An Unexpected Romance (Onision and Shane Dawson)

My Fault

I turned off the camera. I had just finished recording a video.'The Truth',I was going to call it.But it seemed a bit click-baity.I didn't really want to seem that way. After everything that happend,I just needed some support.Not hate.I stared up at my Andy Biersack posted.Not even that pile of sexiness could lift my spirits.(Well,maybe a little.)I threw myself onto my bed.I just wanted to think for a couple minutes before editing and uploading that video.Just the other day,I had come out to my family and friends.Most were supportive.Most.Except one.My girlfriend of 4 years,Lainey.She became angry.I tried to explain but it's pretty hard to explain yourself over an angry girlfriend.She thought I had never loved her.That I just used her.But the truth was I never knew myself.I only realised when I was talking to a paticurly attractive man down at  the local club.I had been chatting with him for a couple months.Not cheating,but just friendly chats.He was always down there when I went.Saturday, 10.00 pm pm.Always,without fail.I found myself developing feelings for him.But I was straight.Or so I thought.After I started feeling this way,whenever I did anything with Lainey,it felt wrong.I was so confused.I didn't even know the guys fucking name.I attended therapy.My therapist only confirmed a thought that had been lingering in my head for a few months.That I was gay.I had to tell everyone.So I did.Here I am now.Without my girlfriend.I wanted to end things on good terms though.I contemplated calling her.No.I don't have the energy for her right now.I got up and started to begin editing my coming out video.I cringed as soon as the video started.Even after all these years,I hated the sound of my voice on video.I sighed.I clicked 'upload' and instantly turned off the computer.I didn't really want to be there when it blew up.Coming out videos always do.I looked at my watch.Almost midnight.I should go to bed.While changing,for bed I thought about the future.I couldn't stay here.Lainey was staying with her parents for a couple days.She'd be back by Thursday.I wanted to start packing tommorow morning and be ready for Wednesday night.I would have one last conversation on Saturday when she returned.Despite everything,I still wanted to end on good terms.Exhaustion took over from recent events,and I fell asleep.