Harry says, almost annoyed. "Let's just get past the first week, yeah? We have bigger things to focus on."
Louis bites the inside of her cheek and doesn't reply. It's tense and awkward for a moment, but Niall speaks up first.
"Well, I think I'm going to head to bed," she yawns. "'m pooped."
"Yeah, me too," Liam says. "Been a long day."
"Right," Harry agrees.
They say their goodnights, and Niall, Liam, and Harry head off to bed. Louis stands and stretches her back, ready to say her goodnight to Zayn, but she puts a hand on her wrist to stop her.
"Can we talk?" Zayn asks quietly. Louis has a funny feeling in her belly, wants to tell her no, thanks, and go to bed, but she thinks it's better to talk to Zayn. Maybe she needs someone to talk to about this, let out some of her fears and frustrations.
"Sure," Louis says, sitting back on the couch and Zayn sitting next to her. "What's up?"
"You're the one who suggested being friends with Harry," Zayn says like she already knows.
"How do you..." Louis trails off, eyes wide and confused.
"Because I see the way she looks at you," Zayn tells her. "Like, she desperately wants to kiss you and protect you and mate you. But you look at her like you might want to, but you're too afraid. Something is holding you back from making any sort of progress. I can tell. So, what's up? Why won't you let yourself be with her?"
"I'm not gay." It tumbles out of Louis' mouth before she can even process it. Now it's out in the open, and someone other than herself knows her fear, knows her awful, homophobic fear. Well, she's already gotten this far, might as well let it all out. "I don't think I can be with a girl. When I imagined meeting my mate, I thought of a big strong guy who could protect me and hold me against walls and all that.; someone strong and rugged with facial hair. That's how I've been imagining it but then I met Harry and...everything got really fucking complicated."
"So," Zayn says slowly. "You won't follow what path fate has so nicely led out for you...because you don't want to date a girl?"
"I don't know," Louis groans. "It's not...what I pictured."
"Life doesn't go as planned, Louis. Ever. Look at this situation we're in now. No one could have guessed we'd be here, especially in a band full of strangers. You've never been with a girl, so why are you so against it?"
"Because it's weird!" Louis cries. "I don't want to be looked at differently because of it. I don't want to be with another girl."
Zayn pauses for a moment. Louis feels her heart beating rapidly in her chest, and she wants to crawl out of her skin. She feels horrible for what she said, for what she thinks. It's homophobic and disgusting and she wants to get passed it, she does, but she doesn't know if she can.
"The truth of the matter is, Harry is your soulmate. There's a reason you two were given to each other. There's no mistakes when it comes to this stuff," Zayn says softly. "If you would just give her a chance, your homophobia might go away. You're just so set on not being with a girl that you won't let yourself be happy. You'll never find anyone better than your soulmate, and that's just...a fact. You're so much better off following fate and being with your soulmate, because there's always good reasons for them being yours. Don't start questioning it. Go with it, relax, and seeing how it goes."
Zayn is right, is what sucks. There's no relationship he knows of that works out well when they aren't soulmates. There's always something missing from it, something keeping them from being completely immersed in love. From what she's learned, being with your soulmate is the best feeling to ever have. It's intimate, and of course there's problems, but there's always a certain connection, a connection so strong and powerful. Louis has wanted that sort of connection for so long, and now, here it is, the beginning impressions of it, and she's forcing away from it. She hasn't allowed herself to feel it, to let the connection submerge them, drown happily in it.
"I'm going to talk to Harry," she whispers, barely about to hear her voice in her own ears. Zayn's small smile lets Louis know that she heard it.
"I think that's a good idea. I'll support you both, no matter what Liam says. She's just uptight, is all. Our potential success isn't as important as yours and Harry's bond. You might not think so, but it'll be the most important part of our lives, and you deserve it. You're both so lucky it happened early, so now you have so many years to be together. Don't let this whole band thing stop you from loving. Even if on the off chance we do make it big, you and Harry being together won't affect anything. It'll make no difference."
"Thanks, Zayn," Louis smiles softly. "I really like you already."
"I feel the same," she smiles back. "Glad we got put into this together. Don't think I'd be able to handle all of this stress alone."
"Me either," Louis says. "Well, I should go talk to Harry, and you should get to bed. Liam is probably going to make us work tomorrow."
"Yeah," Zayn snorts.
"We'll have to corrupt her a bit, I think."
Zayn smiles, and they share a hug before going their separate ways.
Louis stands at Harry's door for a long moment, contemplating if she should go through with it or not. Rationally, she knows she has to. There has to be a point in time where they have the full length conversation on this whole thing, where Louis confesses that she's scared, terrified, of being with another woman. The thought of the conversation isn't very appealing, but the thought of ruining her relationship with Harry, platonic or romantic, is even less appealing. That thought is actually gut wrenching. They've already gotten so close, already made memories together, and Louis would rather have the awkward conversation and discomfort than lose Harry all together.
She knocks on the door.
"Lou? You alright?" Harry asks after opening the door, her eyes looking concerned and worried. Zayn is so fucking right. Harry looks at Louis like she wants to kiss her, protect her, and love her, and Louis isn't giving her the chance to do any of those things.
Louis squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath. She can do this, she just needs to find confidence, and let fate work its magic. Like Zayn said, she shouldn't be questioning it. She needs to let it happen.
She stands on her tiptoes, enough to press a soft kiss to Harry's lips. She's only kissed one other person; a boy from school, and it wasn't like this. Well, of course not, because he obviously wasn't her soulmate. Harry is. And she can feel it in the kiss. It's brief, but it's short and tender, and Louis can feel a future in it. She can see herself doing it every day until she dies.
Louis stands back on her heels, blinking up at Harry and waiting for her to say something, anything. Harry's eyes stay closed for a moment, her lips parted. When she looks at Louis, there seems to be so many words she wants to say, but can't figure out what.
"Let's talk," Louis murmurs, taking Harry's hand and bringing her inside. Harry looks like she's ready to stroke out.
They sit on the bed across from each other, their legs crossed. Louis sighs and ties her hair up in a messy bun on her head to occupy her hands.
"So...you going to explain what that was?" Harry asks. "Or am I going to sit here slightly aroused and confused forever?"
"Sorry," Louis smiles a little. "I dunno how to talk about this."
"Well, you can start by telling me why you did that."
"Because I like you and you're my soulmate," Louis says simply. "Zayn and I talked. The only reason I'm holding back is because I...I didn't think I would end up with...with..."
She doesn't want to say the words. She doesn't want to hurt Harry by saying 'I didn't want to fall in love with you because you're a girl and I'm a girl and I don't want that'. It's not fair to her, and the last thing she wants is to cause Harry any pain.
"It's because I'm a female alpha," Harry says quietly. She sounds hurt anyway. Great.
"I just didn't expect it," Louis bites her lip and fidgets with her hands. "I never thought of the possibility. I mean, female alphas aren't common. I've never actually met another besides you and I was scared. But Zayn made me realize if I never give it a chance I'll never be happy. It's only because I'm scared. I don't want to be scared anymore."
"Louis, why didn't you tell me?" Harry whispers, taking her hands in her own so she'd stop playing with them. "I would have understood. I'm sure it was shocking for you. I sort of made my peace with it a long time ago because chances are I wouldn't get a male omega because, like female alphas, there aren't many. But I didn't want a guy, anyway. I already knew that either way I liked girls, and hopefully I'd get one. You didn't have that time to mull it over and think about it. I understand you're scared, and it's a whole different world, but I promise you, I'm going to take good care of you and I'm going to make you happier than any other alpha could."
Louis smiles, her eyes wet with tears. She's still terrified, her stomach still in anxious knots, but she knows it'll all pass soon. She knows she's just being irrational and stubborn. Once she gets used to it, lets it happen, she'll be on Cloud 9.
"I know you will."
~
The five of them become One Direction, who place third in X Factor, and Simon Cowell signs them to his label, regardless of not winning. The whole thing was like a dream; a long, elaborate dream. But they did it, the five of them, and now they're recording their first album. It's all a bit mad.
Louis and Harry haven't kissed again. They're taking baby steps. They're working on being friends first, because Louis is still scared, still nervous and shy, and Harry respects her.
Louis wants to move forward, wants to tell Harry she's ready to be a couple, to be her mate, but she can't do it. She isn't in that place yet, isn't ready for such a big step. So, they're taking baby steps to get there, and they will, eventually.
They move in together, because really, they've gotten so close, and moving away from each other after being in the X Factor house didn't seem right. More often than not, they sleep in the same bed, sharing clothes and not having many boundaries. They're comfortable, and they're happy.
"I'm ruining this whole song," Louis mumbles, taking off her headphones, frustrated. She hates how her voice sounds, hate how awful she is in comparison to the other four. She doesn't even deserve to be apart of such a talented group.
"Louis," Harry says softly beside her, putting her hand on her lower back comfortingly. "You're just nervous. You're doing great. Close your eyes, pretend no one else is here, and sing. You're getting into your head. Try it again, just like I told you."
Louis sighs and puts her headphones back on. She closes her eyes and takes a few calming breaths, pretending she's alone in the shower. She starts to belt out their song I Want. Louis wasn't given a ton of solos for the album, and neither was Niall, but Louis was grateful about it, to be honest. Her voice wasn't ready for too many solos. Harry, though, Harry was amazing. She was ready for this, one hundred percent.
This song, though, she does have a small solo, and she tries to give it her all. When she opens her eyes, Harry is grinning at her, and so are the other girls.
"Amazing," Harry smiles. "Just have to get into the right headspace. You nailed it, love."
Louis flushes at the compliment. "Thank you."
She feels a lot more confident the rest of their recording session. Harry's trick definitely works well. Harry praises her the rest of the day, and Louis doesn't stop smiling.
~
When their album comes out, it's more successful than any of them could have ever imagined. Their fame was startling, and a bit overwhelming. Louis felt like she was drowning most of the time, but Harry was there as her anchor, keeping her afloat. Louis is so grateful she's going through the same exact thing, can understand the same feelings and can be there through every step of the way.
They have a tour set up, all over Europe and even America, which seems insane. Louis doesn't understand how they've gotten so big so quickly. They're just five girls who are uncoordinated and act ridiculous more often than not. It's mind-boggling that people like them this much.
Their management is strict, though. Apparently, it would cause too much trouble if everyone knew Louis was an omega. They're taking all these precautions just to make sure no one figures it out. They make her wear special masking perfume so she doesn't have that omega scent and has to take high-end suppressants. They obviously can't hide Harry's, though, because she's got an obvious bulge that can't be hidden very well, so it's no use. Management's biggest concern, though, is not allowing people to know that Harry and Louis are soulmates. They fear that people will make assumptions about an omega and alpha being in the same band, and could possibly worry about Louis for it. Plus, Louis being an omega would put her at more risk for being assaulted or raped by strange alphas. It's mostly for her protection, Louis knows, but it still upsets her. It makes her feel too different and too much of an outcast.
"Louis?" Harry asks gently in the car. They're on their way to rehearsals for their first show, and Louis has been distracted since leaving their management team's office. Louis looks beside her to look at Harry, and Harry laces their fingers together. Louis shivers slightly at the contact. She still isn't quite used to their relationship, even after so many months of being with each other nonstop. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Louis tries to smile. "Sorry, nerves."
"Upset about the meeting?" Harry asks softly, and Louis shrugs halfheartedly.
"I guess so. Just sucks that I have to be so protected. They'll never let me out anywhere alone," Louis sighs.
"If I come with you, then it won't matter. I can protect you and it'll just look like two friends going out. We'll figure out how to manage it, darling," Harry murmurs, and she sounds so sure of herself that it makes Louis feel warm all over. She needs someone strong to lean on, and Harry is always there as her rock. Always.
"Right," Louis nods shortly. "I know. It's overwhelming, I guess. I know I'll be fine, though."
"You've always got me, love," Harry smiles softly, giving her hand a squeeze. "I'll be here with you figuring it out and protecting you."
"I know you will," Louis smiles a little. "Thank you."
The other girls pretend they aren't listening, but Louis can see Zayn smiling a little. Louis knows she's happy about their progress. Louis is more comfortable with Harry every day, warming up to the idea of them together, becoming okay with the thought of being mated to her. She can feel herself getting better. Soon, she'll be ready, she knows it.
~
Their concerts are usually Louis' favorite part of the day. She gets such a thrill, such a high from performing for so many people. It's hard for her to place her energy somewhere else, to figure out what to do with all that pent up adrenaline. Sometimes she just runs around wherever available, or goes out to a bar with Harry, dancing her energy away.
It's good, and they're so, so good. Louis gets closer and closer to Harry, sharing hotel rooms driving in the same cars to venues. They share dressing rooms and help each other get ready, deciding on outfits and hairstyles for the night. Louis never gets bored of her, and never wants to be away from her. She thinks she's falling in love.
Their time in America is amazing. Louis has never been, and now she gets to see all these beautiful places with her best friends, and her favorite person in the world. Honestly, it's the best job there is.
The one downside is getting through her heats alone. She can't ask Harry, refuses to let her altered state make that kind of choice. If she feels it coming, she gives Harry a warning, and Harry sets her up comfortably with plenty of food and water and has one of the girls check in on her every so often. They both know Harry couldn't handle being in the same room as an omega in heat, so she does her best from the outside. The same happens when Harry goes into her ruts, and they have a pretty good system down.
During her heats, all she does is picture Harry. The last time, she even caught herself moaning Harry's name through an orgasm, flushing deeply and trembling with it. She felt embarrassed, worried, but somehow lighter. It felt like a small weight off of her shoulders, like a relief. It's like a part of her is starting to get comfortable with it, starting to accept her fate. It's not so bad.
Harry likes to spoil her, likes to bring her out to dinner and buy her unexpected presents, and really, it's probably more than any boyfriend would have done. Harry knows what she likes, knows what she doesn't like, and even though they both have different taste, Harry knows Louis so well. They just sort of fit. They work together so seamlessly, and Louis can feel herself fall harder with each touch, each look, each breath.
It's been an entire year together. Louis can't believe how quickly it went by, how much they've achieved in so little time. They just finished their Up All Night tour, and they're already finishing up a second album. It's all mad, and Louis feels like she's on top of the world.She knows she would have never been here without Harry, never would have felt as good as she did without Harry by her side every step of this insane journey. They've helped each other adjust, get over homesickness, and make a home within each other while being everywhere but.
They finally finished their last concert of their tour, meaning they could get home and rest for a while before having to start promotion for their next album. Louis can't wait to get back to their flat, their nice, cozy home Harry and her have made. She wants to wear sweats all day long with her hair in a messy bun and catch up on all her favorite shows. She wants to not leave the house for days on end and eat whatever she wants when she wants. Most importantly, she wants to be alone with Harry. She wants Harry all to herself for as long as she can have her.
"Can't wait to be home," Louis sighs when they come off the stage, stretching her arms.
"It's been a long tour," Harry agrees, pulling Louis' shirt down where it's riding up on her back. "Don't forget anything. We'll be back in London by tomorrow and we don't need to leave the house."
"Ah, that's exactly what I wanted to hear," Louis grins, turning around to face Harry. "I plan to not leave our bed for quite a while. Probably sleep for a solid twenty-four hours."
"That sounds lovely," Harry agrees. "Try to get some sleep on the plane, too."
"I'll give it a shot," Louis agrees.
Once they're on the plane, Louis ends up feeling anxious and jittery. She's not sure if it's because she's excited about going home or if she's more excited to be home with Harry. Either way, she's unable to sleep, while Harry is dead to the world beside her. She's always been able to fall asleep anywhere at any time, Louis has learned, and Louis is quite jealous. She's has had a lot of issues sleeping, whether it being falling or staying asleep, especially when she's feeling particularly uneasy or stressed, which, unfortunately, has been happening a lot this past year.
She tries to pass the time by fucking around on her iPad and listening to music and pulling pranks on Liam from across the aisle. She tries to fall asleep multiple times, curls in on herself and closes her eyes, finding a comfortable position and failing miserably, so she gives up on it all together. Maybe once she gets home in her own place, their own place, in their shared bed, with Harry beside her, sleep will come easier.
Thankfully, they do eventually land, but Harry is still asleep, making Louis smile. She loves her sleep more than anything. Louis has to nudged her awake gently, even though she hates doing it. She's so cute when she sleeps, her lips pouty and face peaceful. Touring has been exhausting for them all, and it's finally hitting them like a ton of bricks. Louis hates to disturb her right now, bring her out of such a deep, needed slumber, but all she wants is to bring Harry back home with her.
"Haz? Haz, we're home," Louis says softly. "Well, London. Get off your lazy bum and we'll be home as soon as we can."
Harry smiles with her eyes closed, yawning and opening her eyes to smile at Louis. She searches for her hand and Louis helps her get to it, giving it a squeeze.
"Home."
~
It feels like it takes a week just to get back to their flat, with all the baggage claims and waiting for their driver and the London traffic. Louis is simultaneously heavy with sleep and anxiously energetic. Harry holds her hand, though, trying to level her off and it works to some degree. Louis can tell Harry is ready to start where she left off on the plane, but she's keeping her eyes open for Louis' sake.
Louis has never been more grateful to be home. It smells like they never even left. Harry has all those wall plug-ins that smell like baked cookies or apple spice or whatever the hell else she could find, and Louis has related them all to the smell of home. It's so comforting.
"Bed," she nearly moans, leaving her bags by the door and dragging herself into their room. She hears Harry giggle behind her, and she's fairly certain Harry is behind her dragging their luggage for her. She's too good for Louis, honestly.
"Put your pajamas on and get into bed," Harry says softly. "We can sleep as late as we want tomorrow."
"Good," Louis hums."That's all I've wanted all tour long."
"Want tea?"
"If you don't mind," Louis says quietly. She loves tea at any time of the day, but right before bed is the best. It makes her insides warm and lets her wind down so she can fall into a more restful sleep. She certainly deserves that much after their past few months.
Harry plants a kiss on her forehead and gives her hip a squeeze before exiting the room. Louis takes the opportunity to get out of her clothes that reek of airport and plane and toss it somewhere on the floor, too exhausted to even bother with it. She throws on one of Harry's oversized shirts that falls down to her thighs and leaves it at that. She crawls into their bed, the sheets crisp and fresh. Harry changed them right before they left so they wouldn't have to worry about dirty sheets when they got home. She's a genius.
Louis closes her eyes and sighs deeply, thinking about the past year of her life, of their lives. Everything has gone so fast that it doesn't feel like an entire year, and she vaguely wonders if life will ever slow down for them or if this is it. She hopes it's not. She loves the gigs, loves her girls and especially loves Harry, but she also wants a future that includes a stable family with babies and maybe a dog. This life is fun and exciting and new, but she doesn't think she wants it forever. She hopes Harry agrees, and they can settle down together. Louis decides then, after a year that has felt like both an eternity of struggle with sexuality and a quick snap of a finger around the world, that she does love Harry. She loves her, and not just in the best friend sense of the word. She loves Harry with everything she is. She loves the way they fall asleep together, the way Harry's eyes flutter closed on their own accord, the way she'll fall asleep in the middle of speaking a sentence when she's dead tired. She loves the way they understand each other, even when they're making no sense to anyone around them. She loves the unspoken communication they have, and the strong bond that makes it nearly painful to be apart for too long a time. She loves the way they can stay inside all day without speaking a word and never be bored, never feel uncomfortable. She loves that being with Harry feels like home in the best possible way. Louis loves Harry and wants to be with her every day for the rest of their lives, and she's going to tell Harry exactly that. Louis loves Harry, and it should never have been more complicated than that.
When Harry comes back into their bedroom holding their steaming teas, Louis opens her eyes and sits up in bed, reaching for her Winnie the Pooh cup, while Harry's has Tigger. Turns out, as children, they both had a love for Pooh and his friends, and when they found the matching mug set, they fell in love and bought them. Louis took Pooh, Harry took Tigger. Louis took a sip and closed her eyes. Harry really did know her better than anyone else, and made her tea perfectly every time. It's truly a wonderful trait to have in a mate.
"I love you," Louis says, looking at the heat rising from her mug as she speaks.
"I love you too," Harry says with a small smile, turning her head to look at Louis. "You know that."
Louis gets frustrated. Of course they love each other, that's why they live together and share a bed, but Harry isn't understanding the way Louis needs her to. She sighs.
"No," she nearly whines. She needs Harry to get this. "I mean, I love you. Like, I want to be your mate."
Harry seems to freeze, then. Everything seems to click in that moment, and Louis feels instant relief when Harry's face breaks into a grin. God, does she love this girl.
Harry spends a long time just smiling at Louis, and Louis is smiling, but also needs a verbal response. She's starting to get impatient.
"So?"
"So," Harry grins wider, if that's even possible. "You're going to be my mate."
"Yeah," Louis smiles. She loves the thought. "I am."
"And you're okay with it? You're sure about this? You won't freak out and back out?" Harry asks tentatively, clearly afraid of losing Louis. Louis never wants her to fear that.
"I'm more than okay with this," Louis promises softly. "I'm in this for the long haul. But, I will say, I'm not ready to...you know, do everything all at once. I want to just...date first? Take it slow? I know you've already waited forever but-"
Before she can finish, Harry cuts her off with a soft kiss. Louis smiles into it and it shuts her up right away. She got so lucky.
"Don't worry about me," Harry says softly. "I want you to be completely comfortable with us. We'll wait ten years if you want to, Lou. I'm not going to make you rush into anything you're not okay with. You let me know when you're ready. We're going to be just fine, babe, I promise you."
"I love you so much," Louis whispers, putting her hands on Harry's neck and pulling her in for a kiss. "God, I'm sorry it took me so long, but I fucking love you."
"Sure this isn't the exhaustion talking?" Harry jokes.
"Absolutely not," Louis promises earnestly. "I was just thinking about the last year of our life and thought about...you know, settling down, eventually. Not right now, obviously, I can tell we've still got a long career left, or at least I hope so, but after that. I decided that I would very much like to be with you after and start a family."
