A Whispered Cry

Chapter 1

What if people weren't so cruel and pain was deceased? What if fear was extinct and a dream wasn't just useless hope. What if time stood still at the peak of someone's life when they were actually happy? Yea, I couldn't see that either. Oh how rude of me I didn't even give a proper introduction. My name is Carter i'm depressed, my heart is shattered, and hope is gone, simple. It's actually funny how life works and in one instance you could lose everything, and pretty soon you lose yourself. I guess what I'm saying is I need you, pretty soon my thoughts will poison me and I'll be forever asleep. I'm not scared though, I'll actually be more relieved, pain and sorrow will be no more of me. At last let me get to my point. I am excited for my funeral, but I want to tell my story.  Hopefully all you will understand my life, and why I did what I did. And for the people who's going to judge about my decision, I just wanna say, "people.get.tired". And for the people I left with hearts full of pain, I just want you know, that I'm sorry, and I need you to let go. Let me go, forget about me and my place in your lives. It's for the best. Now I know this sounds really crazy but my life actually  started when I was 10, that's when I began noticing life and paying attention to humanity.

It was 3:56 and I watched the purple sky sob from my bed. It's cold tears would fall down my window and I would imagine cheering it up. I shouldn't have been awake but they were arguing again. It was always the same thing, he was broken and she was his punching bag. I remember when they were actually happy. My mom worked as a beautician and my dad built cars. He had a deep passion for building, it wasn't just a job to him. He would always bring a piece of a car home to me and every time he would bring a piece home, me and my sister would make a type of "abstract" art with it. Our parents would capture the moments and watch us, as if amazed by the style of the art. It was kinda funny to me and my sister because when we created these art sculptures, we would see them as a piece of junk. But my dad saw them as a form of a lifestyle, as a symbol for his happiness and he would keep them, as if they were trophies. My mom would come home and cook with my sister, and then play with us for a little while. Then we would sit down at the dinner table and have the best conversations, my dad and my sister would say the most hilarious things. Every Saturday night was family night, we would play games, or go to the movies, or even just have a mini talent show in our living room. We we're the perfect little family but everything changed when my dad got into a car accident. He lost everything, he got the shit sued out of him, he was paralyzed for 7 months, and he lost his joy when his job fired him. After he gained back control of his body, he was really stressed and he starting drinking. At first it was one drink a week and then it just started growing more and more until he began drinking 3 times a day. My mom would come home from work and cook and he got jealous. He started beating her after time passed by and she let go of reality. She always made excuses for his aggressive behavior, she would always say he'll change or he's just is in a tough situation, so he's a little stressed. I always got a little sad when I looked into her eyes, she really loved him and would take everything she had to help him. That didn't make me sad though, she was miserable, and scared. You could tell she was searching for something mentally, she lost her pride. I felt sorry for my dad too, it killed him inside to know that my mom was providing for our family while he wasn't. After a while though that sorry I had for my dad turned into hate as each day past by and that happy family we once had was just a memory.

"LANCE STOP!", My Mom cried
"SMACK!"
I slowly creeped across the hall into my sisters blue room. There she sat at the peak of her bed with a pensive look on her face as if detached from the world.
"He's drunk again." I said
"Like every night." She said with disgust
In fright we sauntered down the crystal stairs and peaked for insurance of our mothers safety.
"YOU THINK YOUR BETTER THAN ME!", Dad yelled
"NO LANCE, PLEASE!" My Mom weeped
"Bang!"
My mom laid on the floor, desperately pleading him to stop. She was so innocent and compassionate that she didn't even protect herself from this monster she called her husband. Blood trickled down her face along with her ongoing tears. My dad had something in his hand and me and my sister inquired to figure it out. He paused as if thinking about his next move. HE WAS ABOUT TO SHOOT HER! Me and my sister dashed into the marble kitchen furiously attacking our dad. My red Spider-Man slippers flew off as I dived on his back violently choking him. My sister grabbed the dangerous object out of his hand.
"Bang"
You could hear the violent bang of my head as my dad threw me onto the hardwood floor. A soft whimper left my soul as I became unconscious.

"Mom he's starting to move!" My Sister Drew said
"My poor baby" My mom said

My Mom's hazel eyes glanced down at me with extreme sadness. Somehow she felt responsible for me getting hurt.
"Mom it's fine, I only have a little headache" I Reassured
Hours past and my sister slowly pushed me out the doors of the hospital. My mom gently put me in her blue car being as careful as she could. I noticed all of our stuff was in the car so it was really cramped.
"Mom are we going to stay with grandma again" I asked
"No Carter, but we're not staying with your father anymore" She said
"So Daddy won't hurt us anymore?" I said with an innocent tone
"No Baby, he won't" She said with relief

I watched the dashing cars move swiftly down the busy highway. We had been driving for hours and I was starting to get grumpy.
"Mom, when are we gonna be there" I asked
"Whenever we get there" She responded
"But i'm hungry" I wined
"There's some Doritos and A sandwich in your lunch box" She said
"Past me mine Carter" Drew said as if relieved
"I want a happy meal Mommy" I said
"Boy, eat those Doritos and imagine their a 4 piece chicken nugget with honey mustard on the side" She teased
I slowly put a Dorito in my mouth, not realizing her sarcasm. I watched the glazing moon from my window. I sighed in frustration, the moon was following me again.
"Just leave me alone" I whispered

"Your the one who's watching me" I imagined it saying "You'll never catch up to me so stop trying" I whispered back
"Carter we both know I'm faster than you" Drew said
"I wasn't talking to u" I quickly responded
"Yea you hit your head real hard there bud" she said
My mom pulled into some dull, broken down apartment complex.

"Kids we're here!" My mom yelled
"Finally" I said
"Drew grab your brothers wheelchair, and help him out the car"
"Yes Mommy" My sister said yawning
"I'm Fine" I said as I waddled to the door
My mom opened the door of the apartment and stared at the empty home as if we had just won the lottery.
"Now kids, sit down real quick" My mom said
"What's wrong" Drew said
"Now look, this isn't gonna be like the last house, you're not gonna have a babysitter When I'm gone" she said
"So I'm gonna be in charge mommy?" Drew said
"Something like that." She replied
"So daddy's gone for good" I said observing her bruises
Silence bounced off the empty walls as I waited for something my mother wasn't ready to answer.
I stared at my mom with an impassive look, waiting for her to announce our next move.
"Ok, little critters go on to bed now" My mom said
Curiosity filled me, as I thought we have completely no furniture. I didn't share my new discovery, knowing that my mom was exhausted. My mom guided me and my sister to a pallet she made from sheets in the car. I laid there lifeless thinking about what it would be like in this new chapter of our life. And for the first time today, I realized I didn't even get to say goodbye to my friends. I chuckled at my thought, I didn't have any friends, no one really ever noticed me. It never bothered me though, instead of friends I had poetry. After my father started drinking it was the only thing that kept me from exploding. I would picture me sitting next to a famous poet like Langston Hughes and just start busting out with poems; washing away our troubles.
My eyes gently closed as I let go of the thought.