The Vampires Ate All The Chocolate Cake (And Other Such Stories)

The Chocolate Cake Incident

At Clawbeck Academy, it was the first week of term after the summer. Faeries still had their wings tucked out of their shirt in lessons - 'You know the rules, wings have to be in unless you have special permission' - and excited First Years were still turning a corner and finding themselves in the Fifth Year common room by accident. All in all, it was an average first week back - until the chocolate cake was announced.

Aliza Khan had a friend of a friend whose mother was head of the catering at Clawbeck. And Aliza said that Saturday would be chocolate cake day for the weekend boarders; or at least that's what Jemima North said what happened. Of course, the werewolves asked if it was gluten-free, the faeries wrinkled their noses in disgust and the sorcerers just shrugged.

But the vampires...

It is a little-known fact that vampires adore chocolate almost as much as they adore blood. If you were friends with a vampire, you pretty much resigned yourself to seeing chocolate sauce on absolutely everything, which meant that vampires were rarely friends with the prissy, weak-stomached faeries. Announcing the arrival of chocolate cake was an easy way to ensure all the vampires stayed at school for the weekend, and piss off the faeries. And it was also a good way to get the smarter ones plotting.

***

The moment Jemima told everyone that Aliza's mutual friend's mother was planning chocolate cake, vampires quickly allied themselves with one another. This was not unusual; vampires are not in fact loners - they adore the company of others, and work extremely well as a team. Allies meant that only one person had to queue up for servings of diabetes on a plate, and that meant a shorter line for everyone.

But this time, this time, six vampires decided to take things further. Iris Campbell was notoriously best in Fourth Year at Strategy and Tactics, and her friends Kiera Nott and Jaz Evans weren't that far behind her. And Iris wasn't taking any chances this year. This year, she was getting that cake. All of it.

Her co-conspirators, aside from Jaz and Kiera, were Isaac Bottoms, George Heron and Sebastian 'Sebby' Frank. Last year, they had been Iris's biggest competition and they were the brawn to her brains, which meant she had a perfectly balanced team to retrieve the chocolate cake.

The plan - of course there was a plan - has been drawn up the night before the unveiling of cake. Iris, Kiera, Jaz, Isaac, George and Sebby sat around a coffee table, notepads and pens in front of them.

"We need some ideas," Iris announced, tossing her long black hair over her shoulders. "The cake will be made tonight, so time is of the essence."

"We need to strike in the morning," Isaac suggested, glancing warily at a group of werewolves behind them. "Afternoon will be far too late; the cake will be chilled and impossible to get."

"Write that down," Iris instructed. "Thank you, Isaac. Anyone else?"

"Our main rivals will be the sorcerers," Kiera piped up, her long white-blonde hair spilling over her shoulders. "Werewolves won't eat anything with gluten in, and faeries only eat fruit or vegetables. Therefore, we must ensure that they are...incapacitated." Kiera smiled devilishly, her bright blue eyes lighting up with mischief.

"I can help out with the boys' dorms," George said in a bored tone, twirling his pen absently. "Jaz, you up for the girls?"

"Always," Jaz replied with a wink. Her slight smile made George flush a little.

"Enough flirting," Iris declared. "That mean Isaac, Kiera, Sebby and I will retrieve the cake. Unless you have any objections?"

"I have an objection, Campbell," Sebby spoke up. "I'm not getting the cake with you. I'll be on guard duty, since most of you forgot about a minor detail - teachers."