"Yeah?" Harry is grinning again, just as big and bright as before. "Wanna have babies with me?"
"Lots," Louis grins. "Only if you'd like them with me."
"Lots," Harry repeats. "Thanks for falling in love with me."
"Been in love with you for a very long time," Louis admits. "Just couldn't adjust to it until now. But now I can, and I want everyone to know that I love you."
Harry tries to smile, a certain sadness in her eyes, and Louis softens. "But they can't know."
"Not right now," Louis says slowly. "But one day, everyone will know. And right now, only the important people should know, anyway. Like our families and the girls and everything. They matter more than anyone else."
"That's true," Harry gives a small nod. "That's a good point."
"One day," Louis promises softly. "The whole universe will know we're in love, and no one will take that away from us."
Harry kisses her again.
~
Louis falls into their relationship so easily. It happens so seamlessly, like nothing has changed, except now they kiss, and Louis happens to love kissing Harry. Sometimes, she's so overwhelmed with love for Harry. She'll watch Harry while she sleeps and sees her whole world in her. Harry is everything to her, and at this point, she doesn't care what happens to their careers, because as long as she's got this girl with her, nothing can go wrong.
The girls are thrilled, and somewhat relieved, because they finally figured this out and they're happy. Liam was wary, but when she saw how perfect they were for each other, how happy they make each other, she couldn't resist cooing.
The next year goes by quickly, filled with their second album and second tour and singing at the bloody Olympics. It's been pretty successful, if Louis says so herself. Harry and Louis have to try and restrain themselves from being too cozy with each other, and try and keep a platonic distance between them. It's not easy, because Louis wants to be burrowed into Harry's arms at all times of the day. She hates being so far away from Harry, hates the distance they have on stage, hates not being able to hold Harry's hand in front of the world, but when it's just them, in the privacy of each other, and Harry holds her and kisses her, it feels okay.
An entire year together. Louis can't believe how quickly it went, how happy she is and wonderful it's been. She's gone through her heats alone, though, because she wants to have her first time with Harry when she's perfectly coherent and wants it to be special. She never felt ready for it, anyway, and Harry would leave their apartment when Louis was going through her heat so Harry wouldn't be tempted. Louis didn't want Harry to see her in such a vulnerable position.
Now, though, after a year together, a year of growing with Harry, she thinks she's ready for it. No, she doesn't think, actually. She knows she's ready. She's ready for that step, ready for that level of intimacy and closeness. She wishes they could mate, too, but that isn't allowed right now, unfortunately, not until their management allows them to show their relationship to the world. It sucks, but knowing that one day it'll happen comforts her.
Louis decides she would love to do it on their anniversary. Maybe she's a hopeless romantic, but she loves the idea of taking such a big step in their relationship exactly a year after being together.
~
Louis' heart is a hammer, and she's convinced it's going to burst out of her chest at any second after one of its rapid beats. She always feels calm with Harry, so comfortable with her, but now it's different. Harry is sucking on the skin of her neck, and Louis is sure that she can feel the harsh thumping of her pulse under her lips. Louis wants this so bad, wants to belong to Harry in every way possible. Of course, they can't bond, which Louis craves most, but this seems just as good, at least for now.
"You're so gorgeous," Harry murmurs into her neck. "God, I love you so much."
"I love you," Louis gasps, running one of her hands through Harry's curly hair. She can't believe she ever thought this would be weird, that it would feel anything but right. She wishes it didn't take her so long to realize that this is exactly what she wants, needs, and deserves. This is it.
Harry's hands reach behind Louis' back, and Louis arches against the pillows so Harry can unhook her bra. She's already got her shirt thrown somewhere on the ground and now her chest is completely bare, exposed for Harry for the first time. She's always tried to hide her body from Harry as much as possible, so self conscious about it, but Harry's hands graze down Louis' sides and her thumbs press at her hipbones. The way Harry is looking at her, her eyes darker than normal, biting on her bottom lip and looking like she absolutely wants to ravish Louis, makes Louis feel more confident with herself. Maybe she is sort of hot after all.
Harry leans down and brushes the tattoo carefully, smiling fondly to herself. It is really a gorgeous tattoo, and represents them well, Louis thinks. Louis is always loud and bright and outgoing while Harry is calmer, softer. The ink on their skin shows that.
"I don't know how I got so lucky," Harry murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to the tattoo. "To get someone as amazing as you."
"'m not," Louis blushes softly. "Fucked up a lot in the beginning."
"You didn't," Harry says seriously, looking her in the eyes. "You were scared and I understand that. It's okay to be scared, Louis. But we made it through that and I'm so proud of you for overcoming those fears because I love us together. I could never love someone as much as I love you, baby."
"I love you so much," Louis sighs, pulling Harry in for a kiss. "You're always there for me no matter what kind of mood I'm in and that's so incredible of you."
"What I'm here for, babe," Harry says.
"I want you to make love to me," Louis whispers, twirling her finger around one of Harry's curls.
"I want that, too," Harry whispers back. "I've wanted it for so long."
"Thanks for waiting," Louis smiles softly at her.
"I'd wait forever for you," Harry says gently, kissing her again. Louis has never felt so ready for anything, even if her heart is still pounding and she feels a bundle of nerves in her belly, but it's a good kind of anxiety.
Louis pulls off Harry's shirt, feeling confident enough. She doesn't want to be the only one half naked here. That seems very unfair, really. Harry gives her some help getting her shirt off, and Louis fiddles with the back of her bra, making both of them giggle when Louis realizes it's a front clasp.
"Sorry, nervous," Louis blushes, still smiling. Harry just kisses her jaw in response, and Louis takes a deep breath and unhooks her bra, finally, helping Harry get it off. Harry presses their chests together, and Louis sucks in a breath. They touch all the time, but this is so much more intimate. Louis reaches down to unbutton Harry's jeans, needing more than this, needing it all.
"Please," Louis begs softly. Harry kisses her again, tugging off her pants and Louis', leaving them both completely bare. Louis gives Harry a onceover, her mouth gaping when she sees Harry's size. She never actually considered how big she might be, how it might actually hurt, a lot. But now that it's right in front of her, hard, thick, and long, she's shaking for a feeling more than excitement. Harry notices, of course she does, because she notices everything, and strokes her side.
"I'll be easy. We'll take it slow," she promises, and Louis nods stiffly. She trusts Harry with everything she has but...this seems extreme, now. She wants to be ready, knows she's ready, but now her confidence is wavering slightly.
"Louis?" Harry checks in softly, always wanting to make sure she's okay. Louis blinks up and gives Harry a small smile, telling her that yes, she's fine, and she's ready.
Louis confirms her readiness by spreading her legs and wrapping them around Harry's slim waist. She's much more narrow-waisted than Louis, who has curves and thicker thighs, but Louis knows she's needs the wider hips to give birth, and Harry doesn't need that. She feels sort of weird like this, so opened up and exposed, but the way that Harry looks at her, the way she touches her softly, makes Louis instantly relax, all tension leaving her muscles. She knows she's ready, even if she has to endure some pain first.
"Have you ever...done this?" Louis whispers. For some reason, this has never come up. Harry knows Louis is a virgin, since at this point, it's obvious, being that Louis was only sixteen when they met and she took so long to be comfortable. But Louis has never actually thought to ask Harry about her past.
"No," Harry says honestly. "I haven't."
"How do you know it'll be okay, then?" Louis asks quietly.
"Because I know I'm going to take care of you, and I know we'll get through it together."
That's a good enough answer for Louis, really. She nods and burrows further into the bed. "Okay. I'm ready."
Louis doesn't want to mess around with foreplay, at least not their first time. She'll be too anxious to sit through that sort of torture. She would rather get right to it. Plus, she knows the first time hurts the worst, and it'll feel better after this, so she wants this to be over so it'll keep getting better from here. Or, at least, she hopes so.
Harry leans over to their nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube and sitting up on her knees between Louis' legs. Louis watches her with hooded eyes, trying to let go of her fears and worries. Harry won't hurt her. Or, at least, she'll do her best to make it hurt as little as possible.
"I love you so much," Harry says quietly, sincerely. It's more of a promise than a confession, really. Louis feels it, feels the love Harry has for her in her core.
"I love you," Louis says back, just as sincerely. Harry takes Louis' hand in hers, kissing the back of it and giving it a comforting squeeze.
"Let me know if you need me to stop or slow down," Harry says seriously, locking eyes. "Promise?"
"Promise," Louis says, but honestly, she might hide a bit of pain just so she can get this over with and they can move on to it being better.
Harry lubes herself up, then spreads some over Louis' lips, making her shiver. She's never been touched down there by anyone, and it's too much and not enough. She bites her lip, chewing on it nervously, as she watches Harry pump at her cock.
"You're ready?" she asks softly, and Louis gives her a nod.
"Yeah."
Harry bites her own lip in concentration, carefully pushing the plump tip of her cock between Louis' wet lips. It's strange, definitely, and even stranger when Harry actually presses inside. Louis lets out the smallest of whimpers, but squeezes Harry's hand to assure her that she's fine. Harry moves slowly, very careful not to tear anything or hurt Louis.
It's a very slow process, and Louis does let some pained moans escape, but she breathes through it, and Harry kisses her pain away. Louis whines quietly into Harry's mouth, her hands now on Harry's shoulders, nails digging into her skin.
"You okay?" Harry pants, her balls pressed flush against Louis' skin. She almost feels like she's being ripped apart, but in the best way possible.
"Yeah," Louis gasps, nodding. "It's...good."
"Weird?"
"Weird," Louis agrees. "But a good kind."
Harry grins, kissing her, then kissing the column of her throat. "I can't wait to mark you. I' going to do it right here," she grazes her teeth over a spot, "so everyone can see you belong to me."
Louis whimpers quietly, throwing her head back a little further to give Harry more room. "I can't wait. Want that so bad."
"Me too," Harry says, carefully thrusting her hips into Louis, letting her get used to the new movement. Louis gasps, biting her lip to keep from making too much noise. "Lemme hear you."
Louis is a bit embarrassed, but she lets go of her bottom lip and allows herself to make noise. Harry grins at her, praises her for it, even, and moves her hips with a little more force, a little bit of a faster pace. It's a lot to take, and there is a dull ache to it, but it's good, and all of her senses are Harry. Her smell is everywhere, her touch making Louis shake with pleasure.She can't believe she waited this long to do something so incredible. She feels like a fool.
"I love you," Louis says again, like she can't say it enough. She wants Harry to know it, to never forget it. She feels like she needs to remind Harry, needs to make sure she never questions it, never feels like she's not loved every second of every day.
"I love you," Harry returns the sentiment, grinning. "Always."
"Always."
Their bodies continue to work together, tangled limbs and lips pressed to sweaty skin. Louis can feel a certain heat building in her belly, just like it does during her heats, except this is much slower, much better, than that. It creeps over her slowly, a flame spreading through her body, all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes.
"Harry," she moans, giving Harry's hair a soft tug. "Oh, god."
"I know," Harry says, thrusting harder, and Louis feels her knot swelling at the base of her cock. Louis has a brief moment of clarity, scared of how big it may be, how it could stretch her out and fill her up, but Harry sucks on Louis' collarbones and makes her forget all about her fears.
She cries out Harry's name as her orgasm washes over her, her back arching off the bed and her eyes squeezing shut. She feels like it lasts for hours, shivering and shaking through it, muscles tensing and relaxing. She hasn't even gotten down from the high before she's crying out in pain, though, Harry's knot popping painfully large inside of her.
"Shh, shh," Harry murmurs, kissing Louis through it, rubbing her thighs as a comfort. Louis whimpers in discomfort. She forces herself not to cry, trying to keep herself distracted with Harry's mouth.
She never really considered what being knotted might actually feel like. She doesn't think she'd be able to imagine something like this, anyway. It's impossible to, probably. It feels like there's been a softball shoved inside of her, along with Harry's already-big cock, making her feel so ridiculously full, so overstuffed. On top of it all, there's hot loads of semen pumping inside of her, no doubt going to result in her being bloated. It's all very overwhelming for her.
Harry helps her through it, though, coos at her, kisses her everywhere, praises her and compliments her. It's almost enough to distract her.
"You feeling okay? Is it too much?" Harry asks, looking concerned. Louis knows that if she could, she'd make the pain stop, pull out and end it, but they're sort of tied together for the next few minutes, so there's nothing they can do about it.
"Yeah," Louis whispers. "It's a lot."
"I know, baby," Harry murmurs, kissing her. "A little bit longer, then we can clean up and sleep, okay?"
"Okay," Louis sighs. She's suddenly hit with exhaustion. It's been a long night, really. She can't wait to be in Harry's arms, head between her breasts and fall into a deep sleep.
They kiss lazily as they wait for Harry's knot to go down, tongues twirling around, teeth biting lips. Louis feels so uncomfortably full, like she could burst at the seams, but thankfully, she feels Harry's knot start to go down, finally. Harry pulls out softly, and Louis sighs in relief.
"Alright, love?" Harry asks. She's so sweet, always checking in on her. It makes her warm inside.
"Wonderful," she promises softly. "Thank you for that."
"Thank you," Harry laughs softly. "That was more amazing than I could have dreamed."
"Same here," Louis grins. "You certainly know how to make a girl feel good."
"I also hurt you, though," Harry frowns deeply.
"Only for a little while, and that's not really your fault. It always hurts the first time. Now it's over, and the next time it'll be better, and even better after that."
"I like the way you think," Harry smiles. "We've got time to practice. Good thing we have three weeks off."
"Good thing," Louis says lowly, grinning wickedly. "Hope we don't have to leave the house too much, then."
"Trust me, I won't let you," Harry almost growls, and Louis laughs, pulling her into a rough kiss.
Louis is glad they waited.
~
When Louis is three days late for her heat, she's worried. When she's a week late, she panics. When she's 10 days late, she tells Zayn, and when she's 14 days late, she gets a pregnancy test.
Positive.
Of course.
It figures they're on tour, to top it all off. Zayn is with her, though, rubbing her back as she cries. She absolutely can't be pregnant. Not right now, not when she's got a career like this and she's not even allowed to be mated to Harry, not allowed to let people know they're together. This wasn't supposed to happen until they were ready. They would be settled down, living outside of London so they could raise their kids in the suburbs, mated and happy. Not right now, when they're still in the closet along with their relationship and they're touring the world. They can't handle a baby right now.
"Zayn, what am I supposed to do?" Louis sobs. They're squished into the tiny bathroom of the tour bus. Thankfully, the other girls are already in the hotel, Louis promising Harry she would be up soon. At least they have privacy.
"Hey," Zayn says gently. "Listen, we'll figure this out. We'll talk to management and find out how to do this. Everything will be fine, Louis. Don't stress about this. You and Harry love babies."
"I know that," Louis sniffs. "But we can't have one right now. I don't want to have a newborn on the road."
"So we cancel some shows," Zayn shrugs. "Postpone them, maybe. Everyone will understand that. No one will be angry."
"They might be," Louis argues. "Because it's with Harry."
"Fuck them if they are," Zayn says. "You're soulmates. Your happiness is the most important thing."
"Really think we can do this?" Louis whispers. She feels a bit of hope and excitement fill her belly. A baby. Harry's baby. Their baby.
Zayn smiles. "Yeah. I know we can."
~
Louis doesn't tell Harry right away. She wants to see the doctor first, make sure everything is okay, maybe surprise Harry with a sonogram. That would be cute. She's got an appointment set in New York so by the time they get there, it's all set up. They've got a few days off before the show and two days off after. They planned it so that they could get some time to explore the city more than they've gotten to in the past. They love New York. Plus, Louis heard the doctors were supposed to be great, so it all worked out.
She never made it to the doctor.
New York is crazier than they could have ever imagined. There's so many people, people there just to see them in hopes of getting a picture or a wave or something. Louis wishes they weren't there. She's flattered, of course, but she's in a fragile state right now, and all these people around are giving her anxiety.
It's just her, Zayn, and Liam. Niall and Harry would meet them at the hotel, and Louis was extremely unhappy about this, but finally let it go. She'd sit in their hotel room, looking up facts about pregnancy and babies, and wait for Harry to be by her side, hold her waist and kiss down her neck. That's the best way to unwind, Louis thinks.
But it's in front of the hotel when Louis truly panics. She's holding onto Liam and Zayn's hands, both of whom know about the baby and are being very protective about it. They're trying to weave themselves safely through the mob of fans, everyone screaming and flashes going off everywhere. Louis keeps her head down, afraid to look up, hoping that keeping her eyes on her feet will make it less scary. It doesn't work, though. She stills feels the anxiety weigh her down.
There's so much pushing, so much shoving, and before she knows it, she's lost Liam and Zayn's hands. The panic rises in her chest, nearly suffocating her. She gasps, her head snapping up and eyes searching for her girls. She can't see them, though. She curls in on herself, trying to keep walking, but before she even has a chance to take the next step, she's being shoved to the ground. She feels closed in, people getting even closer to her, not noticing her on the ground. There's feet kicking into her ribs, crowded around her body. She tries to yell, but no noise is coming out. She can't find her voice, can't find the strength to get up.
She blacks out and doesn't remember the rest.
~
Louis wakes up to the sound of Harry screaming. She's not close, Louis can tell even with her eyes closed. There's some sort of barrier, like a wall between them, but Louis can still hear her. The words are muffled, though, so she can't tell what's going on.
She physically can't open her eyes. It's like they're glued shut, or like they weigh a ton each. She has no idea where she has, the last memory she has is on the asphalt ground of the New York City streets. She remembers crying and being unable to move, unable to call for help, left completely helpless. There's beeping machines around her, so she assumes that, maybe, she's in the hospital. It would make sense at least.
Wait. The hospital. The baby.
She whimpers, trying to force her eyes open. She needs someone to come in, someone to talk to her and tell her what's going on, tell her if the baby is okay. She wants to scream at the top of her lungs, scream until someone comes into her room, but again, she's left speechless. She doesn't know why she can't get herself to speak. Her mouth moves, a little, but no sounds come out. It's extremely frustrating.
Thankfully, she can at least open her eyes after a few minutes of struggling. They're heavy and hard to keep open, but she manages a glance around the room. It's empty, but that's probably because Harry is still outside yelling. Louis spots her outside the window of her room, the shades cracked enough to show her curly hair pulled back into a bun, her hands flailing wildly as she yells. She yells at their security guards, yells at the doctors, yells at the girls, and Louis can see her crying. Harry crying is not good. Why is she crying? What's wrong with Louis?
Harry takes a glance into the hospital room, pointing to it as she shouts, but her mouth stops moving when she sees Louis awake. Finally, Louis thinks to herself, someone to notice, to explain what the hell happened. She can't wait much longer.
Harry runs into the room, flinging the door open and rushing to Louis' side, letting out a loud sob and reaching down to kiss all over her face.
"Louis, god, Louis, you scared the shit out of me. Fuck, I should have been there, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I wasn't there."
Louis wants to respond, but still can't. She whimpers, and Harry visibly gets worried. "Nurse!"
A nurse comes in with purple scrubs and a stethoscope around her neck. "Louis, you're awake," she smiles softly.
Louis doesn't respond, can't respond. "She hasn't been able to say anything," Harry tells her, voice panicked. "She hasn't talked."
"She must be in shock," the nurse murmurs, starting to check Louis' vitals. "Louis, do you know where you are?"
Louis nods.
"Do you know how you got here?"
Louis hesitates, but shakes her head.
"Do you know why you're here?"
Louis nods.
"Are you in any pain?"
Louis shrugs. She is in a little bit of pain, but it's weird. She can't really place it, can't describe exactly what hurts and what it feels like.
"We'll have the doctor come in and talk to you about what happened, okay?" she says, and her voice is gentle, careful, as if she's afraid. No, no.
Louis just nods slowly, locking eyes with Harry. She feels tears well up in her eyes, the feeling of dread filling her bones already. She reaches her hand down and puts it on her belly, her belly that hasn't gotten the chance to grow yet. Harry watches her, and the small sob doesn't go unnoticed.
"Louis," Harry whispers. Louis looks up at her, her bottom lip trembling, waiting for an answer. Harry shakes her head and grabs Louis' hand. "I'm so sorry."
Louis sobs brokenly. She never got to see a sonogram picture, never got to feel a soft kick or watch her belly swell. None of this was fair. How could something as simple as walking to her hotel turn into something so awful, so gut wrenchingly painful?
She wants to explain everything to Harry, explain that she wanted to surprise Harry, to tell her in some sort of adorable way. She wasn't hiding it, not in a bad way, but now it looks like she was. She absolutely does not want Harry to think that. She opens her mouth, hoping to try and explain, but Harry shushes her.
"Don't, babe. It's alright, you need your rest. The doctor will see what's wrong, okay? Don't strain yourself."
Louis sighs but nods. Harry is probably right. Harry doesn't look angry, though, just full of concern and worry. Louis can feel the guilt in her gut weighing heavy, but they both need time to grieve, time to mull it over, before they get into details. They both deserve some time to digest this, to deal with it separately before dealing with it together.
"Why don't you try and nap, love?" Harry asks softly. Louis considers it, and she actually is still very tired. She feels the exhaustion weighing her down, and the sadness makes her heavier. She can't find her words, anyway, and there's no point in staying awake to look at Harry and feel the guilt eating away at her. It's probably best to sleep as long as she can, ignoring the burning pain within her.
She nods at Harry, sniffing loudly. She wipes under her eyes, drying off her cheeks from her salty tears. Harry presses a soft kiss to her forehead, stroking the hair on the back of her head.
"I love you so much, Louis," she whispers. "No matter what."
Louis just nods again, blinking up at Harry and hoping that she's able to convey the love she has for her with just her eyes. She presses a soft kiss to Harry's mouth, showing that she knows, and that she feels the same.
Harry sighs, kisses Louis one more time, and brushes Louis' hair out of her face. "I'm not angry, sweetheart. You were scared, and that's okay. Zayn told me you wanted to go to the doctor before you told me. You just wanted to be sure, and I understand that. Please don't think I'm mad at you."
Louis lets out another tiny sob, so in love with Harry. She knows Louis better than she knows herself, honestly, and hearing that she isn't angry, that she understands, is exactly what Louis needs right now. it settles her nerves the tiniest bit.
"I love you," Harry says again, kissing her again. "Try and sleep. I'll be right here, sweetie."
Louis takes Harry's hand and gives it a squeeze, a silent okay, a silent I love you.
~
When Louis wakes up again, she can hear hushed voices speaking, sounding like her girls. When she forces her eyes open, she's met with four pairs of eyes staring back at her, Harry's hand clasped in hers.
"Hey, love," Harry greets softly. "How are you feeling?"
"Little better," Louis says quietly, and sighs in relief when she realizes she can speak again. Harry looks as relieved as Louis feels.
"Got your speech back, too," Harry smiles faintly. "Just needed that extra sleep."
"Yeah," Louis agrees. She looks around and tries to smile at the other three girls. "You're all here."
"Where else would we be?" Liam asks. "I can't believe we lost you in that crowd. Jesus, I'm so sorry, we're so sorry. We looked for you but there were so many people, we couldn't see you anywhere. This is all our fault."
"Your fault?" Louis asks, shocked. "Of course it's not, Li. If anything, it's those fans who pushed me. There were too many people. It's not your fault that we lost each other. You did what you could, and I appreciate you looking out for me."
"I wish we could have done better," Zayn whispers sadly. "God, if we just...if we were able to help you-"
"Everything happens for a reason," Louis says quietly. "Maybe this just...wasn't the right time for us."
She spares a glance at Harry, who looks down at Louis' hand sadly, running her thumb over her knuckles. She hopes that it didn't come off as insensitive, but thinking there was a good reason for this is the best way for Louis to get through this. If there is a good reason the life inside of her that she already loved with everything she has was ripped away from her, maybe it would be less painful to come to terms with. Maybe.
"How...how exactly did it happen?" Louis asks quietly. "What did the doctor say?"
"Between the force of the fall, the kicks, the stress your body went through...it was too much to handle," Harry speaks softly. Louis takes in a sharp breath, feeling the tears fall down her cheeks again.
"Oh."
"You've got a few bruised ribs," Liam chimes in quietly. "And like you heard, you were in a state of shock for a while, but nothing too major. They said you should fully recover within the next few weeks."
Louis nods, but she can't feel grateful about it. Nothing major happened to her, but she lost her baby. That's the worst part of it all.
"We're all here for you," Niall tells her sincerely. "We'll help you through this. We're not going to let this ruin you."
Louis lets out a sob, and Harry squeezes her hand tightly. "That means a lot to me," she whispers. "Thank you for being here."
"Always," Zayn promises.
"Do you mind if I talk to Harry alone?" Louis asks.
"Go ahead," Niall says. "We're going to go down to the cafeteria and grab food. Do you want anything?"
"No, thank you," Louis answers, her stomach in all sorts of knots. There's no way she could eat right now.
She watches the girls leave the room, closing the door quietly behind them. Louis looks at Harry and sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm so sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for," Harry says sternly. "Don't ever apologize for anything."
"I didn't tell you when I first found out. I wasn't able to keep our baby safe. I've failed."
"You did not fail, Louis," Harry says, sounding frustrated and hurt. "There was nothing you could do to prevent something like this. Our line of work isn't exactly ideal. It's not the safest career choice."
"I still should have told you," Louis sniffs. "I just wanted to surprise you. I was gonna give you the sonogram or do something cute. I wasn't trying to hide it."
"I know that, love. That would have been lovely. I'm not upset with you. Please don't think that."
"I just wish I did a better job," Louis whimpers. "I...I really wanted a baby. I didn't think I did, but then...then we almost had one, and I was so excited."
"I know, sweetheart," Harry murmurs. "That's alright. We can always try again when we're ready. We'll do it right, I promise."
"Okay," Louis nods, closing her eyes. She's still so tired, like she could sleep for a straight 48 hours. She guesses it's the exhaustion of such a traumatic event.
"You still tired?" Harry asks.
"Yeah, really tired," Louis says, her voice slow.
"Go back to sleep, babe. We've got nowhere to be. Paul is already handling everything with management and the fans. We aren't leaving until you're feeling back to normal. I'm not letting you."
"Okay," Louis cracks a small smile. Typical Harry.
"Good."
She presses a kiss to Louis' mouth and brushes some hair behind her ear. Harry strokes her cheek and Louis purrs like a cat, nuzzling against her hand and falling asleep easily.
~
It's not easy to get back to herself, and she isn't sure she ever fully will. She thinks there will always be a small part of her that feels missing, and the same goes for Harry, as far as she can tell.
It's been a month, and they've cancelled all events for them to take some time to cope. Louis was actually shocked they would give them so much time. They made some excuse about Louis being sick; stress and dehydration causing her fall and them wanting to make sure she was fully recovered before having her out and about again.
Now, though, their month is over, and they have shows lined up for the next four months. They only had another three, but they have a month worth of shows they had to reschedule so they wouldn't let fans down. Louis understands that, because she knows they owe it to the fans to give them a show they paid for, but she also doesn't know if she's ready. She's been able to spend a whole month at home, more time than they've had at once since starting, probably. She got to stay in bed as late as she wanted; she was completely spoiled by Harry, getting breakfast in bed and being pampered with bubble baths and massages. She was given the chance to grieve in peace, and so was Harry.
"You're sure you're ready for this, babe?" Harry asks tentatively, helping Louis pack her bag. They're headed back to the US to start up where they left off, then go back to where they missed.
"I don't really have a choice," Louis shrugs sadly. "I'm sure that once I'm in front of the crowd again I'll be fine. I'll get used to it again."
"Yeah, maybe," Harry says, not sounding convinced but dropping it. "Do you have everything?"
"Yeah, I think so," Louis says. Her eyes fall to her nightstand, one of her drawers slightly open. She can see the cover of the pregnancy book she bought they day after she found out, and her eyes water. Harry doesn't know she has it, since she never even got to tell her, but she couldn't find it in her to toss it.
"Lou? Everything alright?"
"Yeah, sorry. Just trying to think of everything I need. I should be okay."
"Alright," Harry says, putting her hand on Louis' lower back, giving it a rub. "Let's go, then. The girls are probably waiting for us at the airport."
~
At the show, Louis is off, but that's to be expected. She does her best, tries to interact, sings as well as she can. Harry keeps glancing over at her and throwing her water bottles to keep her hydrated. If it were any other time, Louis would roll her eyes at her for being too overprotective, but right now, it just makes her feel loved and looked after. If it weren't for Harry, she would have never gotten through this past month, and she probably does need the reminders to do regular things like drinking water and eating three meals a day. Harry is always there to give her a gentle nudge, though, and Louis couldn't be more grateful for it.
It's not so bad, being back on stage, but she's relieved when it's over. Harry pulls her into her arms right when they get off stage, pressing a kiss to her temple and murmuring a "you okay? You did great."
"I'm okay," Louis assures her. "Tired."
"You can sleep on the bus," Harry assures her. It's not the same as a hotel bed, and definitely not their bed back home, but it's still a place to rest.
"Mm," Louis agrees.
"Put your comfy pajamas on, curl into bed. I'll give you a nice cuddle."
"That sounds nice," Louis smiles. "Thank you."
"Anything to make my girl happy," Harry says, brushing some hair out of her face and giving her a chaste kiss. "I love you."
"I love you."
"C'mon, love birds. We've got a long drive to Canada!" Niall's voices calls. Louis sighs and presses her head into Harry's shoulder.
"We should go."
"Long drive means more sleep," Harry promises, squeezing her shoulder and leading them out to the bus.
Louis yawns and steps onto the bus, going straight for her suitcase to throw on her pajamas.
"You feeling okay?" Zayn asks. "You were great."
"Thanks, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired," Louis shrugs, putting on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
"Yeah, I can imagine," Zayn hums sympathetically. "Well, sleep well, okay?"
"You too, Z," Louis gives her a smile, going to the toilet to brush. When she finishes with her nightly routine, she crawls into her bunk and waits for Harry to finish her own routine. She comes back with a messy bun and her own pajamas on, folding herself into bed next to Louis and throwing her arm around Louis' middle, kissing her shoulder.
"Sure you're alright, baby?" Harry asks, rubbing Louis' side.
"Yeah, promise," Louis smiles a little. "You've been amazing through this."
"Nah, you've been so strong."
"I wouldn't have gotten through it without you, though," Louis says.
"I'm here for you, always," Harry murmurs, kissing the back of her neck. Louis falls asleep with a sense of comfort.
~
Three years later is when they make the decision the band needs a break. Zayn left earlier in the year, unable to handle the band anymore, and Louis took it the hardest. Ultimately, though, it made the four of them even stronger.
They've been working nonstop for five years, and it's taking a toll on all of them. Even now, Harry and Louis still aren't allowed to be mated, and Louis is absolutely sick of it, but they've been making it work. It's difficult, because so many times, alphas will try and get close to Louis because she's unmated, especially when she's close to her heat. They've got extra security for it, and Harry always gives Louis her clothes to wear so she can have the scent of an alpha on her. It doesn't work as well as a mating mark does, but it's something.
Louis has recovered well from the miscarriage. She'll still think about it sometimes, especially when she sees someone pregnant or with a baby, but she's handled it well. Harry has helped her through it, and they've done their mourning together. The moment the four of them discussed having a break, the idea of having a baby wouldn't leave her mind. It would be a good time, realistically, because they put no time limit on the break. They were going to play it by ear, and when everyone felt well rested, they'd come back. It wasn't a break up, just a hiatus, and it would be a perfect time to settle down and have a baby.
Because Louis knows exactly what management will say (absolutely not, because no matter what, they're two females, and that apparently wouldn't bode well for their image. What utter shit), she plans to not tell them. She hopes to get pregnant and then tell them it happened. There isn't anything they can do to change the fact, so they'd have to let it happen. Right?
It's July when Louis brings it up to Harry. Their album will be out in November, and their break will come shortly after that, so Louis thinks planning ahead would be best.
They're on tour, somewhere in California, and they're all trying to soak it in before it ends. They've got until October to finish off the tour, but it'll be their last tour for a while. It's going to be so odd to not perform for that long, but Louis thinks it'll be nice to have that kind of peace. They'll be home instead, relaxed and sated with their lives, and, hopefully, with a little baby.
They're in a hotel one morning. Niall and Liam are out shopping, but Louis and Harry opted to stay in and have a lazy day before their show that night. Louis planned to use that time to bring up the idea of trying for a baby. It's been long enough since the miscarriage to bring up the idea again, Louis thinks, and this open opportunity probably won't come around again for a long time. They're young, Louis knows, but with the pace of their life, Louis knows it's now or possibly wait another five years. Plus, it feels like they've been together for a lifetime. They're completely ready to have a baby.
Louis knows they'll have to have this planned out properly so that they have enough time to try, get pregnant, and allow their baby to grow old enough to take it on tour or make arrangements. If they wait too far into the break, it'll mess everything up.
"Do you have any Jacks?" Harry asks, holding a fan of cards in his hands. Louis shakes her head.
"Go fish," she says. She's about to ask if Harry has any twos, but she doesn't get to that. Instead, she spits out, "Can we talk about something?"
"Sure," Harry says slowly, putting her cards down. "What is it? Is everything alright?"
Louis puts her own cards down and pulls her legs up to her chest. They're sitting on the bed across from each other and Louis reaches her hand out for Harry's. Harry smiles and ties their hands together.
"What do you think about...us having a baby over break?" Louis asks with a small smile.
"Are you pregnant?" Harry asks excitedly. Louis smiles because Harry will definitely be on board. She basically already is.
"Not yet, but I was thinking we could try? It's a perfect time for us. Plus, I thought management wouldn't be able to say anything if I went to them and said I'm pregnant and it's Harry's. They wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Plus we'd have plenty of time to really be involved and take care of the baby properly for a while. A chance like this won't happen again for a long time. I mean, only if you want to do it, but...I think we're ready for this."
"I would love that," Harry grins. "This is a perfect time for us."
"We're going to try, then?" Louis smiles, and Harry smiles back brightly.
"As soon as you want to," Harry promises. "This will be so good for us. When do you think we should start?"
"The sooner the better, I think," Louis says, excitement filling her belly. "Like, if I'm pregnant before the end of the year that would be good, because it leaves us more time to take care of the baby over break. We won't have to waste our time trying to get pregnant on break that way."
"If you're comfortable with that. Are you sure you want everyone to know about it?"
"I'm sure I want everyone to know I'm having your baby," Louis murmurs softly. "This is just one step closer to everyone knowing about us and then we can mate."
"It'll be nice, yeah?" Harry smiles fondly.
"Been waiting five years," Louis smiles.
"If we start to try during your next heat, and it works, you'll be...what, like five months pregnant by the end of the year? So we'll have at least a solid four months to set up at home and get ready. How does that sound?" Harry reasons.
"Perfect. We'll tell management once I'm pregnant and figure out how they want us to tell people because I'll definitely be showing before the break," Louis says, trying not to smile at the thought of it.
"You will," Harry grins, pulling out her phone. "Alright, so, your next heat is set for August 15th. We don't have a show but we might have to use the bus if we're gonna be at it all day so no one gets suspicious. We'll have the other girls leave."
"Yeah," Louis nods. "Or maybe we can fly to our place in LA the day before so we're comfortable?"
"We can have that arranged," Harry says. "That's probably better for us."
"We're really going to do this?" Louis grins.
"We're really going to do this," Harry squeezes her hand and leans over to kiss her. "Do it proper, with all those birthing classes and books and everything. We'll be home near our families and we can have our mums around to help with anything. It's going to be so perfect."
"I hate to say it, but it's definitely better timing than Hayden would have been," Louis says quietly. Hayden is the name they gave their unborn child, since it was gender neutral, and it was something they read online to help their mourning process. Instead of ignoring it and pretending it didn't happen, they acknowledge it.
"Yeah, this will be really great," Harry says softly, kissing her again.
~
They can only get a night in their LA house, but they make good use of it. They tell the girls about the plan, and they're so supportive and sweet about the whole thing. Liam is especially kind about it, because Louis and Liam have become so close over the years.
Louis is optimistic that they did it, because Harry knotted her a million and one times, it felt like. She spent almost every second of 24 hours with Harry inside of her. She was almost completely incoherent, but her heat was thankfully over by the time she woke up. Harry had to force feed her and get her to drink because she couldn't do any of it on her own. Louis would jump on Harry's cock every second she could, even if Harry was soft from coming. She'd manage it, though. Harry would have to walk her to the kitchen with Louis around her waist, bouncing up and down on Harry's cock as Harry would find something for her to eat. She'd feed her something simple, like a protein bar, just so she could get her nutrients. Harry also didn't need her getting dehydrated, so she'd feed her a water bottle to suck from every so often. It was exhausting for them both, but after so many years together, Harry had Louis' heats down to a science.
Louis finds out she's pregnant in October. She gets the call on their last day of tour, and she cries for a long time about it. Harry spins her around and kisses her like crazy. Louis and Harry perform better than ever that night, their excitement bouncing off of everyone in the stadium. At the end of the show, Louis and Harry embrace in a tight hug, in front of everyone, for the first time in forever. The cheers that night are just a little bit louder.
When they tell their management about Louis being pregnant, it doesn't go the way they hope. There's a lot of anger and a little bit of crying from Louis. Harry squeezes her hand the whole time and sits closer to her as she tries to deal with it.
The plan is that Louis will make an announcement and not make any comments about the who the alpha is. They'll allow rumors to fly, and there will be a random source that says it was a random one-night stand who won't be in the picture. Louis hates it because it makes Louis sound bad, and it's unfair, but it has to be done. Thankfully, their goal is to have Louis and Harry "get closer", so by the end of it, it'll look like Harry is stepping up to the plate. They'll be papped going baby shopping together and leaving the doctor's together. They say that they'll figure out a way to tell the truth after the birth, and they both hate the idea of lying to their fans, but as long as the truth eventually comes out, they can make an exception.
The whole thing frustrates Louis to no end, but she's too excited about their baby to care too much. She puts out an announcement on social media in hopes that fans will be more careful with her, and she nearly breaks the internet with her short video and tweets about it, saying she's very excited and she would appreciate a bit of privacy during this time.
They still have another two months of events planned out, so Harry is constantly making sure Louis isn't pushing herself too hard. Neither of them can wait to get home and relax. They just want to have time to themselves and doing so many events if getting exhausting, especially for Louis.
She often fell asleep at random points of the day and Harry had to gently wake her up with a cup of hot tea.
"You're looking wonderful, Louis," and interviewer smiles at her and gestures to the tiny bump. She's four months along so it's small, but the shirt she's wearing shows it off. Louis smiles and puts her hand over it. She's starting to feel the baby move. There's no kicks yet, but there's little flutters the books say are the baby trying to get comfortable.
"Thank you," she says. "I feel good."
"When are you due?"
"Harry?" Louis asks. She's constantly trying to make it known that they're close, despite what's been shown the past years. Louis knows her due date like her name, but she wants Harry to talk and show she's involved.
"May 2nd," Harry smiles proudly.
"You and Louis have gotten close again, we see," the interviewer says.
"Louis is my best friend and I want to help her through this," Harry says. "It's simple."
"That's very big of you. Is the father in the picture at all?"
Louis feels a flare of anger, because that's supposed to be a blacklisted question. She decides to fire back. "No, I have Harry, and that's enough."
She knows that'll cause a lot of buzz, and probably get her in trouble with management, but she really, really doesn't care. Harry is her mate, and there is no other person in her life.
"Oh," the interviewer says, looking off camera at someone. Louis smirks a little at Harry and rubs circles over her stomach. "So, um, tell us about the album."
Louis is victorious afterwards, knowing that stopped them from questioning any further. Louis could talk about her pregnancy and her baby all day, but not the way they want her to. Harry smiles at her and gives her a wink.
~
It goes on much the same for a while. Louis counts down the days until their break because she just wants to sleep in her own bed and not have to wake up early for anything.
She grows a little every day, belly expanding just a tad. Her and Harry have been attending prenatal yoga classes together and it's been helping Louis feel comfortable with her changing body. They've got their birthing plan set up and Louis plans to deliver naturally back at home in London. Their mums are going to stay with them for a couple of days just to help them out where they can. Louis is going through some serious exhaustion from all the work, and having a baby won't help that at all, so they just want to ensure an easy transition home with a newborn, especially with Louis' mum as a midwife.
They're finally home, and Christmas is just around the corner, along with Louis' birthday. Louis doesn't think she's ever been more excited for the holidays, knowing they'll both be home for them. They're doing it big for Christmas, inviting both of their families, and Louis' birthday is reserved for a small get together with friends that Harry planned early enough that they'll have time to themselves for later at night. Louis has been going to sleep earlier and earlier now that she's pregnant and there's a little baby taking up her energy, so Harry was going to absolutely make sure she stayed awake for some quality time with each other. Harry already bought plenty of gifts to put to good use that night.
Louis has gone back and forth whether she wants to know the sex of the baby or not, but she's decided it'll be easier to know. However, she wants to find out in a special way. She's seen a ton of cakes on pinterest that reveal it, and she thinks that would be a perfect gift for their families on Christmas. Harry is going to bake a cake with her very special baking skills and tools she's acquired over the years to make a gender reveal cake to cut open on Christmas night. That means Harry already knows the gender, but she's been silent about it and absolutely won't let it slip. Christmas is soon, though, and Louis knows she can wait to find out. The surprise will definitely be worth it.
"It's so nice to be home," Louis hums, gratefully taking the cup of hot chocolate from Harry. She's had a major craving for sweets the past few weeks.
Harry sits besides her with her own cup and throws a fleece blanket over the both of them. Louis curls into Harry's side with a hand on her belly, and Harry's arm folds over her shoulder to play with her hair.
"Especially for Christmas," Harry agrees. "So nice and cozy with our tree and everything."
"We'll have to get another stocking next year," Louis grins, nodding at their fireplace mantel. "We're going to have three, Haz."
"I know," Harry grins. "Next year we're gonna have a little baby joining us for the holiday. That's so exciting."
"It's going to be the best. We're going to get to start so many family traditions with our kids. And we're going to be mated, soon, Haz. Can you believe that?"
"It's hard to believe. It's going to be amazing not having to worry so much when you go out without me because you'll have your mark all the time. Makes me feel so much better."
"I want a big fat one on my neck," Louis grins. "I want everyone to see it."
"They will, trust me," Harry smiles, kissing the top of her head. "Is there anything you want for your birthday or Christmas?"
"No," Louis shakes her head, grinning madly when she feels the baby move around. "Don't go crazy, babe. You're doing plenty for me as it is. Nothing too over the top, okay? Low-key this year. Being home with you and our family is going to be plenty for me."
"Well, I already do have some gifts," Harry smirks. "But I'll try not to go too wild."
"Good," Louis says, leaning her head up to kiss Harry's jaw. "Mm, you're so far away."
"You still cold? Do you need a jumper?" Harry asks but Louis shakes her head.
"No, love. Stay here with me, please. Don't you dare leave this couch."
Harry laughs and kisses her temple. "Okay, sorry I asked. I'll stay right here."
"Good alpha."
They watch The Santa Clause together, sipping their hot chocolates and tangled in each other's limbs. Louis' hand doesn't leave her belly, wanting to feel every soft movement from her baby.
~
Louis' 24th birthday comes around and she wakes up to Harry eating her out. It's not a bad wake up call.
She puts her hand on her belly and moans, fingers moving down until they find Harry's curls. "Oh—Harry!"
Harry sits up on her elbows, poking her head over Louis' bump with a smirk. "Happy birthday, baby girl."
She gets back to licking deep inside of Louis, holding the back of her thighs. One of Louis' favorite things in the world, besides Harry (and Harry's knot), is getting eaten out. She was so nervous their first time around, squirming embarrassedly and covering her face. She didn't really know what to do with her hands or her legs or anything else. Within minutes, though, she was screaming and coming all over Harry's mouth. Now, it's a regular thing, and it's Louis' favorite.
"God, baby," Louis moans, her hands pulling at Harry's hair. "Oh, god, that feels so good."
Her feet lay on Harry's shoulders and she pushes Harry closer to her body. She wishes she could see Harry's face, see how her perfect brows come together in concentration as she licks and sucks at her lips. Right now, she can't see over Harry's oversized black shirt she's wearing. She was definitely at least wearing panties when she went to bed, and she wonders how Harry took them off without waking her up.
"You're so good," Louis moans. "Mm, I'm not gonna last long."
Harry's nose brushes her clit incessantly as she thrusts her tongue inside harshly and Louis sobs, her thighs closing around Harry's head. Harry's fingernails dig into her thighs and she sucks loudly. Louis trembles with her impending orgasm, hands yanking at Harry's hair harshly. She tries to stop herself but Harry moans from it, thrusting her tongue in as far as she can, twirling it slowly. Louis is definitely dripping slick all over Harry's face and she can't wait to see her after she comes.
"Harry, baby, mm, yes!" Louis cries, her lower back pushing off the bed to meet Harry's mouth. "Oh, yeah! Yeah! I'm—fuck, mm, mm, Ha—aaah!"
She screams brokenly as her orgasm washes over her. She shakes through it, her muscles trembling and her cunt contracting intensely from it, trying to expel all of her slick and come. Harry licks her clean first, Louis trying to catch her breath with quick, shallow breaths.
"Okay," she gasps when Harry comes up from between her legs, mouth, cheeks, and nose shiny and wet. "That's how I want to be woken up every day."
Harry giggles and leans over to kiss Louis, their tongues tangling messily. Louis can taste herself on her mouth and hums.
"You taste especially delicious pregnant," Harry murmurs, nipping Louis' bottom lip. "Your slick is so much sweeter."
"It is," Louis giggles, licking her lips to taste again. "Hm. Must be the hormones and everything."
"Must be," Harry agrees. "Happy birthday, baby girl."
"Thank you," Louis smiles, pushing hair behind Harry's ear and kissing her again. "Hell of a birthday gift, I have to say."
"We're just getting started," Harry smirks and winks. "I've got a whole night planned out for us. You might want to take a nap before our dinner tonight because I can promise you, it's going to be a long night."
"Oh, god," Louis smiles. "Let's skip dinner."
Harry laughs. "That's why I made it an early dinner. I want them all out so I can have you to myself."
"I can't wait for it. If I wasn't already pregnant I'm sure you'd get me pregnant tonight."
"Oh, definitely," Harry grins. "Wait until you see what I have planned for us."
"Well, this was certainly a nice preview."
"C'mon," Harry smirks. "Let's get showered so we can prepare for the day."
"I'd much rather stay in bed with you all day," Louis pouts. "But I guess I can do that for you."
Harry helps Louis out of bed and gets her into the shower. As Harry washes Louis' hair, she remembers.
"Hey, Haz?"
"Hmm?"
"Is getting your hair pulled a...thing for you? I was afraid I was hurting you but then you moaned..." Louis trails off.
"Yeah," Harry says softly. "It was really good for me."
"Hmm," Louis smiles, trailing her fingers down the middle of her belly. "I'll have to remember that. Something we can play with."
"Yeah?"
"Definitely," Louis says, turning around, her belly pressing to Harry's. "Want to make my girl happy."
"Well," Harry murmurs, putting her hands on Louis' curvy hips. "We have some time to...experiment properly."
"Oh, you're right," Louis smiles. "We never really got that chance."
Since they were always on the road, they didn't really have time to sit down and discuss things they might want to try, and definitely didn't have the time to actually do those things. They were either on the bus with the other girls where it wouldn't be comfortable or considerate. They just stuck to whatever they could get done and stick with the basics. Now, they had time to explore a kinkier side of each other. They're home with nothing but each other for the next few months.
"We can talk tonight," Harry says. "I bought us some...stuff, for tonight. We'll have a chat about what we want to do, yeah?"
"I like the sound of that," Louis agrees. "Plus I've been so much hornier since getting pregnant, which, you already know. I'd definitely like to consider some nontraditional stuff with you. I trust you so completely."
"I feel the same," Harry says. "Tonight, okay?"
"Okay," Louis smiles. "I love you."
"I love you. Happy birthday, beautiful."
Louis grins and they kiss again.
~
The night with their friends is nice, but Louis can't help but squirm with anticipation at the thought of later on. They've been together for so long and Louis has come so far. She's not embarrassed at all anymore, and certainly not shy about sex any longer. She thinks of all the possible things they might do together. She doesn't know what Harry's bought yet and her mind races with what she might open up.
Niall and Liam stay later than the rest, and Louis wants to shove them out the door, but tries to stay calm. They won't be seeing each other every day anymore and it's going to be so odd, so she gets it. Louis has already told Harry she wants Liam as the godmother. She's responsible and Louis' best friend (besides Harry, of course).
"I can't believe you guys are going to have a baby soon," Niall says in awe. "Like, a real baby. Are you scared?"
"I'm not," Harry says easily. She's got Louis in her lap and her hand rubbing over her belly. Louis' wearing a pretty red dress that fits over her belly nicely, and she looks absolutely stunning, really. She straightened her hair and wore silver heels, even though they made her feet hurt. But, she looked hot for her birthday, and that's all she wanted.
Harry, though, was breathtaking. Louis doesn't know how she hasn't attacked her yet. She's got a flowy black dress on, accentuating her cleavage and her hair especially curly. Her lips were a dark red with lipstick and Louis wanted them all over her body. Her red heels make her even taller, and her legs look even longer. Louis has been restraining herself all night not to lift up her dress and suck on her cock.
"I'm not either," Louis shrugs, tangling their hands over her stomach. "We've been preparing for this for a long time, I think. This was just perfect timing for us. We're so excited about it."
"Do you know the sex?" Liam asks.
"Harry does," Louis laughs. "And she hasn't let it slip. I'm actually very proud of her. She made a cake with either pink or blue inside so we're going to cut it tomorrow night with our families and I'll find out. Harry was adamant on making it herself so she had to know first. I wanted to be surprised in a special way, y'know? These cake things are really popular now, and we'll get to tell our families all at once. I'm sure Harry will tell you guys before you leave."
"I need to know so I know what to buy for the baby shower," Liam says.
"I'll tell you," Harry laughs. "Just don't tell Lou. I've wanted to tell her so badly every time I see something for the baby but keep my mouth shut."
Louis smiles and kisses her. She just wants the girls to leave now so she can open up her gifts. (She's got the ring on her finger, and a ruby and diamond tennis bracelet on her wrist, but right now, she wants the dirty stuff.
She fakes a loud yawn. "Sorry, girls, I'm getting sleepy. This kid takes a lot of energy out of me."
"Oh, of course," Niall says. "It's getting pretty late, anyway. Get your rest."
"Thanks," Louis smiles. She stands up with some assistance from Harry and gives a hug to both girls. "And thank you for coming and for your gifts. It means a lot to me."
"Of course, Lou," Liam says, squeezing her and giving a quick rub of her belly. Niall does the same and her and Harry walk them out, waving them goodbye. Louis closes the door and looks up at Harry.
"Okay. We're late. We need to get to our room and fuck until I literally, physically can no longer walk. Are you up to the task?"
"Wow, I don't think you've had this much energy since you got pregnant," Harry laughs. Louis glares. "Sorry, yes. Okay, c'mon, your gift is in the bedroom and we can have our talk."
Louis clasps Harry's hand and they walk to their bedroom, Louis heart pounding in her ears. It's definitely not fear, though, not anymore. It's pure excitement.
Louis crawls into bed, sitting with her legs crossed and rubbing her belly with both hands. The baby gets more active every day and Louis loves to feel it. Harry pulls out a gift bag with tissue paper and sits it in front of Louis. She sits next to her and kisses her softly.
"Alright. Be honest. You can tell me what you do and don't want. I won't be offended or anything," Harry says.
"Okay. Actually, before I open it, there is...one thing, I've been thinking about," Louis bites her cheek. She doesn't really know how she thought of it, and she didn't even know if she would like it, but she would try anything once.
"What is it, babe?" Harry asks, brushing a strand of hair behind Louis' ear.
"I don't even know if it'll be good, and you can say no, obviously, but, like...anal? Just to see if it's...good, y'know?"
Harry laughs lightly. "I...actually bought some stuff for that. I was going to ask if you wanted to try it."
"This is why we're soulmates," Louis giggles. "Okay, so, that's a go. Now, let's see what you bought me."
She dips her hand into the bag and starts to feel around the array toys. She first pulls out a string of anal beads, and a spike shoots up her spine. They start off very small, and they work up to very, very big. She can feel the slick slowly dripping onto her panties.
"I want to start with these," Louis murmurs. "This is how I want to be prepped."
"Oh," Harry smiles. "That's a good idea. You don't have to take them all, you know. Whatever is comfortable. And I don't...have to fuck you, if it hurts or you don't like it."
"You'll probably be fucking me," Louis smiles. She reaches back into the bag to find a small buttplug with a pump at the end. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion.
"It's an inflatable plug," Harry says, her cheeks pink from the alcohol and embarrassment. "It can grow up to the size of my knot, if you ever want that."
Now that Louis is pregnant, Harry can no longer knot inside of her. She still can outside, but it's messy. Louis misses getting knotted, though, so she'll definitely try this for both holes.
"Mm, this will come in handy."
Next is a light blue sparkly dildo, and Louis didn't think sex toys could be so pretty. It was almost the color of her birthstone. It was incredibly long and thick and heavy in her hands. Omegas are meant to take a lot, and the more Louis is filled, the better. Fingers are never enough to satisfy her, and she always needs Harry's cock for a good, proper orgasm. Now, she's got toys to help her out.
"This is nice," Louis smiles.
Next is a glass buttplug that could almost be considered adorable. It's just big enough to add some pressure to the mix. The last things she finds are a carton of strawberries with the stems cut off and a can of whipped cream.
"Just put those in there," Harry smirks.
"I could think of a few very good ways to put these to use," Louis grins wickedly.
"Is there anything you don't like?"
"Absolutely not," Louis shakes her head. "I love all of this."
"Is there anything else you'd want?"
"Maybe just some stuff in the future I'd want to try, but this is going to keep us busy for tonight, I think."
"I'd think so," Harry grins. "Ready?"
"Been waiting all bloody day," Louis murmurs, pulling Harry in by the neck and kissing her roughly. "Fuck me."
Harry bites her bottom lip and helps Louis out of her dress. Louis kicks off her heels while Harry unhooks her bra. Louis can feel her hands starting to shake as she unzips Harry's dress.
"This bra is so perfect on you," Louis whispers, unhooking the lace black bra with a red bow in the middle. "Fuck, you're so hot."
"Not as hot as you," Harry murmurs, kissing down Louis' neck and pulling her panties down. Louis lifts her legs for Harry to take them off of her. "Fuck, you're even hotter pregnant. How did you manage that?"
"Yeah?" Louis breathes, her eyes already glassy.
"Fuck yes," Harry whispers. "And, god, look how big your tits are getting with all that milk."
Her hands squeeze at Louis' breast, thumbs brushing her nipples. Louis shivers with it and her nipples instantly harden up. They've been so sensitive since she got pregnant, and they've definitely grown.
"You're gonna start leaking soon," Harry murmurs, kissing between her breasts and flicking each nipple with her tongue. "Oh, god."
"Oh," Louis whispers. She suddenly imagines Harry sucking on her nipples, drinking her milk, and she can't wait to start lactating to let Harry do it.
"And look at this gorgeous round belly," Harry praises, rubbing her hand over the soft skin, kissing down it. Louis' breathing starts to speed up, and she can see the way her belly rises with each breath. Harry's mouth moves further down her belly, under the curve of it, and her hot breath ghosting over her cunt. "Mm, and my favorite. You taste so much sweeter now, and you get so nice and hot for me with so much slick. So fucking sexy."
Her tongue licks over her dripping slit and Louis gasps quietly. "Mm, yeah?"
"Yeah," Harry responds. "Think you want to put these beads to use now?"
"Yes," Louis chants. "Please."
Harry kisses the underside of Louis' belly and dips a finger into her cunt. Harry uses it to circle Louis' puckered, untouched hole. Louis sucks in a breath when the tip of her finger prods at it. She bites her lip as it sink in slow, slow, slowly. It's so tight, but in the best way. Her body craves being full, and she can't wait to be stuffed.
Harry only pushes in her index finger, carefully slicking up Louis' insides. "You want it?"
"Please," Louis begs. "I want it."
Harry smirks and grabs the anal beads and gently presses the smallest one to Louis' shiny hole. "Want to see if you can get these in yourself with only using this little tight, perfect ass."
Louis moans and clenches. The bead pops inside easily, and Harry gives a gentle push at the next one. Louis does the same, swallowing up the second one. It continues like that for a while, Louis becoming more and more full. She struggles with the next one, too big to get in herself.
"Harry," she whines desperately. "Need help."
"You did so well," Harry praises and pushes the next bead in. Louis yelps. "Only two more. Can you handle it, baby? Can you put these last two inside that pretty little ass? Probably so tight."
"Yeah, yeah, gimme," Louis begs. She's so tight, and she can feel it with each passing bead, but it makes it even hotter. She loves that burst of pain that comes with it. Louis feels resistance on the next one and sucks in a large breath as she gets it in.
"Last one, baby, you've got it," Harry murmurs, pushing the last, large one in. Louis holds her breath as it opens her up and blows it out loudly when it settles inside. She gasps a few times, feeling so oddly full. It's a lot different than getting fucked, and it's definitely different than her cunt, but it's good. It's really, really good.
"So proud of my girl," Harry says, kissing front of her groin. "How is it?"
"Love it," Louis mumbles. "Want you to eat me out. Can you?"
"I'll never say no to that offer," Harry grins, grabbing the strawberries and whipped cream. "Gonna make myself a nice little sundae."
Louis giggles and puts her hands over her breasts, pinching her nipples between her fingertips and biting her lip. "Go right ahead."
Harry gives a gentle tug at the string peeking from Louis' hole and Louis moans at the movement and the small pull of the muscle. Louis closes her eyes and relaxes her body, and there's suddenly a cool strawberry being placed between her lips. Cold whipped cream is sprayed over her, and Harry's hot mouth kisses over her with open lips. Louis hums as Harry sucks the strawberry out and licks the remaining whipped cream. There's another strawberry that dips into her and Harry drags it up and pulls it out. She reaches her arm up.
"Here, baby," Harry murmurs. "Go ahead and taste how sweet you make these. It's like sugar."
Louis lifts her head and eats the strawberry from her fingers, sucking off any juice remaining. She hums in appreciation. The strawberries are perfectly ripe and Harry is actually right about her slick. It's sugary sweet.
"Good, yeah?"
"Sweet," Louis agrees. Harry grins and dips a few more strawberries inside of her, feeding them to Louis one by one, and eating a few more out of her with the addition of some whipped cream. Every time Harry goes in to eat another one, she makes sure to suck or lick her clit, or thrust her tongue between her lips roughly.
"Fuck, Haz, you're being a tease," Louis whines. "You gotta fuck me or summat."
"I will," Harry promises, licking Louis clean. "How do you want me?"
"Fuck my ass," Louis begs. "I want it so bad."
"Okay, okay, I'll prep you a little, yeah?"
"No," Louis shakes her head. "I want to be tight. I like it."
"It'll hurt, babe," Harry says softly.
"Good," Louis replies. "C'mon, please, baby."
"Alright, okay. Gotta push these beads out for me first. Can you do that?"
"Yes," Louis nods. Harry gives a tug at the string and Louis pushes. She feels her hole open up and clench closed as she pushes one out. "Thatta girl," Harry praises, her hand rubbing over her stomach in soothing circles. Louis does it again, and again, and Harry continues to coo at her, kissing her belly every so often and watching the plastic beads pop out.
"So sexy," Harry murmurs. "Looks so hot."
Louis finally pushes the last one out and Harry picks up the string, sucking one of the beads into her mouth. Louis moans at the sight of it. "Holy fuck, Harry. Fuck me, please. God, I need you so bad."
"I need you, too," Harry says, putting the beads on the bed and leaning down to kiss her. "I've got you. You ready for this?"
"Yes," Louis whispers. "So ready."
Harry grabs the lube out of their nightstand. It's rare it's ever used, and it's more for Harry when she's alone, because Louis gets so wet she doesn't need it, but she doesn't produce slick in her ass so she'll definitely need it. Harry pulls off her own panties and before she can toss them aside, Louis grabs them and smirks.
"I want to hold on to these."
"You're so filthy," Harry smiles. She slicks up her cock and her breasts jiggling with the quick movement. Louis bites her lip as she watches Harry, wishing she could see her gorgeous cock between her legs, but her belly is in the way. Harry is so breathtakingly gorgeous, and she gets so caught up in it. Sometimes, she feels such a deep set pain inside of her when she thinks about how against being with Harry she was. She didn't want Harry for so long just because she was a female alpha, and it disgusts Louis to her core. Harry is the best thing that's ever happened to her, and she can't imagine anyone else in her place. When she thinks about it, she's glad she got matched with a female, because she's so incredibly gentle with her. No male alpha is so caring and careful with their omegas, and Louis loves the soft touches and feminine voice and smooth body. Louis is so in love with every part of her, and she wishes she saw that from the beginning.
Her thoughts diminish when she feels Harry's cock pushing against her puckered hole. Louis sucks in a breath as Harry's cock fills her. Louis wonders if all female alphas are this gigantic. She knows they're usually smaller than male alphas, but Louis doesn't really have any other experience besides Harry, and she's pretty certain this is as big as they come.
"Mm," Louis moans, Harry slowly bottoming out inside of her. It's so different than her cunt, and it's so much tighter, but she likes it. She likes that little bit of pain, that feeling of being ripped open.
"Is that okay?" Harry asks softly, one of her hands sitting on Louis' belly. Louis nods at her and smiles.
"'s good, baby," she tells her. "Am I tight?"
"You have no idea," Harry laughs brokenly. "I could come right now if I wasn't trying not to."
"Not yet," Louis shakes her head. "I don't want you to come in there."
"What do you mean?" Harry asks, confusion evident on her face.
Louis grins and touches her lips with her fingers. "Here."
"Fuck, Lou. Knot?"
"Yeah," Louis says, her hand over Harry's. "Want to eat all of that come."
"Oh my god," Harry moans. "Okay, fuck, yeah."
Louis smirks because she definitely has some power over Harry right now. She's making Harry weak, and they both know it. She knows exactly how to make Harry even weaker.
She hates admitting it, but this pregnancy has made her so powerfully horny almost all the time. When Harry isn't around, whether it be for something work related that Louis isn't needed for, or just her going to the gym or out to the store, she sometimes just needs to get off. She'll sometimes finger herself just for a little bit of relief, but it doesn't usually help much. Lately, she's been watching porn. Harry doesn't even know about it, but she likes to see what kind of stuff they do so she can get ideas. That's how she first thought about the idea of doing anal, and all the people seemed to really enjoy it, so she figured she might as well try it, too. She's actually glad Harry thought to buy them this stuff because Louis has been thinking a lot about trying things during their break.
She got this particular idea from a video. She takes Harry's panties and drags the lace down her belly and rubs it over her wet cunt. Harry's eyes are glassy and shiny and watching Harry's fingers. Louis grins and slowly presses the panties inside of her. Harry chokes on a groan as he watches. Louis pushes in more, her fingers reaching deep inside of her with every thrust of her fingers. She forces more of the lace inside of her, wanting to get all of it inside of her. Harry's hips stutter, balls slapping against her skin erratically.
"It feels so good," Louis moans, stuffing more inside. "So full like this, and the lace feels so nice inside of me."
"God, Louis, fuck," Harry whimpers, fucking into Louis roughly.
"Make sure you don't come in me, babe," Louis reminds her, moaning as she gets more of the panties inside. "Want all of that come in my mouth. Want to swallow all of it in my big belly."
"Louis," Harry whines. "I'm so close."
Louis takes the rest of the panties between her fingers and forces them deep inside of her, moaning with it. "Can you get me that pretty vibrator, please?"
"Oh, god," Harry mumbles, getting the vibrator and flicking it on. She doesn't hand it over to Louis like she expects, but puts it against Louis' clit. Louis screams a little, not expecting the forceful vibrations against such a sensitive part of her, especially with all the other stimulation she's experiencing.
"Can you take it in you?" Harry asks softly, and Louis nods brokenly. In that short moment, she lost all the power she gained. Harry pushes the vibrator inside of her, forcing the panties deeper inside. The vibrations make her legs tremble harshly, and she knows she's going to come soon. Harry's thrust are shallow and forceful, the vibrator moving in and out of her quickly. She sobs from everything happening, her belly burning with the need to orgasm.
"Harry, Harry, Harry," she chants, her back arching. "I'm gonna, oh my god, I'm gonna—ah, ah!"
She throws back her head and let's a scream rip through her, every part of her body shaking, and she feels a harsh gush flood out of her. Harry stills her motions to watch and Louis squirts over Harry's flat belly. Louis takes a few moments to breathe, grateful that Harry has removed the vibrator so the incessant buzzing wouldn't make her oversensitive.
"Did I," Louis pants harshly. "Just squirt?"
"You did," Harry says in awe, rubbing her belly tenderly. "Fuck, you've never done that."
"I haven't," Louis agrees. "Oh my god. That was so good."
"It was so fucking sexy, Lou. Holy shit. How did that happen?"
"I think the vibrator was a lot. That was...fuck, Harry. Fuck."
"I know," Harry says. "Well, that is definitely a keeper, then."
"Yes," Louis nods. She's suddenly hyperaware of the cock still in her ass and the panties still in her pussy. "I gotta, shit, are you close? Gotta...fuck, too full."
She's hornier pregnant, yes, but she also gets oversensitive quickly.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry, love," Harry says, carefully pulling out. She smirks at how opened up she looks now, how ruined.
"Your panties are gonna be ruined," Louis laughs brokenly. She pushes her fingers inside of her, whimpering at how tender she is. She carefully starts to pull out the panties that are absolutely drenched with come and slick. She sighs with relief when she finally gets them out. "They're soaked."
"That is so hot," Harry groans. "I'm so close, Lou. You've got me so on edge."
"Sorry, babe," Louis giggles. "Alright, c'mere. Gimme that fat cock of yours."
Louis motions her over, so Harry is sitting up on her knees with Louis below her. Louis holds her sharp hips and Harry grabs her cock, feeding it between Louis' lips. Louis sucks her into her mouth, moaning around it and slowly taking her down. She'd never be able to get it all, and she usually only manages about half of it, but she makes the most of it. Harry has a monster cock, and Louis wants to make her feel as good as she makes her feel.
"Fuck, yeah," Harry moans. "Not gonna take me long, baby. You drive me crazy. You're so good for me. God, how did I get so lucky?"
Louis puts her hands on her belly as she tries to gain some leverage. She bobs her head back and forth and pops off with a loud, wet noise.
"Fuck my mouth, Haz. I want it."
Harry groans loudly and holds Louis' head, her fingers curling into her hair. Louis opens her mouth and blinks up at Harry, signaling that she's ready. Harry pushes the head of her cock past her lips. Louis swallows around it and Harry begins to thrust her hips. She's careful not to go too deep, and it's amazing to them both that she has this much self-control.
"Oh, god, yes," Harry murmurs. "Oh, fuck, yes."
Louis looks up at Harry with teary eyes and moans around her cock, sending vibrations through it. Harry lets out a wail, throwing her head back and thrusting into Louis' mouth, her knot popping. Louis grabs her hips and starts to swallow Harry's come quickly, throat bobbing obscenely. Harry gasps through it, forgetting how good it felt to be able to knot. It's not as good as knotting inside of Louis, but it's better than not being able to knot at all.
Louis doesn't pull up for air at all. She sucks it all down with her eyes closed and fingers gripping at Harry's slim, toned waist. Louis has always envied Harry's willpower when it comes to diet and exercise. Louis is active, sure, but nothing when it comes to Louis. Now, she does yoga and goes for walks, but that's more for the baby's benefit. Louis used to play footie back in school, but that was as far as she would go. But Harry puts so much effort into staying healthy and fit, and it definitely shows. Her body is so toned and she's so strong and gorgeous and Louis drools over her all the time.
She wants to tell her, but her mouth is currently preoccupied with other things. It's weird, because Louis is pretty sure Harry's come is sweeter, too. Louis vaguely wonders if the pregnancy hormones and pheromones are changing their bodies alike. Louis certainly doesn't mind the sweet taste.
Harry's breathing finally starts to even out as her knot begins to go down. She cards her fingers through Louis' soft hair, her flat stomach ballooning with each heavy breath. "Fuck, Lou. I can't believe you. Look at you, love. Jaw is gonna ache like crazy."
Her hand sits on Louis' neck and her thumb brushes her jaw. She runs it down her throat to feel each swallow and Harry's cock gives a weak twitch. Harry begins to feel boneless as the swelling goes down. Popping a knot always leaves her so pleasantly exhausted. Louis finally takes her last gulp and pulls off of Harry's soft cock. Louis watches it hang between her toned thighs and admires how large she is even without being hard. "Was that good?" Louis asks, licking her lips.
"God, you're amazing," Harry praises, holding her face and leaning down to kiss her. "That was so hot. You must feel so full."
"I do," Louis laughs, putting her hand on her belly. "I think I'm more swollen, if that's possible. Fifteen minutes worth of come is a lot."
"Can't believe you took it all," Harry says in awe, straddling Louis lap and kissing her again, rubbing her stuffed belly. "All of it is sitting in your belly."
"That was definitely one of our best," Louis grins, playing with Harry's curls. "Thank you for such an amazing birthday. Everything you did...everything was amazing, Harry. I love you so, so much. I can't believe you're even handling tomorrow. You're just...you're too good for me, baby. Sometimes I just...I can't figure out why I was put with you. Like, how did I get put with the most incredible person ever? And I can't believe I didn't even see what was in front of me for so long. How stupid was I, honestly? You are so fucking incredible and I didn't want to be with you. I don't know how that was ever possible, and I'm so angry at myself for ever thinking we couldn't be good together, because we are the best together. You're so kind, and gentle, and caring, and so, so loving. You love me through it all, you're always my rock when I need you, and I would have never made it through these past five years without you by my side. You do so much for me, and you're going to be such an incredible mother. I can't even remember a time where I didn't love you. It feels like life only first started when I met you, you know? Like, life didn't even matter before you come into it. You've made me so happy, and I don't want to know a life without you. I can't believe you've done all of this for me just for my birthday. You're so good, Harry, and god, I'm so sorry for not noticing right away. You were willing to take a chance for me right from the start, and I have no idea why, but I'm so grateful you did."
"Oh, Louis," Harry smiles, stroking Louis' cheek and kissing her lips softly. "You don't need to apologize for anything. You weren't comfortable and that's okay, baby. I wasn't going to force you to do something you weren't okay with. You eventually came to the conclusion on your own, and you fell in love with me on your own terms. That's so amazing, that even through all that stuff you went through, you were still able to fall in love with me. You overcame all of that, and now we're...we're having a baby, Louis. You're having my baby, and that's...I know you love me, baby, there's no doubt about it. I know you'd never do this for anyone else, and it shows me just how much you love me. Just because it took you some time to love me doesn't mean you don't, and I know that. I'm just glad you're happy, because that's all I ever want to do is make you happy. And I know you think I'm too good for you, but god, baby, you're too good for me. You're carrying my baby, Louis. I can make the biggest gestures for you, but nothing as big as this."
Harry's hands fall onto Louis' belly and kiss the middle of it. "You do so much more than you think you do."
Louis smiles with tears in her eyes. "I'd have quintuplets for you, Harry."
Harry laughs and kisses her again. "I can happily say we are not having quintuplets. Let's start with the one and go from there."
"That sounds like a solid plan," Louis smiles, scratching softly at Harry's scalp and yawns. "I'm so tired. Really wore me out."
"We have a big day tomorrow," Harry says. "You should get some sleep."
"Promise we can experiment more often?" Louis whispers with a grin.
"Oh, I can assure you, we will definitely be experimenting lots before the baby comes," Harry grins. "Lots more to come."
Louis grins and Harry lays next to Louis, pulling her into her chest. Her hand sits on Louis' belly and feels soft kicks. Harry kisses her forehead softly.
"Happy birthday, baby."
~
Christmas is as perfect as Louis' birthday. All their family is happy and loud and fawning over Louis' bump. It leaves Louis feeling warm and loved. She's missed them all so much, and she's so happy to spend the holiday with them.
"Oh, Louis, you look so cute!" Jay coos. "How are you feeling?"
"Good, mum," Louis smiles. "Really good. Harry has been taking care of us and the doctor said everything is going smoothly."
"Wonderful," Jay says. "Taking care of yourself?
"Yes, mum," Louis rolls her eyes. "Harry is here for me and now that we have our break it's been really calm and relaxed around here."
"I'm glad you two waited until your break, because now you have so much time to spend on yourselves and the baby," Jay says, rubbing Louis' belly.
"Yeah, we figured it was a perfect time for us," Louis says.
"Harry's really outdone herself with today. I asked if she wanted help and she was so adamant on doing it all for us," Jay says. "I can't believe how wonderful she is. I'm so glad you decided to take a chance on her."
"Yeah?" Louis asks softly. "You are?"
"Yes, honey. I know you were nervous but there's a reason you were put together. You were always meant to be together, Louis, and that's okay. I'm so happy you're happy."
"I'm really happy," Louis smiles with watery eyes. She'll blame it on the hormones, if anything, but she's really, really happy. They all eat in their large dining room, everyone yelling over one another and making new memories to share over the years. Almost everyone has a drink in their hand, cheeks rosy red, while Louis' sisters enjoy sparkling apple cider in champagne glasses so they don't feel left out. Louis has the same in her own hands, grinning to herself about how wonderful her family has turned out to be. Her family and Harry's family melded together seamless, and it seems like they're one big family, rather than two separate ones.
Before Harry serves the gender reveal cake, she raises her glass of champagne and clings her fork against it to get everyone's attention. Louis looks at her questioning but Harry just smiles and grabs her hand, kissing the back of it.
"I just wanted to make a toast to our wonderful family," Harry says. "Thank you all for coming and sharing this holiday with us and always being so supportive of everything we do. You're all so important to the both of us and we love you all. I also wanted to make a toast to my lovely Louis, for being the best part of my life and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for having our baby, thank you for being mine, thank you for being you. I love you so much."
"You're gonna make me cry," Louis laughs wetly, squeezing Harry's hand. "Thank you, Harry. I love you, too."
They kiss softly and their families coo. Harry lets go of her hand and puts her glass down so she can get up to grab the cake. Louis rubs her belly and silently wonders what they're having. She'll, obviously, be happy with either, but she's been waiting for this since day one.
Harry brings out a large cake and Louis fawns over it. Harry absolutely wouldn't let her look at it, which wasn't easy, but the cake is so gorgeous. One side is piped with pink flowers, while the other half has blue, and the top of the cake say "He or She? Open to See."
"This is gorgeous," Louis says as Harry sits the round cake in front of her. "I can't believe you made this yourself."
Harry hands her a knife and drops a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm glad you like it. Go ahead and cut it open. Everyone is waiting."
Their families cheer and Louis laughs, slowly cutting a piece out. When she pulls the slice out, a rush of blue candies fall from the center. Louis smiles and lets out a quiet sob, looking at Harry.
"It's what we wanted," she whispers.
"I know," Harry whispers back with a wet smile of her own. They kiss briefly and Louis spins the cake around to show the colored candy.
Everyone claps and cheers loudly, and Louis starts to cry. Her and Harry were both sort of hoping they'd have a little boy, and now they were, and Louis couldn't be any happier. Louis already has so many ideas on what they can do for their nursery and the baby shower.
"I'm having a grandson!" Jay says happily. "Five girls of my own, and I finally get a boy!"
"So glad we could make you happy, mum," Louis laughs.
"We're having a little boy," Harry murmurs into her ear. "Can you believe it?"
"No," Louis shakes her head. "It's so much more real now. I've never felt so happy about something. Well, except maybe the realization that I was in love with you."
Harry grins and pushes Louis' hair out of her face, then presses a soft kiss to her lips. "I know. Very nice Christmas gift."
Louis cuts a piece of cake for everyone. Her plan is to not eat her entire piece, because she doesn't want to gain a ton of weight during the pregnancy, but after her first bite, she has to finish.
"Harry," she moans with her mouth full. "This cake is so good. How are you this good at everything? Honestly? Now you can bake on top of everything else."
"You already knew that."
"Yeah, but never cake. You will definitely be making our kids' birthday cakes. It looks incredible and tastes even better. It's so moist, and the frosting, oh my god. You're amazing."
"Thanks, babe," Harry laughs.
"It is delicious, Harry," Jay says.
"She always loved baking," Anne says. "She was so excited when she got the job at the bakery. She's full of talents."
"Mum," Harry sighs. "We get it."
"I'm allowed to be proud of you," Anne shushes her.
"I'm proud of you," Louis whispers in her ear and squeezing her thigh under the table.
~
Their families stay and help clean up, which Louis is grateful for. She's already tired so early in the night and she couldn't handle all the clean up, and she definitely doesn't want Harry to get stuck with all of it.
Once they all exchange gifts, their families leave, wanting to give the girls privacy. They had upstairs and get changed into pajamas, curling into bed together.
"I have another present for you," Harry says, stroking her fingers through Louis' hair as her head sits on Harry's chest.
"How could you?" Louis laughs. "You did so much for me! You're going mad. I won't accept it."
"Well, I was kind of hoping this was the one gift you would say yes to," Harry says slowly.
"What are you talking about?" Louis asks.
Harry gently pushes Louis off of her chest and reaches into her nightstand. She pulls out a small wrapped box and hands it to Louis. "Okay, go ahead and unwrap it, but don't open the box until I finish talking, okay?"
"Okay..." Louis says slowly. She unwraps the box, as told, and looks at Harry. "Go ahead."
"Louis, I love you more than I thought anyone could love anybody. You're the most beautiful, kind, talented...amazing person I've ever met. I can't imagine being mated with anyone else. You're better than anything I could have ever dreamed about. I know you weren't planning to end up with a female but...that was always my hope. I always wanted to find a girl who would love me, even though I'm so different. I don't know any other female alphas, and I just wanted to be looked at as a regular person for once, and you did that. You may have been scared, but you never looked at me as weird. It was about your sexuality, and not my anatomy. When I saw you, and I realized you were my soul mate i thought to myself, how did I end up with the most gorgeous omega ever? Your eyes are so blue that they shine like the ocean, and you've got the most contagious laugh. I want to hear you laugh all day. Even before I knew you were my mate, just seeing you drove me crazy. I knew I wanted you, and I knew that, eventually, you'd figure it out, and I'm so glad you did. I know we've been through a lot of shit, but god, you're worth that a hundred times over. You're just such a good person, Louis. You do so much for other people, and you don't even realize how good you are. I'm so happy you decided I was good enough to be with you. I know we're soulmates, but you easily could have ignored it and found a male alpha to be with, but you didn't. You were so willing to adjust to it all. And now you're...you're having my baby, and sometimes it's so overwhelming to think about. Like, there's a little tiny person inside of you that we made together. That's something no one can take away from us. We may have denied being together countless times, but once this baby comes, we get to tell everyone it's ours. He's going to be a mix of us both, and he's going to be so, so loved. You're going to make such an incredible mom, Louis. Just seeing you pregnant...it drives me crazy. I have this primal instinct to keep you safe all the time, and now more than ever. I don't even want you to leave the house without me because I just want to protect you from everything bad. I see how much effort you're putting into keeping our baby safe, and it just makes me feel so warm all over. You started doing yoga, and you actually take your vitamins without me having to pester you. I see the way your eyes shine whenever someone brings up the baby, or when you touch your belly, or when we see sonograms and you get teary-eyed. You're going to be the best mum there is, I just know it. This speech was far too long, and I'm sorry. The point is, Louis, baby, I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we'll be bonded soon, but I want to put a ring on your finger. I want to have a big wedding with all of our family and friends there to witness it. I want to see you in a white dress and I want us to vow our love in front of them all. So, Louis Tomlinson, will you marry me?"
She takes the box from Louis hand and pops it open, revealing a stunning diamond ring sitting inside. It's got a large diamond in the middle, with her birthstone on either side, and inside, a small moon and sun engraved to match their soulmate tattoos. Louis cries a little harder when she sees that.
She knew the ring might be noticed in any pap shots that were still taken, but Louis knew better than to comment if it came up. They won't say anything until after the baby is born, but Louis wants to hint as much as possible. A lot of their fans already know, absolutely convinced the baby is Harry's and they've been together since the start, and Louis appreciates all their fun theories.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Louis chants, throwing her arms around Harry's neck and crying. "I love you, I love you."
Louis kisses her roughly, their teeth clanking awkwardly. Harry breaks it first, taking the ring out of the box and placing it on Louis' left hand.
"Looks gorgeous," Harry murmurs, kissing the inside of her palm.
"It's so beautiful," Louis says. "Thank you."
Louis posts a picture to Instagram with the simple caption I said yes.. Her hand is positions on her growing belly with the ring in the center of the picture. It's vague, so people can interpret as they want. Most will think it's Harry, or at least, the smart ones will. If not, they'll think it's some alpha she's secretly been dating, or maybe even the "baby daddy". Louis doesn't care, because soon enough, everyone will know that it's Harry. It's always been Harry.
~
They spend New Year's Eve alone. Every year, they have a huge party with everyone there to celebrate, but both of them agreed it would be better to spend it with each other. They're both pretty exhausted from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so they were going to spend the day home, watching movies and enjoying each other's company.
A lot of the day is spent in bed, registering for the baby and looking up possible baby names. It's almost sort of therapeutic. It's nice to have time to themselves and plan for the baby instead of having to host yet another party. Louis is so much happier this way.
"So, we're going to do a nautical theme for the nursery, right?" Louis asks, clicking through pinterest ideas for the baby's room.
"Yeah. It's definitely us," Harry grins, gesturing to all of their matching tattoos. (Louis' favorite will always be their soulmate tattoo, though).
Louis grins, and then frowns. "Woah."
"What?" Harry asks. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I...I think the baby just kicked," she whispers, like she'll scare him off.
"What?!"
"Feel," Louis says, taking her wrist and putting it on her belly. Her own hand sits next to hers and they wait. Nothing happens, though, and Louis sighs. "C'mon, sweetheart. Kick for mommy again! I felt you kick before, kiddo. Mama and mommy want to feel you kick."
"Mama?" Harry asks with a soft smile. "Is that me?"
"If you like it, yeah," Louis blushes. "Thought both of us as mommy might be confusing, you know?"
"I love it, Lou."
They smile at one another, and the baby chooses that moment to kick again. "There he goes! Did you feel him?!"
"Oh my god," Harry giggles. "He's kicking! That's our boy!"
"You kicked," Louis smiles wetly at her stomach. "You're kicking!"
"He's a real little person," Harry says, pressing a kiss to Louis' belly.
"It feels so weird," Louis says softly. "It's like...little butterflies in my tummy."
"He's going to be a footie player like mommy, maybe," Harry grins.
"Maybe," Louis giggles.
~
The baby doesn't stop kicking from there. It was cute at first, and now it's just exhausting.
"C'mon, kiddo," Louis whines, rubbing over her belly with some pressure. "Mommy wants to sleep."
"C'mere," Harry says, voice sleep-ridden.
"Go back to sleep, baby. I didn't mean to wake you," Louis whispers. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine. Let me try something."
She moves down the bed to move her face to Louis' belly. Her hand comes on top of it and rubs big circles, and begins to sing one of their songs. Louis grins to herself and closes her eyes. Harry sings I Want to Write You a Song to the baby softly, and amazingly, he stops kicking. Louis wants to thank Harry for making him stop, but she falls asleep within seconds.
~
After the New Year, Louis begins to nest intensely. There's so much time on her hands now that One Direction is on hiatus. She's always online shopping for the baby boy she's carrying, or she's out with Harry finding paint samples and going into baby stores to buy clothes. Louis truly wanted to write songs over the break, but she can't stop organizing the house to prepare.
Harry's been doing a fair amount of writing herself, especially in Louis' presence or while sitting in the nursery. (Unsurprisingly, most songs are about love, significant others, and subtle songs about an unborn baby). Harry will play the guitar and sing them when he's working on songs, and the baby always responds. When he hears Harry's voice, he begins to move around and kick, or if he's kicking and won't calm down, he settles when he hears Harry's songs. Louis coos every time.
"He's getting so big," Louis says happily, folding clothes on her lap and grinning at her belly. "I'm getting so big."
"You are," Harry smiles. "You look so gorgeous. So nice and curvy and glowing."
"Thanks," Louis flushes happily. Since she's an omega, pregnancy just agrees with her. She loves all of it, and she feels so maternal and protective and content.
"Think we have enough clothes?" Harry asks sarcastically, putting yet another stack of onsies in one of the white drawers of the baby's changing table.
"My mum said you can never have enough onesies. Plus, it's less laundry for us to do," Louis shrugs innocently, sitting in the rocking chair and wearing one of Harry's sweaters. They already have most of the stuff for the nursery, since Louis didn't feel right asking all their friends and family to provide so much stuff, especially when they have all the money in the world to do it. (Plus, Louis wanted to make sure everything was up to her standard and matched the way it was meant to. She didn't exactly trust everyone to do as good a job as she did).
"But, sweetie, we've still got four and a half months. We've got so much time left," Harry says, moving towards Louis and rubbing her upper back. "We don't have to do it all now."
"I know that," Louis defends. "But the bigger I get, the harder it'll be to do this stuff. Plus, I'll probably be pretty uncomfortable towards the end and won't want to finish up everything. If we get this all done early you won't have to do it all for me."
"I wouldn't mind that," Harry tells her honestly. "I'd do anything for you, you already know that."
"Thanks, love, but I like doing this," Louis grins. "I read about it in the books. It's normal. I'm nesting."
"Our nest is pretty complete, though."
"Not totally," Louis pouts. "C'mon, Haz, I like doing this."
"I know, baby, but we also need to live a little. The baby will be here soon and everything is going to change. Shouldn't we spend some time doing stuff we won't have time for anymore once he gets here?"
"Well, I guess," Louis frowns. "I guess the baby is all I've really been thinking about."
"And that's normal, Lou. You're being so maternal and he's all you think about, but you have to think about you, too. How about tonight we go out to a fancy dinner? Get you out of the house, you can dress up and feel good, and we'll spend some quality time together without thinking about the baby. Just for a little while."
"I guess that would be okay," Louis says quietly. Harry is right, is the thing. She doesn't leave the house very often anymore. Before the hiatus, they were so constantly away from home, and now she has every reason to be here. But she also needs to fully enjoy it before the baby comes and it won't just be Harry and Louis anymore.
"It's still early. We can go shopping and pick you out something nice, yeah? Find you something pretty, maybe a new pair of shoes, too, if you'd like."
"That would be nice," Louis smiles. "It would be nice to wear something other than sweats and yoga pants. I haven't gotten dressed up in a while."
"Christmas last month was the last time, and we didn't even get to go out. I want to show you off properly and keep hinting that you're all mine."
"Yeah, that would be really great," Louis grins. "Okay. Let's do it."
Harry kisses her happily and helps her out of the rocking chair.
~
Louis finds a gorgeous black dress, and she's nervous when she sees how tight it is. She looks at Harry from the changing room, pushing some hair behind her ear.
"I should find something else, right? It's so tight. Ugh, you can see everything. I'll just take it off," she sighs.
"Don't," Harry instructs quickly, standing up and putting her hands on her waist. "It looks incredibly. I like it tight. I like to see how your body has changed and how gorgeous your bump is. Plus, I get to see those tits I love so much."
"Harry," Louis laughs. The dress is fairly low-cut, showing off a good amount of cleavage. "It really looks okay?"
"Better than okay," Harry murmurs, kissing her softly. "I want you to wear this one. It looks so beautiful on you."
"Thanks," Louis smiles softly. "I'm thinking a pair of gold pumps?"
"If that's comfortable, yeah. That would look great together."
Louis goes to get changed and she does appreciate how good she looks in the dress. It accentuates her curves and her stomach and really, she looks hot. She feels sexy.
~
Louis ends up buying the dress plus a perfect pair of gold pumps. She's still so much shorter than Harry, especially now that Harry is wearing black stiletto heels. Louis quite likes the height difference, though.
Harry takes her to a fancy Italian restaurant and made a reservation for a private room in the back so no one would disturb them. There are paparazzi following them as they walk in, and Harry hovers protectively over Louis as they walk in. Ever since the miscarriage, the thought is in the back of her mind that it could happen again. She frankly doesn't care if they look like an obvious couple, because they are a couple, and Harry is going to protect Louis until the day she dies.
"Thanks for taking me out," Louis says as they hold hands on the table, waiting for their dessert to come. "I needed this. You were right. I guess I'm just excited about the baby coming and finally being home."
"I know, babe. I'm excited, too, but we need to enjoy these few months we have alone at home properly. I want to shag you in every surface of the house and maybe take a nice trip alone with you and just be with you as much as possible. It's going to be great when he comes, I know, but everything is going to change. We should just enjoy the freedom we have for now, yeah?"
"Yeah, I know, you're definitely right," Louis says. "I'm just being maternal and stuff. But I've got you to help ground me and make sure I enjoy myself."
"You do," Harry grins. "I'll make sure of it."
"I can't believe how much I love you," Louis says. "Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed with how important you are to me. My life seems so meaningless without you. I can't wait until we mate and properly soulbond. I can't wait to take that intimate step with you. I can't imagine how close I'm going to feel to you."
"Yeah, I know," Harry grins, kissing the back of Louis' hand. "After the baby is born, okay? Once you're properly ready for sex again, we'll do it, okay? Make a special day out of it."
"Okay," Louis grins. "It's a date."
"It's a date," Harry repeats happily.
That night, they enjoy a slice of chocolate cake together and head back home. There's even more paps on the way out, but Harry drapes herself around Louis and brings her safely to the car. Once they get home, they change out of their tight dresses and into baggy pajamas. It's nice, because their sex is incredible, but they don't need to do it just to have a good night. They spoon and kiss a little, but that's all they need. Louis is tired and being curled into Harry's arms is exactly what she needs. They're perfect together.
~
The next few months of Louis' pregnancy go extremely well. Their baby is healthy and everything for the birth is already planned out. The nursery is complete, and they got a lot of amazing stuff for the baby shower the week prior. Harry has definitely helped Louis enjoy their time alone, and they even took a short trip away to Paris. Granted, they didn't leave their Eiffel Tower view hotel room often, both in fear of there being too many people and because they enjoyed being alone in their romantic suite.
Louis' due date is getting close. It's only two weeks away, and she's gotten so big. Thankfully, most of the weight is in her belly, breasts, and ass. She has to admit, she still looks hot.
The thing is, she's so painfully horny almost all of the time. All of her hormones are going wild. She read that towards the end she'd be uncomfortable and moody, but she's really not. She still feels good, definitely good enough for sex. She doesn't know how it's even possible, but she isn't going to question it. Harry is nothing but supportive of it all.
It's that morning that Louis wakes up leaking. It's not much, just small wet spots over her nipples, but it's happening. Her milk ducts are filling up, and it explains why they've felt heavier and heavier the past few days. It's all coming to a head now.
They took lactation classes, and Louis has had a breast pump for a while in preparation. The teacher told them all that sometimes, if they couldn't feed their baby quite yet, their breasts would start to ache, and the only way to relive it would be to pump. Louis is already aching, though, and she hasn't even properly lactated yet.
Harry comes in a few moments after Louis wakes up, holding their breakfast on a tray. She walks in on Louis frowning down at her wet blue t-shirt.
"Breakfast, love," Harry says slowly, walking over to Louis and dropping a kiss to her mouth. "Is everything okay?"
"I've started," Louis says, gesturing to her breasts. "There's milk."
"That's great, babe!" Harry smiles. "That's so exciting."
"Yeah, I know," Louis says. "It's just...it hurts? Like, they're aching a lot. I feel like they could explode. I think I have to pump."
"Probably," Harry hums. "Unless...I do that for you? I'll be a lot more gentle than that pump sucking you raw."
Louis tingles at the suggestion. The image of it is to painfully arousing, and she can already feel heat coiling in her belly. She already feels slick building up between her legs.
"You'd do that?" Louis whispers.
"Fuck, yeah," Harry grins. "Gonna be so hot. I can imagine the pump hurts a lot, especially since you've never even properly done this yet."
"Yeah," Louis agrees quietly. "I, shit, yeah. I could really use your cock, Haz."
"Mm, I bet, baby," Harry smirks. "Always want my cock lately, yeah? Want my cock so bad. Want me to eat you out first, maybe? Can have you sit your pretty ass on my face."
"Yeah, yeah," Louis says quickly. "Shit, and I wanted to try something with you. is that okay?"
"Of course, Lou. Anything you want."
"Put those lovely pancakes away for now. Let me build up a proper appetite," Louis grins wickedly, pawing at her large belly as she speaks. Harry does as she's told and Louis leans into her nightstand to grab some lube, their inflatable plug, and glass one. It's their time to experiment, and she's definitely going to take advantage. "Take off your clothes, please. I need you naked, on this bed, right now."
"God, I love how horny this pregnancy makes you," Harry growls, pulling her oversized shirt off. "Gotta get you pregnant more often."
"I wouldn't stop you," Louis says. "I'll have twenty pups for you, baby."
"You're so hot," Harry groans, pulling her cotton panties down. She usually doesn't wear any pants around the house because she's always hot, and it makes sex very convenient for them.
Harry saunters over to the bed and Louis bites her lip as she watches her. Every part of her is so toned and firm, her breasts bouncing with every step. Louis is definitely dripping slick.
"You are so fucking sexy," Louis says. "Fuck, look at your body. You're so hot."
"I can say the same about you," Harry says. "Look at you with those curves and thick thighs. Now you've got that gorgeous big belly and those huge tits full of milk. Can't wait to taste how sweet it is."
"Want that, too. Stop talking and come here. Come lay down so I can sit on your beautiful face," Louis says. It sometimes amazes her at how far she's come sexually. She's gone from being so shy and submissive and self-conscious. Now, she's capable of dirty talk and experimenting with all different sorts of things and feels completely comfortable about it all.
Harry finally gets into bed next to her, laying her head on the pillows. Louis kisses her roughly, their tongues fighting and teeth clacking.
"I want to play with your asshole," Louis mumbles against Harry's lips. "Is that okay? I'll be gentle. Thought I could finger you and plug you up..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Harry nods. Louis is shocked they haven't done this before. "Do it, I want that, too."
Louis smiles and Harry helps her straddle her face. Louis does it backwards so her belly is pressing into Harry's and she has the perfect view of her cock.
"Can you open your legs for me, babe?" Louis asks, reaching for the lube. Her waist hovers above so Harry can reply.
Harry's legs open up and her feet sit on the bed. Her hands hold Louis' wide hips and pull her down. Louis laughs as she sits on her face, pouring lube onto her delicate fingers. Harry's tongue finds its way into Louis' soaked pussy, licking up the slick she's producing quickly. Louis rocks her hips lightly, grinding them down to get Harry's tongue inside of her.
Louis fingers trace the tight, puckered hole between Harry's legs. She shivers with excitement, knowing she'll be the first and only person to do this to her. Of course, they lost their virginity to each other, but this somehow seems more intimate. Her alpha trusts her enough to do something so untraditional, and that's a pretty big deal. Louis just hopes she's good for her.
One finger gently prods itself into her hole, feeling how unbelievably tight Harry is. Harry makes a noise into her cunt, and Louis can feel the vibrations of it. She presses her finger in slowly until her knuckles disappear inside of her. She retracts it just as slowly, repeating the action a few times to adjust Harry to the brand new feeling of it.
She presses a second finger in carefully, forcing them apart to scissor Harry open. Harry moans underneath her, and the reverberations inside of her make her tremble. Her orgasms since getting pregnant have been so intense, and she knows this one won't be any different. She can already feel her belly tightening up, even just from some tongue stimulation from Harry. Granted, Harry is amazing at eating her out, and Louis could come endlessly just from that alone.
"God, Harry, you're so tight. Mm, fingers barely fit inside of you," Louis moans, driving her fingers in deeper, harder. Harry groans into her, her fingernails digging into Harry's hips.
Louis sneaks a third finger in with some force when she's met with resistance. Harry keens, her hips stuttering. Louis rubs Harry's thigh with her free hand.
"I've got you, baby. Gonna take care of my alpha. Gonna make you feel so good, promise," Louis soothes. It's so easy for them to fall into these roles. It isn't always Harry being in charge, and it's so nice for them to be able to switch. Sometimes, Louis likes to take a little charge and make Harry fall apart for her.
Harry groans, and Louis can tell it's in discomfort, since her cock starts to soft slightly. Realistically, alphas aren't meant to take anything inside of them, so Louis can imagine it's not easy on her, but she has a prostate and Louis is certain she can make it good.
She tries to help ease Harry of some of her discomfort by sucking the tip of Harry's cock into her mouth. Harry moans again, and Louis smirks, knowing that was a sound of please. She takes Harry further into her mouth, her three fingers working slowly in the tight, slick heat. Harry grows harder in Louis' mouth, much to Louis' pleasure. Harry's tongue is lapping quickly inside of her, fucking her tongue in and out, Louis grinding her hips down slowly.
Harry can barely breathe. Louis' heavy weight is on her, her cunt hovering over her mouth and nose, leaking sweet slick. Harry honestly doesn't even mind. He can smell Louis' heady scent like this, and it's so incredibly hot.
When Louis grazes Harry's prostate, she moans and her cock fattens further on tongue. Louis is very pleased about it. Harry's lips suck on her clit harshly, and Louis can't hold onto her orgasm any longer. Now that she's pregnant, it's so easy for her to come, and, more frequently, squirt. She knows that's going to happen now.
She pulls off of Harry's cock to warn her. "Harry," she gasps, fucking her fingers in deeply. "Gonna, gonna fucking—fuck, mm, mm, oooh, ah!"
She cries out, her muscles tensing as she squirts harshly all over Harry's face. Harry's jaw opens up and she plants her lips around her cunt, trying to swallow all the come pouring out of her. Louis' legs shake visibly as she tries to come down from it, weak spurts still forcing out of her.
"Need to get inside of you," Harry finally says, cleaning Louis out fully with her tongue. "Gotta get you on my cock, Lou."
"Yeah, yeah," Louis nods. "Just gotta...gotta do somethin' first."
"Mm?"
Louis climbs off of her clumsily, holding the bottom of her huge belly. She grabs for the black inflatable plug and gets between Harry's legs.
"Just wanna fill you up first, yeah? Then 'm gonna ride you so hard," Louis murmurs, pressing kisses on the inside of Harry's slim thighs. "Can I?"
"Yeah, course," Harry says quickly. Louis slicks up the toy with some lube, and Harry twists three fingers back into Harry, just to make sure she's good. Harry hums in approval, so Louis takes it as a good sign. She pulls her fingers out and replaces it with the small, black bulb-shaped toy. Harry takes it well and Louis kisses her sharp hipbone.
"Just gonna pump you up, yeah? Can you take it? Pump it up nice and big inside of you while I ride you?" Louis asks softly.
"Yes," Harry murmurs.
Louis takes the pump and squeezes it a few times. Harry bites her lip through it, completely unfamiliar with being filled like Louis is.
"Want it bigger?" Louis asks softly, running her hand down Harry's flat torso. "Can you take more?"
"Y-yeah," Harry nods. Louis pumps it a few more times, and when Harry squirms under her and makes a noise of slight discomfort, she stops.
"Okay?"
"Good," Harry says slowly.
"Good," Louis smiles. "Gonna put a plug in me, too."
Harry moans and Louis grins, crawling up her body so she's straddling Harry. She takes the glass plug and slicks it up with lube and brings it behind herself. She presses it carefully against her unopened hole, gasping as it presses inside of her, sinking in until it's at the base. She's an omega, and being filled when extra tight gets her off. She adjusts to it quickly, and the toy isn't big enough to cause her any pain.
"You're leaking," Harry observes quietly, holding one of Louis' heavy breasts and swiping away a drop of milk. "Must be so full."
"Hurts," Louis says quietly.
"I'll make it stop," Harry says comfortingly. "Do you want that?"
"Yes," Louis whimpers. They're feeling heavier every moment, feeling more and more like they're going to burst.
"I've got you, love," Harry promises, rubbing Louis' hips.
Louis reaches behind herself to take hold of Harry's cock. She sits on it slowly, gasping quietly at the large push she loves so much. She can't wait until Harry is able to knot inside of her again, feel how big she gets, filling her to the brim with come, getting her pregnant again. She tries not to think about that yet.
Harry puts her hands on Louis' upper back and pulls Louis closer to her. Louis fills herself fully with Harry's cock, sitting on her balls and circling her hips lazily. Her mobility is obviously a bit impaired, being so big, so she's going to make this slow.
Harry's warm mouth encloses itself around one of Louis' swollen nipples. Just the light touch makes Louis flinch because they're so incredibly sensitive. Harry starts to suck softly at Louis' nipple. Louis whines and whimpers, but once Harry gets a good flow of milk, Louis sighs with relief. It's like a clogged sink finally being fixed and letting everything down the drain. It's not a very sexy metaphor, but it works. One of Louis' hands curls itself in Harry's long, thick hair and the other holds her belly. She's unable to go long without touching it, and even sleeps with her hand over it at night
"Yes," Louis whispers. "God, perfect."
She rocks her hips on Harry's cock carefully, not wanting Harry's mouth off of her for even a second. It feels so good. It's a relief, of course, but Harry's mouth on such a sensitive part of her is also incredible.
"Mm, Haz, yes, baby," Louis moans softly, feeling completely stuffed as she rolls her hips down. "That feels so good. So, so good. Fuck, so much better than the pump would be."
Harry's sucks are slow, long pulls. Louis can feel a large amount of milk being taken from her with every suckle, and it's so amazing. It lessens the pressure she's experiencing, and makes her breasts feel marginally lighter. Harry's hands move to the front of Louis' body to rub at Louis' large belly. The only real weight she's gained is in her stomach, and she still looks so incredibly hot.
Harry moves her mouth to the other nipple. There's painful tenderness there again, never having lactated properly, but Louis quickly gets over it when the milk starts to flood out into Harry's waiting mouth. Harry giggles around her pink flesh when the baby begins to kick underneath her hands. Louis laughs breathlessly, too, forcing her hips down all the way onto Harry's cock.
"Gonna come soon," Louis whispers, yanking on Harry's hair gently. "So fucking full."
She clenches tightly around Harry's cock, her breathing becoming labored. One of her hands slides down her belly, grinning when she feels how much the baby is kicking. Her palm sits on her lower belly and her fingers reach down to her clit, rubbing the sensitive nub.
"Fuck," Louis gasps, her legs beginning to tremble beneath her. "Gonna come, gonna come, gonna come!"
Harry doesn't stop sucking, though. Louis puts one hand around Harry's neck and strokes over her throat, feeling it bob with every swallow of milk. Louis throws her head back and lets out a broken scream, her orgasm flooding over her. She slumps forward, body shaking and holes clenching erratically.
Harry comes while buried inside of Louis', her hands stroking down Louis' back, her stomach, and her thighs. She finally lets go of Louis' nipple, her lips shiny and pink. Louis pulls her in for a rough kiss, biting on her bottom lip.
"I'm not using that pump at all with you around," Louis says against her lips. "You're so much better at it."
"I'll be here for ya, babe," Harry laughs. "Any time you need me. God it's so good. Really sweet."
"Glad to hear I'll have you around then," Louis grins, slowly lifting her hips off of Harry's softening cock. "Definitely going to need to help me out."
"Any time you need me."
"Gotta get this plug out of you before we go to bed," Louis murmurs, crawling down the bed. "Think you can push it out for me?"
"I can try," Harry says, spreading her legs open. Louis kisses her taint and rubs her thumb there, pushing on it gently.
"If you can't 's okay," Louis mumbles. "Can make it small again and get it out."
"I got it," Harry says. "I think."
"Okay."
Harry pushes harshly, biting her lip and feeling her hole expanding around the plastic. She gasps as it pops out of her.
"So fucking hot," Louis murmurs, kissing the slightly opened hole. "Gorgeous."
Harry pants slightly, now feeling so boneless. She watches Louis below her, her arm reaching behind her and pulling out her own glass plug with a moan. She takes both of the toys and puts them on the nightstand, leaving them to be washed in the morning.
"How was that?" Louis asks, gluing herself to Harry's side, her belly pressing into Harry's.
"Incredible, as usual," Harry murmurs, pressing her lips to Louis' sweaty forehead. "Always amazing with you. How are you feeling?"
"Much better," Louis says through a yawn. "It hurt so bad but it feels so much better now, so thank you."
"I can't imagine the pump being very pleasurable, and it got us both off. What's better than that?"
"True," Louis grins. "I'm gonna need a nap. We'll eat breakfast after. Make it brunch."
"Sounds perfect to me," Harry murmurs, kissing Louis tenderly.
~
Louis gives birth to Ethan Styles on May 5th. Everything goes smoothly and their baby is a healthy, beautiful boy. Harry takes a picture of Louis holding Ethan, looking radiant in the morning light. She's smiling fondly down at the baby in her arms, her hair in a messy bun, tired lines next to her eyes. She emanates such raw beauty, without any makeup on and radiating such pure happiness. It's the most gorgeous Harry has ever seen her.
She posts it to Instagram, knowing this is where it all comes out. This is their big step they've been wanting to take for almost six years.
Welcome to our world, Ethan. We love you so much, and we're so excited to be your moms. We're so happy you've finally shown your lovely face to us xx
Everyone basically loses their minds from there.
~
"Louis, let's go out tonight, yeah? Just the two of us," Harry suggests that morning in bed. Louis is under the covers feeding their one-month-old son. She brushes her hair out of her face when she looks at Harry and frowns.
"We can't leave Ethan here," she says, looking back down at him and cooing. "Can't leave my baby."
"One of our mum's can watch him," Harry urges. "Or Gemma, or your sisters, or one of the girls. Plenty of people around to babysit him, love."
"I know that," Louis pouts. "But...he's so little. I don't think I can leave him yet."
"Louis, baby, it's been a month. You haven't been away from Ethan for more than three minutes. It's not healthy, babe. We have to leave him sometime. Not for long, babe, but just for a little while. Just to get out of the house for a bit. All you've done the past month is feed, change, and bathe Ethan while sometimes eating, sleeping, and bathing yourself. C'mon, baby, just for a little while. You need to get out. The older he gets, the harder it'll be for you to leave."
"I...it's so hard," Louis says quietly. "I'm nervous."
"You have no reason, sweetheart. Our mums know exactly what they're doing with babies, and they'll take good care of him. We'll go wherever you want, okay?" Harry says, stroking Louis' back with one hand and rubbing the bottom of Ethan's foot with the other.
"You're probably right," Louis sighs, defeated. "I'll call my mum and asked to watch Ethan tonight. We can...get dinner, or something."
"We can go to a club, if you're up for it? Go dancing. We can be a proper couple in public, Lou. We can kiss and dance and hold hands in front of everyone. Want to do that?" Harry asks.
"I don't know how fun I'll be," Louis laughs. "But we can go dancing, if you'd like. It would be pretty cool to get to grind on you in a room full of people."
"Would be very cool," Harry agrees with a smile. "Do everything we haven't been able to do before. And I promise we won't stay out too late if you don't want to. We'll come home as early as you want to get back to Ethan."
"Thanks," Louis smiles a little, lifting Ethan onto his chest to burp him.
~
Louis calls her mum to ask if she'll babysit for a little while, and she's nothing but supportive of the idea, giving her a short lecture about why it's important for them to have some healthy time apart. Louis rolls her eyes and tells her Harry has pretty much already covered that speech.
Louis and Harry get all dressed up to go out, Louis wearing a tight black dress that shows off her cleavage nicely and silver heels. Harry wears a short lavender dress to show off her long, lovely legs and black heels. Louis curls Harry's hair so it's extra springy and lovely, and Louis wears hers in waves down her back.
"Think you're ready to go?" Harry asks, putting his hand on Louis' lower back.
"Yeah, think so," Louis says. Her breasts already hurt from being away from Ethan but she's determined to go out. She needs this. They need this.
They end up going to a club downtown, inviting Liam and Niall to come along. Louis feels an odd sense of nerves, which is to be expected, since she's away from Ethan for the first time. Technically, for the past year, he's always been with her, carrying him inside of her for nine months and now taking care of her newborn. It's not an easy separation, and she can physically feel that (especially in her aching breasts). Plus, this is her first time in a club where she can actually be with Harry. There's nothing holding them back. They don't have to keep their distance in case anyone sees, they don't have to restrain from touching each other. They can touch and dance together and even kiss in public and it's okay. That's enough motivation to get rid of the nerves.
"Want a drink, Lou?" Niall asks, standing up and about to walk to the bar to get them all a round.
"Oh, I...I really shouldn't with my breast milk," Louis says. She completely forgot half the reason they go to clubs is so they can drink, and Louis can't really do that.
"You can drink, love," Harry says. "I read it in the book. They do this thing called Pump and Dump where they drink and then pump and don't use the milk. Just make sure the alcohol is out of your system and you'll be fine. though you should take it easy, because apparently it's going to hit you a lot harder and faster now, so I'll keep an eye on you."
"Oh, thank you," Louis smiles. She can't believe the amount of work Harry has put into this whole thing. She even did her research to make sure Louis has the most amount of fun possible tonight to truly enjoy herself. "I'll take it easy, then."
"Don't want you getting sick," Harry murmurs, kissing her temple. "Gotta make sure we get a snack for you, too, and some water."
"I know how to drink safely, babe," Louis grins. "But thank you for the concern. Very sweet of you."
"Just want to keep you safe."
"I know."
Louis presses a kiss to her stained red lips with a smile. Louis gets a glass of white wine instead of something sugary and super alcoholic. Harry gets a cosmopolitan because she can, obviously, handle her liquor better than Louis can right now.
By the end of her first glass, she feels pleasantly buzzed. It usually takes her two glasses, but it's going right through her. Louis pulls Harry out onto the dance floor after she finished her own cosmo. The club has great music and the alcohol is just what she needed to get into the right headspace. She finally isn't thinking about Ethan and she can dedicate herself to Harry for the night.
"We get to dance with each other in front of everyone," Louis grins happily, shouting over the music. "I'm going to grind on your cock all night in front of all of these people."
"Go for it, baby," Harry laughs. Louis winks and turns her body, pressing her ass to Harry's crotch. Harry wraps an arm loosely around her waist and they sway to the music. It feels so odd to do something so intimate in front of all these people, in such a public area. Harry's lips latch onto Louis' throat, sucking a bruise into the skin. The alcohol is thrumming pleasantly through Louis' veins and making her feel on top of the world.
She doesn't think about Ethan at all, and it's so strange. The only thing on her mind is Harry Harry Harry, Harry all over her, kissing her bare skin and touching her body. She enjoys another glass of wine, draping herself over Harry and kissing in a booth. She doesn't think about Ethan, until she does.
As Harry and Louis are kissing in the booth, touching all over each other, a girl from the next booth begins to cry loudly, wailing about someone leaving her. Louis freezes. She's read about this happening, but she didn't actually think it would. Since she's still getting used to feeding Ethan, and the timing is still a little wonky, she leaks when she hears him crying, knowing that he needs to eat. But now, this girl crying about her love life has made Louis' nipples ache and drip pitifully.
"Haz," Louis says quietly as Harry sucks on her jaw.
"Mm, so good," Harry murmurs against the skin.
"No, Haz, shit, did I leave my pump at home? 'm leaking."
Harry finally detaches herself and looks at Louis. Thankfully, it hasn't gone through her bra yet, but if she sits like this, it'll definitely show onto her dress. Between the alcohol and the crying, she feels so painfully full and she needs to do something about it. At home, if her breasts ache and Ethan is asleep, she always has her pump on hand. Harry helps her out a lot, of course, but this has become incredibly frequent. She pumps so many bottles every day because she's just so full, and the doctor said it varies from omega to omega, and this is completely fine.
It just so happens Louis produces a lot.
"I didn't see you pack it," Harry says slowly. "Does it hurt?"
"Yeah," Louis groans uncomfortably. "Yeah, fuck. And that, shit, that girl keeps crying."
Another long wail comes from beside them and Louis sighs, more milk leaking out. They already feel heavy and painful from the alcohol, and normally a glass and a half of wine wouldn't affect her this much, but her head is spinning slightly and she feels off-balance.
"Here, let's go to the bathroom," Harry says soothingly, helping Louis out of the booth. She holds Louis' hand as she leads her through the crowd of people, and Louis flushes deeply, hoping that no one can see how much she's leaking.
When they finally get into the small bathroom, Harry brings her into the handicap stall, since they'll have more room in there. Harry makes sure to lock the door and presses Louis against it gently. She helps Louis take off her dress and pulls it down her front. Louis has lost almost all of her baby weight, since she didn't gain a lot to begin with and the breastfeeding has melted it off. Harry unhooks her bra and hangs it on the handle of the door. She cups Louis' breasts in her hands very carefully, and Louis whimpers. They're swollen and the veins are prominent and even Harry's gentle touch feels like too much.
"Harry," Louis whines, her eyes tearing up. "They hurt so bad. Please, Harry."
"I've got you, love, I've got you. It might hurt at first, okay? But I'll make it better, I promise. Then we can go home, if you want," Harry says and kisses her neck.
"Yeah," Louis sniffs. At this point, she's just tired. Her feet hurt in her heels and the alcohol is starting to make her tired. She misses Ethan so much, especially with the way she's aching, knowing he needs to be fed.
"Alright, baby, 'm sorry but it's gonna help, okay?"
"I know," Louis nods. "Go ahead, please. I need it."
Harry latches her mouth to one of her swollen nipples and a tear falls down Louis cheek. It's so fucking sensitive, but she knows this is the only way it'll help. Harry sucks as gently as she can, and Louis bites her lip when she feels that wonderful sense of relief, like an overfilled balloon expelling air.
"Thank you thank you thank you," Louis mumbles. "Finally."
Harry's mouth is warm and soft and wonderful, swallowing down every drop she has to offer. It doesn't taste the same, tainted with alcohol, but Louis needs this, and it's fine.
She switches to the other side, making sure to even it out. Louis runs her hands through Harry's curls, not caring how messed up they get. They're going home after this, anyway, where Louis can cuddle with his two favorite people in the world.
"You're amazing," Louis whispers. "You do everything for me, all the time. You treat me so well, Harry. God, you're the best mate in the whole world. So fucking happy you're mine."
Harry takes a few more swallows before letting go and looking at Louis. "Feel better?"
"Yes, yes, thank you," Louis sighs. "So much better, thank you. Now I won't even have to pump and dump."
"Glad I could help," Harry smiles, kissing her lips softly. "Ready to go home? Been a long night for you."
"Yeah, I'm ready. It was a lot of fun. I'm glad you made me do this," Louis says, kissing her again.
"We'll make sure to do this kind of stuff more. I like to take you out and show you off. Probably the alpha in me," Harry giggles. "Glad you had fun, love. We'll go pick up Ethan and get you both home in your pajamas. How does that sound? You can feed him and I'll make you some tea."
"That sounds perfect," Louis smiles. Harry helps her back into her bra and her dress, and Louis frowns, the bra damp with milk. It's not very comfortable, and she can't wait to get home and put on some fresh, clean clothes, hold her baby in her hands while being held in Harry's arms. It's the perfect ending to a great night, really.
They find Niall and Liam to tell them they're going to head home for Ethan and they all exchange their goodbyes. When they get to Louis' mum's house, she picks up a very awake and alert Ethan, probably close to feeding time.
"How was he?" Louis asks, picking Ethan up and cooing at him.
"He was wonderful. He should be eating soon. How was your first night out, mommy?" Jay smiles.
"It was good, actually," Louis says, trying not to blush about their detour into the bathroom. "Missed him tons, of course, but I made it."
"Just an adjustment, love. Soon you're going to want him out of the house all the time just for some peace and quiet."
"Never," Louis says, holding Ethan closer. "Never want to be away from my little mushie moo."
"You'll see," Jay laughs.
"Thanks for watching him," Harry says.
"Oh, anytime! I'm so excited I finally have a little boy," Jay says at the baby, shaking his tiny hand. "I love my grandson."
"Thanks, mum. We're going to head home to get him ready for bed," Louis says.
They exchange their goodbyes with Jay and head back to the car, Harry strapping Ethan into the car seat so Louis can head into the passenger seat. She's still a little sore from the pregnancy, still not used to her normal body quite yet, and still definitely not ready for sex.
When Harry gets into the driver's seat, Louis holds her hand and kisses it. "Thanks again for taking me out. I really did enjoy myself. I needed this."
"I know you did, babe. Any time you want, anywhere you want."
"Mm, but right now, bed."
~
~
A few weeks later, when Louis is given the okay to have sex again, they plan an entire night alone so they can finally, finally mate. They bring Ethan to Gemma's house on a Saturday night, making sure that he has plenty of bottles and diapers and several changes of clothes. Really, it would probably last him three nights rather than one, but Louis is a very overprotective mother. She can't really be blamed.
"You okay?" Harry asks when they get back from dropping the baby off.
"I'm okay," Louis responds. "It's...getting easier, I think. You know, to be away from him. I know I have to do it, though. All the books say it's healthy, and I know it is. It's only been 10 weeks, though. The books say it could take a few months for me to feel fully okay with it. All the hormones and everything..."
"I know, love. You're fine. You're doing so well. You're such an amazing mother, and you're so good with him. I know it must not be easy to be without him. It's not easy for me, either, babe. He's our baby, but we need to know how to be our own people, too, not just moms. That's the healthiest thing for us," Harry says, pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead.
"You're right," Louis says. "You're right. Right now, we're going to be our own people. We're going to go into our bedroom, we're going to make love, and you're going to officially make me your mate."
"Finally," Harry whispers happily. "I want to do just that."
"Good," Louis breathes. Harry intertwines their fingers and kisses her knuckles. They walk into their bedroom and fall into bed together, like they do every night. It reminds Louis of their first time together. So much has changed since then, and it's all for the better. She feels that pleasant excitement in her belly like she did on their first night together, and even though she was nervous, she was so sure of what she wanted. She feels the same way now.
They undress each other slowly, mouths brushing whatever part of their bodies they can reach. Harry's lips hover over the long span of Louis' neck for a long moment, right where she plans to bite her and mate her officially for life.
They usually talk a lot during sex, but it's quiet tonight. Their heavy breathing and sounds of lips pressing against skin is the only real noise in the room. One of Louis' legs wraps around Harry's waist, spreading her legs open to take Harry in. There doesn't need to be an exchange of words, because they both understand each other so well. They know each other strictly by body language and a short glance at each other. They're so incredibly attuned to each other in every way, and Louis isn't sure if it's because they're soulmates or if they just love each other that much. She knows once Harry bites her, mates her, it's going to become even more intense.
It's silent as Harry enters Louis carefully, spreading her open and making Louis moan softly. She tosses her head back onto the pillow behind her, closing her eyes and giving a short tug to Harry's curls. Harry's face curls into Louis' neck, her teeth grazing the skin way too softly. Louis wants a harsh bite, but Harry is teasing. Louis has to be on her knot when they mate, though, so she's trying to be patient.
Harry fucks into her slowly but harshly, both of their breasts bouncing with each thrust. They kiss heatedly, Louis' arms wrapped around Harry's neck and rubbing at her upper back. Harry holds Louis tightly by the hips and bites at her bottom lip whenever she gets the chance.
It doesn't take much time for Harry's knot to begin to swell. Louis tries to thrusts her tips up, taking Harry's cock further inside of her. Her fingers stroke down the knobs of Harry's spine and arches her upper back, pressing her breasts into Harry's own.
"Mate me," Louis gasps into Harry's ear. That pushes Harry over the edge, her hips pushing into Louis all the way, her knot expanding fully inside of her and beginning to pump out come. Harry's teeth bite harshly into Louis' neck, drawing blood to the surface. It's like they were both shocked by an electrical outlet, shivers running through every nerve. Their pupils dilate, goosebumps rise over their skin, and they both can feel a deep connection between them, like they're hearts are tied together by string and they can't go too far apart without them breaking.
"I love you. I love every single part of you," Harry whispers in Louis' ear, her hands rubbing up and down her sides.
"I love you," Louis replies. "I love you with every fiber of my being."
They kiss again, lips brushing with no rush. They feel like they have all the time in the world, like they're the only people on the planet.
Louis freezes a few moments in, though, pulling away quickly. "Oh my god."
"What is it, love?" Harry asks, her fingers stroking the mating mark on her neck.
"I forgot my pill. I've missed it the past three nights. I've been so tired with Ethan that I just...I didn't remember to take them."
"Oh," Harry says softly, looking down where they're tied together, tons and tons of come pumping inside of Louis.
"Fuck, Harry, I'm so sorry. I can't believe how irresponsible I am," Louis says, beginning to get worked up. Harry kisses her to stop her from talking.
"You're fine, love, you're fine. If it happens, we figure it out. It isn't the end of the world. It wouldn't be a bad thing, would it?"
"No, it wouldn't," Louis sighs. "Could give Ethan a sister."
"That would be quite nice," Harry grins. "We'd be able to handle it."
"You're right," Louis nods. Harry puts a hand over Louis' belly which is beginning to swell with each gush of come.
"I love seeing you glowing with my pups, anyway," Harry tells her. "Love seeing you grow every day, knowing I did that to you."
"Does something for you?" Louis giggles softly.
"You already knew that," Harry giggles back.
"Well, I guess only time will tell. It is what it is," Louis shrugs, arching her back to try and get more comfortable as they wait out Harry's knot.
"It is what it is," Harry repeats softly.
(They both know deep down that they've just conceived their second child. Neither of them are disappointed).
~
Five Years Later
Once Louis found out she was pregnant again, only ten weeks after giving birth to Ethan, Harry and Louis made the decision that maybe being in One Direction wasn't going to work out anymore. With two young kids, being on tour is probably not the best idea. It was a difficult choice to make, but the girls had all decided it would be the best choice, especially since Liam has found a mate, and they all thought it might be about time to settle down. They felt bad for a long time, since they continually promised the fans they'd come back, but people understood it was because of their families. They still planned to do things, like maybe write songs or do some things on their own, but touring would be impossible.
The fans didn't take it lightly, but they showed unconditional support for them, especially Harry and Louis. When they officially came out, everyone knowing they were soulmates and mated and even engaged, there wasn't as much backlash as they thought. A lot of fans already had the strong feeling they were already a couple, possibly even soulmates, from the way they looked at each other. Once Louis got pregnant the first time around and everyone saw how incredibly close they were, they knew. They knew it wasn't someone else's baby, but Harry's, because they were meant to be together.
In March of the following year, Louis gave birth to a beautiful little girl, Luna. Harry came up with the name one night before bed, rubbing the tattoo on Louis' rib cage. It was right after they had found out the sex, and Harry whispered it into the dark room. It clicked so easily, and Louis knew they wouldn't even have to see the baby to name it. Luna made perfect sense.
Two and a half years later, they brought twins into the world; a little girl named Olivia, and a little boy named Aiden. They were conceived during Louis and Harry's honeymoon away in Hawaii. It was funny, because even though they've been everywhere in the world, they had never been to Hawaii, and they always mentioned going. It seemed like a perfect excuse. When they got back from their honeymoon a month later, Louis was confirmed pregnant. They were both ecstatic about it.
So, now, five years later, they've got a five year old, a four year old, and twin year and a half year olds. Their house is chaos more often than not, but they wouldn't have it any other way. They've moved into a large house outside of London with a big backyard for the kids to play with a swing set and an in ground pool for them they have their large parties in the summer. (Louis was against the idea until Harry assured her it would be heavily gated away from the swing set so the kids would be safe).
It's now Christmas Eve, and Louis' 27th birthday. They wake up a little earlier today just to get some alone time before the kids wake up and chaos begins. Louis is standing in front of the stove while pancakes cook on the griddle, standing in between Harry's arms. Harry is doing the actual cooking, with her front pressed to Louis' back and her chin hooked over her shoulder. Harry has tried teaching Louis how to cook countless time, and she's just not very skilled in this one department. It's okay, though, because Harry is always there for this part.
"Smells delicious," Louis murmurs. Their voices are soft, full of sleep and not wanting to break this quiet, private moment they have. Once the kids wake up, everything is loud and crazy.
"Your favorite for your birthday," Harry murmurs in her ear, flipping the pancakes on the hot stove.
"Thanks, love. What time did you say Liam was coming to take the kids?"
"She said noon. I asked her to bring them back before five so we'd have time to have dinner and get them all ready for bed. I've already got all of their bags packed."
"You are the best mate in the world," Louis says. Harry decided it would be nice if Liam took the kids for the day so that the two of them could have a little bit of time to themselves to celebrate Louis' birthday. They haven't had much alone time since the twins came along, since it was a lot harder to get time to themselves when there were four kids to worry about. They weren't really going to do much for her birthday, other than just go grab lunch together and spend some time at home. Plus, if they had a little bit of time to have sex, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
"It's your birthday, babe. I have to give you a proper birthday. Then for dinner, we'll celebrate with the kids and do everything we have to do," Harry says, putting a pancake on a plate. Louis rips a piece of instantly, regretting it when she feels how hot it is.
"Ouch! I burnt myself," Louis pouts, holding out her finger to show Harry.
"Do you want mama to kiss it better?" Harry grins.
"Yes please."
Harry kisses it and Louis smiles, turning and kissing Harry's cheek. "Thank you."
She reaches again to take the small piece of pancake and blows on it before plopping it into her mouth. She chews it and moans.
"God, no one's pancakes are better than yours. These are so fluffy and amazing. Mm, so good."
"Glad you like it," Harry grins. They lean in to kiss, but a loud cry from upstairs startles them out of it.
"Well, that'll surely wake them all up. I'll get them," Harry says.
"You sure? I can do it."
"No, you just look out for the pancakes," Harry instructs, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.
"Oh," Louis fish mouths. "You...you're trusting me with this?"
"You can handle it, love. Just flip them over and take them off when they don't stick anymore. You've got it."
"Alright," Louis swallows. "Sure."
Harry jogs up the stairs to get Olivia to stop crying. She always wakes up the earliest, it seems. Even after bringing them home from the hospital, Aiden would much rather sleep than cry, and Olivia was the complete opposite. She was a definitely challenge for them.
By the time Harry comes downstairs holding each twin on her hip and Ethan and Luna running behind her, Louis is frowning deeply at the burnt stack of pancakes she created.
"Happy birthday mommy!" the kids all shout sporadically.
"Oh, goodness, you scared me!" Louis laughs, turning around to face them. Luna and Ethan come running into her arms, and Louis squats down to catch them. The twins fight to try and wiggle out of Harry's arms, wanting to get to their other mom as well. Harry laughs and sets them down, letting them run at her.
"Oh, thank you my loves!" Louis grins, spreading her arms as wide as she can to reach for them all. "Mama made pancakes for us!"
"Yummy!" Olivia cries. She's also the loudest one of the bunch, which, realistically, she gets from Louis. No denying that.
"Mommy helped make them," Harry reminds her.
"No, mommy burnt some," Louis sighs, standing up and gesturing to the black pancakes.
"That's alright," Harry murmurs quietly to Louis. "Got plenty more batter."
"Good, because I'm starving," Louis says. The past few weeks, she's been so hungry all day, rifling through their pantry and fridge to find snacks. She thinks it must be a hormonal thing.
"Alright, everyone sit, sit, sit," Harry says, shooing the kids to their breakfast nook table.
"What does everyone want to drink?" Louis asks, automatically regretting it when all four kids shout things at the same time. "Woah, woah, one at a time! Ethan, you go first."
"Chocolate milk!"
"Alright. Luna?"
"Orange juice. No! Apple juice. No! Chocolate milk."
Louis rolls her eyes fondly. "Chocolate milk?"
"Yes," Luna says firmly.
"Liv? What do you want, love?"
"Milk!"
"Okay. Aiden, babe?"
"Apple juice, please!"
"Very nice manners," Louis praises. "Alright, two chocolate milks, one regular milk, and an apple juice. Did I get that right, mama?"
"I think you did, mommy," Harry says. They got into the habit of calling each other mommy and mama around Ethan when he was learning to talk, and they just continued on with the other kids. It's hard to break habits now.
"Alright, pancakes coming through!" Harry announces, bringing a large plate onto the table. She gives one to Ethan and Luna, making sure to receive a thank you from them both. She cuts up a pancake each for the twins and puts it in front of them while Louis sets down the appropriate sippy cups for each kid. Louis finally sits down across from Harry and gives her a private smile.
"Can we sing mommy happy birthday?" Luna asks.
"I think that's a good idea," Harry grins. "But we have to sing again tonight when we have cake, remember?"
"We can sing it twice!" Ethan says. "It'll be super special then."
"It will be," Harry agrees. "Okay, on the count of three!"
They all start to sing, except the twins sort of just yell along, giggling madly. Louis can feel the love spread through her entire body, her heart feeling like it's too big to fit into her chest because it's so full of love.
"Thank you, my loves," Louis says happily. "That was beautiful."
They eat their breakfast together, chatting pleasantly about their day ahead. The kids are always excited to see their Aunt Liam, and the rumor is that she'll be taking them sledding.
"Do you want to get them ready to go and I'll clean up?" Harry asks, wiping some syrup off of Olivia's cheek.
"Yeah, that's fine," Louis says, standing up. "Alright, loves, time to get ready!"
She takes both of the twins in her arms and follows Ethan and Luna up the stairs. She asks Luna and Ethan to dress themselves, and she knows they'll try their best, but she knows they'll end up wearing summer clothes or getting their head stuck in a sleeve. Louis loves them all so much it hurts.
She gets the twins ready in warm clothes, knowing Liam and her mate will play in the snow with them until their lips are blue because the kids adore the snow. They'd stay in the snow until their noses fell off if it were up to them.
When she's done with them, she has to fix Ethan and Luna's outfits (of course) because they definitely aren't warm enough for the bitter cold outside.
"This dress is beautiful, Luna, but maybe we should save this for summer time, yeah?" Louis asks softly.
"Maybe," Luna shrugs.
Louis goes to her closet to pick out a more appropriate outfit and lets her dress herself, then does the same for Ethan. Once they're all ready, she grabs the bags Harry packed for them and heads back downstairs so the kids can occupy themselves in the playroom before Liam comes over to get them.
When she's done with them, she has to fix Ethan and Luna's outfits (of course) because it definitely warm enough for the bitter cold outside.
"This dress is beautiful, Luna, but maybe we should save this for summer time, yeah?" Louis asks softly.
"Maybe," Luna shrugs.
Louis goes to her closet to pick out a more appropriate outfit and lets her dress herself, then does the same for Ethan. Once they're all ready, she grabs the bags Harry packed for them and heads back downstairs so the kids can occupy themselves in the playroom before Liam comes over to get them.
"All ready to go?" Harry asks, closing the dishwasher and turning it on.
"Yup, they're all set. Where are we going for lunch? What should I wear?" Louis asks, leaning on the island counter.
"Dress nice," Harry says. "But nothing too fancy, okay? Just a simple dress will be fine."
"Sounds good," Louis nods. "I'm gonna hop in the shower. Will you watch the kids?"
"Yeah, go ahead, love."
Louis gives her a quick kiss before walking upstairs to go shower. By the time she's done, she can hear Liam downstairs with the kids and Harry so she throws a robe on quickly with slippers and walks downstairs.
"Hey, Li," Louis smiles. "Sorry, I just got out of the shower."
"Happy birthday!" Liam greets, giving Louis a hug.
"Thanks," Louis smiles. "And thanks for taking the kids for us today. We still have some stuff to do before tonight and tomorrow so we can use the time alone."
"Yeah, of course. I'll know what that's like soon," Liam says, her eyes shining and biting back a smile. Louis' eyes widen and she squeals.
"Are you pregnant?!"
"Yeah, I just found out a few days ago," Liam says happily. "We're so excited."
"I'm so happy for you guys!"
"Thanks, Lou. I should let you guys get to it though. I know you guys want them back before dinner," Liam says.
"Yeah, please. We're making cookies with them and we'll decorate after we eat then give them a bath. They'll probably manage to cover themselves head to toe in flour and sugar and icing so it'll be interesting," Louis smiles at his kids, sitting on the floor playing with some toys.
"Alright, kiddos, it's time to go!" Liam says, clapping her hands. "Everyone ready to go?"
"All ready!" Luna says happily, taking her backpack and putting the straps over her shoulders with a little bit of difficulty. Harry moves behind her to help sit the bag on her back properly.
Liam bends over to take the twins in her arms. "Say goodbye!"
"Bye mommy!" the twins shout, leaning their bodies out of Liam's arms to reach out for Louis. Louis grins and kisses them both.
"Goodbye, my loves, I'll see you later!"
"Bye mama!" they yell, and Harry laughs, kissing them as well.
"Bye, lovelies. I'll see you tonight."
"Ethan, Luna, are you going to be good for Aunt Liam?" Louis asks, looking down at them with an arched eyebrow.
"Yes, mommy," the reply obediently.
"Okay, good, because Santa is watching!" Louis says. "He'll know if you two are being naughty. When you get home we're going to make cookies if Aunt Liam said you behaved."
"We will!" Luna promises. "We're always good."
"Hmm, I don't know about always," Louis laughs. "I'll see you later, okay, loves?"
They both run to hug Louis and she kisses them both, giving them a good squeeze. It's still hard to leave her kids, because she hates being separated from them, but she knows she has to do it. She's gotten much better at it, and it's a lot easier when they're no longer infants breastfeeding and absolutely needing their mother around.
"Alright, I love you. Have lots of fun, okay?" Louis says, pressing another kiss to each of the foreheads.
"Love you too, mommy," they say. Louis stands up and watches Harry perform the same goodbye ritual, kissing and hugging them both and telling them she loves them. They walk them out of the door and wave goodbye as they move out to Liam's car.
When the door closes, Louis turns to smile at Harry. She wraps her arms around her neck and presses her mouth to Harry's. "I'm going to finish getting ready."
"Go ahead, babe. I'm gonna be in the study finishing up some wrapping," Harry says.
"Alright," Louis replies, kissing her again.
They walk upstairs and Louis goes back to their bedroom, rifling through their closet to find something to wear. She settles on a simple black sweater dress and brown boots to match. She dries her hair in the bathroom and puts on her makeup, then changes into her outfit for the day.
She knocks on the door of their study. They kept the study as a small little sanctuary for themselves that the kids don't have access to. Sometimes, if things get overwhelming, one of them will go in there to just be alone for a little while, maybe read a book or listen to music to chill out. It's got a nice little window nook with throw pillows and a blanket, and a big cozy armchair. There's been a lot of time spent together on that armchair, a pregnant Louis on Harry's lap and looking at baby names and paint chips, or planning for their wedding and picking out centerpieces. Louis loves this room.
"Come in," Harry says, and Louis opens the door.
"Wanted to make sure you weren't wrapping a gift for me," Louis smirks.
"Nope, yours are all done," Harry grins. "Just stuff for the kids."
"Ethan is starting to get harder to shop for, innit?" Louis laughs softly. "The twins are so easy. They're happier with the boxes their toys came in rather than the actual toys themselves. Ethan is starting to get pickier, though."
"Mm, you're right. But I think we got him some good stuff. We got everything on his list to Santa and we know what he likes. Plus we have those Toy Story pajamas for him tonight which he's going to flip out over," Harry grins. "I can't believe how old that movie is and it's somehow still his favorite movie no matter what else he sees."
"It's a classic," Louis laughs. "He's going to love them. Let me finish the wrapping and you can go get ready so we can leave."
"Thanks, babe. You look gorgeous, by the way. Love that dress on you."
"Thank you," Louis smiles, smoothing it down her sides. "Thank you Calvin Klein."
Harry laughs and kisses her quickly before walking out of the room. Louis finishes wrapping gifts, using the desk as a flat surface. She smiles softly to herself. She can't wait to see the kids' faces when they open up gifts, thinking that Santa granted their wishes and the elves worked hard to make toys just for them. Louis loves the holidays even more now that she's got kids.
When she was younger, Christmas was always difficult, because her birthday was often forgotten or much less important because of the big holiday the next day. Everyone was too preoccupied for her birthday. Now that she has a wife and kids, it's so different. Her birthday has become so important, because she's got the best family around her. They always go the extra mile to make her birthday special. Her birthday doesn't even matter as much anymore, though, because seeing how happy the kids get. They love helping decorate the tree and making cookies and Christmas cards for their friends and family members. Everything is so much happier and brighter around the holidays. It's definitely her favorite time of year.
Harry comes into the study once Louis is done wrapping. She's sitting in the armchair on her laptop and she looks up when she hears Harry come in. She smiles when she sees Harry in a black skirt and a red blouse.
"Look beautiful," Louis smiles, closing her laptop and sticking it on the desk. "Santa is done with all the wrapping and everything is ready for tonight."
"Perfect. Time for us to go, then," Harry says, sticking her hand out for Louis to grab. She helps her out of the armchair and intertwines their fingers as they walk down the stairs. They grab their coats and keys and head out the door.
They go to a cute little restaurant in London. They live right outside of London now, so the drive isn't too bad, and it keeps them just close enough to visit whenever they want. The restaurant is dimly lit with roses on every table and candles lit. It's got a very cozy ambiance.
"How'd you find this place?" Louis asks, tearing apart her bread and eating it.
"I was driving around here getting presents and I passed it and I thought it was really nice. I thought you'd like it."
"You know me well," Louis grins. "It's so adorable and quaint. It feels so homey."
"It's lovely," Harry agrees. "Places you find by accident are usually the best."
Louis hums in agreement, looking over her menu to see what she wants to eat. "Everything looks so delicious. I think I'm in the mood for pasta. What are you getting?"
"Mm, pasta sounds good," Harry murmurs. "The lobster ravioli looks amazing."
"Oh, it does. I think I'm gonna have the lasagna with prosciutto," Louis says. "With a nice glass of wine."
"Maybe we shouldn't drink," Harry says casually. "You know it's going to be a long night. Santa has to come tonight and we don't want you all giggly when he's trying to deliver his presents, baby."
"That's true," Louis says. "Wouldn't want that."
Harry smiles and their waiter comes over to take their order. They both order sparkling water and stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer. Louis sometimes forgets how much fun they have when it's just them. The kids are incredible, and they love them to death, but sometimes, it's so lovely to be alone with each other for a little while. It reminds Louis of how it was back when they were a new couple, newly in love with love and each other. She gets nostalgic about it, but she would never trade the life they have now. She doesn't miss the hiding, or the back to back to back interviews and meetings. She doesn't miss being away from home for so long or the odd sleeping patterns. She loves her home, she loves her kids, she loves her life, and most importantly, she loves Harry. This ordinary life is exactly what she wants for the rest of her life.
"Hey," Louis murmurs, linking their ankles under the table and intertwining their hands together.
"Hi," Harry smiles.
"I love you a lot, you know. Thank you for this."
"I love you too," Harry grins softly. "It's your birthday. Of course I'm going to make sure you have an amazing day. You're my wife."
"I am," Louis smiles wide. They've been married for four years and Louis still feels warm inside when Harry uses the word wife. "Thank you for everything you do."
They share a warm smile and kiss softly.
~
After their birthday lunch together, they don't manage to have sex, but Harry does have time to eat Louis out, which is almost just as good. They make sure everything is ready to go for tonight and tomorrow. Thankfully, Anne and Robin are hosting Christmas dinner, so they don't have to stress about it. All they have to bring is themselves (and dessert).
Once the kids are dropped off, they all gather in the kitchen to make cookies. The twins end up being far too cranky for it, so Louis puts them down for a nap. Harry helps Ethan and Luna mix the cookie dough with a wooden spoon, three pairs of hands working at it. Louis smiles fondly at her family.
"Looks delicious, loves," Louis praises. She sets up the cookie cutters on the kitchen table and gets the trays ready to go.
"Alright, now we have to roll out the dough and cut them out, okay?" Harry says, moving the bowl over to the kitchen table. She lets the kids help use the rolling pin, and Louis loves how good she is with them. She always makes them feel like they're capable of anything. She never takes over and does it herself, but allows them to work at it with her and feel like they played a part in it. She's an incredible mom.
They help the kids cut out different shapes and put them onto the tray. As they're putting them into the oven, the twins start to cry, so Louis runs up to get them. When she comes back down, Harry is getting a quick dinner prepared with Ethan and Luna setting the table.
"Such good helpers," Louis grins, setting the twins down onto the floor and letting them run to the table. "Wait, wait, wash your hands before you make cookies!"
Louis grabs the twins again to get them to wash their hands and Ethan helps them cut some cookies out. Louis helps Harry prepare for dinner however she can and rotates out the cookies.
"Cookies are hot! Don't touch them until after dinner. They have to cool off before we can decorate," Louis says. "Got it?"
"Got it!" Luna says, putting a fork next to everyone's plate. Everyone runs around the kitchen, and that's basically how it always is in this house, but Louis wouldn't trade it for the world.
"Dinner is ready! Everyone clean up and sit before it gets cold!" Harry says.
The kids all run to the sink to wash their hands and Harry moves the baking stuff onto the counter to give them more room to eat. Louis puts down the food and the kids all sit in their designated area and Harry and Louis help the twins into their booster seats.
After dinner, the kids help clean up and they finish baking their cookies. Louis sets them up with frosting and cooled off cookies and let them decorate freely. They all make a serious mess with all different colored frosting. Louis laughs fondly, trying to clean them somewhat but giving up and leaving it for bath time.
Once their cookies are all decorated and the whole house smells of sugar, Louis and Harry allow them to have one each before they go and open up a gift each.
"Are they good?" Harry asks.
"Delicious!" Ethan says around the bite of his cookie.
"Hey, no talking with your mouth full," Louis scolds gently.
"Sorry, mommy."
"You guys did a great job with these cookies," Louis says, breaking a piece off of a snowflake.
"Mama helped a lot," Luna admits, a large streak of green frosting covering her cheek.
"You guys did a lot, though," Harry says. "You did awesome. Did you tell mommy what else you helped me with?"
"Oh! We forgot" Luna says. "Mommy, we made you a birthday cake!"
"Did you, now?" Louis grins.
"Well, they helped me decorate," Harry smiles. "I made the cake last night when you went to bed."
"I can't believe you," Louis laughs. "Thank you guys so much."
"We're going to have to sing again, obviously," Ethan says.
"I have to get the cake first," Harry says. She goes to the fridge to grab it, and it's got a mixture of colors decorating it. Louis grins.
"It's so beautiful!"
"It's vanilla with cream cheese frosting," Harry says.
"My favorite."
"Of course," Harry grins. "And the kids have cards for you."
"Aw, you're so sweet."
The kids run to one of the junk drawers and grab their colorful cards. They hand them off to Louis and she kisses them all before they sit back down. She reads through them all, and she sees Harry's handwriting in the twins' card, having written the date in the corner and "Happy Birthday Mommy!" in it.
"These are all so beautiful! Wow, you guys are a bunch of artists. Thank you all so much."
"Now we sing!" Ethan says. Louis laughs as they begin to sing (loudly) once again. Harry lights the candles as they sing and drops a kiss to Louis' lips. Louis blows out the candles when they're done, and the only thing she wishes for is that everything stays the same.

After eating their cookies and enjoying the homemade birthday cake, Harry and Louis wrangle the kids into the living room (after a bit of clean up so they don't get frosting everywhere). They sit around the tree and Louis and Harry grab their gifts from under the tree they put while they were with Liam.
"Okay, you guys know the rules. You get your one gift and that's it for tonight, okay? Santa is coming tonight with a bunch more so this is just for now," Harry says. They know from experience that sometimes they get too excited to open more gifts and throw tantrums.
"Can we open it now?" Luna asks impatiently. Louis and Harry laugh and roll their eyes.
"Go ahead," Louis says.
They each rip excitedly at the wrapping paper. Louis and Harry give the twins some assistance with opening it up. The kids yell excitedly when they see their brand new pajama sets, all according to what they like the most. They also each get a short Christmas book that Louis and Harry will read to them before bed.
"Yes! Toy Story!" Ethan cheers. Harry and Louis laugh, and Harry shares a wink with her.
"Okay, guys, it's bath time. Olivia, Aiden, you're going first," Louis says. "We'll get you all cleaned up and into your brand new pajamas and mama and I will read you your books, okay?"
"Otay," Aiden says, lifting his arms up, waiting for his mother to take him.
Louis grins and scoops up the twins. "You've got them down here?"
"Yeah, we're good," Harry says. "Okay, my little monsters, we can watch either Rudolph or Frosty the Snowman, and then it's bath time."
"Rudolph!" Ethan and Luna both yell.
"Okay, okay," Harry laughs, raising her hands in surrender. "Rudolph it is."
"Alright, we'll be upstairs. Bring them up when Rudolph is over with their pajamas and books and we'll give them a bath," Louis says.
"Sounds good."
Louis leans down to kiss Harry softly and takes the twins upstairs, each of them holding their box. She brings them into the bathroom and fills up the tub with warm water and their special cotton candy scented bubbles. Louis makes sure they have all their toys with them and put them into the tub.
"Okay, lovies, you two made such a mess, didn't you? Yes you did," Louis smiles, kneeling by the tub and rolling up her sleeves. "We have to make sure you're nice and clean for when Santa comes tonight, yeah?"
"Saaanta," Olivia sings. "To town!"
"Yeah, baby, Santa Claus is coming to town, that's right! He's going to bring you so many presents, isn't he?"
"Yup!" Aiden says happily. Louis smiles as they splash and play with their bath toys. After their quick bath, Louis gets them into their new, warm pajamas and carries them to their bedroom. She sits in the big armchair they have in the corner of the room and puts the kids on her lap so she can read them their stories. They snuggle in close to her chest and listen intently, but by the second story, their eyes are starting to droop. Even with their nap, it's been an exhausting day for them, so Louis is hoping they sleep well.
She doesn't have to finish the story because they're both out like lights before it's over. Louis smiles and gently puts the book on the windowsill behind her and picks up the kids, gently putting them into their cribs.
"Night, loves," Louis whispers, turning on their nightlights and turning off the lights, leaving the door cracked so they can call out if they need their moms at all. She walks back downstairs and sees the kids arranging their sugar cookies on their special plate for Santa. Harry pours milk into a glass and sets it out on the coffee table by the tree.
"Mommy, we're putting our cookies out for Santa! And mama said we can put carrots outside for the reindeer, too!" Luna says excitedly.
"Oh, that sounds lovely," Louis replies. "They're going to love that."
"We've got to hurry, though, because we need to get you two into the bath," Harry says. "C'mon, I've got the carrots right here. We'll quickly throw them outside."
They follow Harry to the front door and toss out some carrots, and Louis watches them with a warm smile, crossing her arms over her chest. Harry closes the door and smiles at Louis.
"Okay, bath time! Let's go!" Louis says, motioning them up the stairs. They run upstairs and Harry and Louis share a smile. Harry puts her hand on Louis' lower back and they follow the kids up to the bathroom.
After their fun-filled bath, they put on their pajamas by themselves. Harry goes with Ethan and Louis goes with Luna to read them their books, knowing they're exhausted and they can only handle one story. After their stories and some cuddling, they say goodnight, and Louis and Harry make sure to go into the other child's room to say goodnight.
"One more sleep 'til Santa," Louis whispers to both Luna and Ethan, making sure to kiss them and thank them again for a wonderful birthday.
After playing Santa Claus with Harry and putting all the gifts under the tree and filling the stockings, they sit on the couch in front of the fireplace, the garland on the mantel lit up and the tree shining in the corner of the room.
"Thanks for today," Louis whispers. "It was lovely."
"I do have one more little gift for you," Harry murmurs, kissing her softly.
"No, babe, you did too much! You do this every year," Louis giggles.
"I like to spoil you. Nothing wrong with that," Harry grins. She turns over and pulls out a photo album and hands it to Louis. It's decorated with black and gold details and on the front is says To Louis, My Love. Here is Our Life Together.
Louis' eyes are already damp just from reading that. She opens up the book and the first picture that greets her is a photo from the X Factor; specifically, the moment they were put together, which Louis tied around Harry's waist like a koala bear. Louis giggles and blinks back her tears.
"God, look at this. I told myself I didn't want to be with you, and yet I jumped right into your arms when I knew we'd be spending time together. I was gone for you the moment we met, whether I believed it or not."
"Certainly glad you were," Harry grins. "Because I was definitely gone for you as well."
"You made that clear," Louis smirks. "I'm irresistible, babe. It wasn't your fault."
Harry rolls her eyes fondly. Louis turns the page and sees their first picture together. It's a simple picture of them next to each other, Harry's arm around Louis' shoulder the day they were put together. The photos all go in order, showing their lives on X Factor, like candid photos people took of them together, just talking on the couch or in the same bunk. Louis can see clearly, just from photos, how she fell in love with Harry. She sees it in her eyes, the way they shine a little brighter when she's looking at Harry, or anywhere around her, honestly. She sees the big smile on her face in every picture, and she sees it grow as the photos go along.
Eventually, she gets to pictures of them as a couple. They hold hands, they cuddle, and sometimes even kiss. She knows some of these were taken by the girls and she laughs. There's one photo of them snogging messily on the bus and one of Niall's fingers in the frame flipping them off. Louis giggles madly.
There are countless photos of them on tour, and pictures taken all over the world. There's New York City and Los Angeles and all different parts of Europe. There's Africa and the children they got to spend time with. There's Brazil and Mexico and Argentina and Japan and Australia. It's all so overwhelming when looking at it this way, seeing it on paper and showing just how much they actually did in such little time.
Then, suddenly, there are pictures of a pregnant Louis. Louis grins, flipping through her journey of carrying Ethan. There's adorable pictures they had professionally taken out in their backyard with a focus on the baby bump. Then there are pictures from the hospital of a newborn Ethan making his way into the album. Louis giggles wetly at how small he was and how much he's grown.
From there, he grows in every picture, and there's a wedding thrown in there somewhere. It was a gorgeous ceremony planned in a short amount of time because Louis didn't want to start showing with Luna in her beautiful, expensive wedding dress. It was an intimate wedding, though, with only the people they truly wanted there, and it was lovely.
Then Luna is in the picture (pun intended). There's family pictures and pictures of Ethan and Luna together in their playpens or with food all over their faces in their highchairs. Eventually the twins show up, and the last picture is their latest Christmas card. The five of them are in front of their Christmas tree, Harry and Louis sitting besides each other in matching pajamas, while Ethan sits on Harry's side and Luna on Louis', while Harry and Louis each have a twin on their lap. Luna and Olivia have matching pajamas, and so do Ethan and Aiden, all smiling brightly at the camera. Louis is confused, though, when a pair of grey knit booties fall onto her lap.
"What are these from?" Louis asks, picking up the soft socks. She stares at Harry seriously. "Harry, are you pregnant?"
They both laugh, and Harry shakes her head. "No, no, but you are."
"What are you talking about?"
"The doctor called back with your lab results. You didn't have the stomach flu, it was just a really bad bout of morning sickness. You're five weeks along. Surprise."
"Five kids," Louis laughs a little manically. "We're going to have five kids."
"We are," Harry laughs with her.
"It's going to be a madhouse here."
"I'm sure. I'm excited, though. I love when you're big and swollen with my pups."
"I do, too," Louis smiles, pressing a kiss to Harry's mouth. "We're having another baby."
"We are. Happy birthday, love."
"Hope the kids are excited."
"I'm sure they will be," Harry says. "We'll tell them tomorrow morning and it'll be part of their Christmas present."
"And what a wonderful Christmas present it is."
Louis can't believe the girl she met in the toilet ended up being such a big and important part of her life, but she's definitely glad it happened.